You, but with a mask on

Let's acknowledge the elephant in the room: networking has not enjoyed a great rep.

"The process is full of artifice", a friend said once, with a grimace of distaste. "Selling, humble-bragging and misrepresentation of one's achievements - these are all neatly covered by the umbrella term 'networking'. No-one is genuinely themselves when they are networking".

Do we need to be, though? I muse.

We are genuinely "ourselves" when we are surrounded by our nearest and dearest - the people we trust. The people who have seen us in all sorts of different states ranging from the most loveable to the most irritating, and they still love us. And this is a good environment for us to just be, to be our most authentic, real selves.

In the professional settings though we are - ultimately - the wearers of different social masks. The social code dictates that we leave vile tempers and horrible moods outside, and try our best to get on with others. Granted, this social code is not readily accepted by all and the sentiment is not shared universally but, by and large, the term "professional persona" is something that the majority aspire to at work.

Masks are not evil in themselves. They are mere tools that allow us to function well in the society.

"I believe I shouldn't need to hide who I really am in order to fit in in the workplace", counters my Gen Z friend Josh.

Well, I think being professional - calm, fair, responsible and dutiful - is an essential mask that allows the world go round. I might not be feeling especially calm, fair, responsible or dutiful on a given day, but I also know that others do not deserve my bad mood or "what-the-hell" approach to a work task. And so I put my "consummate professional" mask on, and off I trot... To meetings, to clients, to colleagues.

Back to networking - no, you don't have to lose yourself in the process. You mustn't, in fact, try to be someone else, enhance your achievements or, worse of all, sell (never sell while networking. Never. Ever).

But, seriously, you can be wearing a mask of someone who is curious to make new and interesting connections, of someone who listens well and with an intent to learn, of someone who is eager to follow up and to establish strong, mutually-supportive relationships in place of superficial connections.

Networking is all about real people having real conversation, delighting in finding something they share, something they have in common. I often feel so excited when I'm networking - the opportunities to meet interesting people... the possibilities that the interesting connections can bring!

And if it means that I have to put on a mask to conceal my mad mood or bothersome work issue, so be it. Put on a mask, smile - and off you trot!! Enjoy networking. Really, do!