Are You Living Life In the Up Spiral?

I am so excited to be diving into yet another conversation and topic that is so deep and dear to my heart and soul. It was part of the breakthrough that I went through when I fully stepped into my full self, the truth of who I am, my full empowerment.

That doesn't mean that life is easy and breezy now. That I don't get riddled and challenged and have to call myself out on stuff, and that it's easy to navigate when I do. It's always going to be a journey.

But I always say it starts with awareness. We can't change anything that we're not aware of. So first, let's dive into what that really means. And how do we get clearer? How do we become aware?

Your life will always mirror back to you your belief system.

I recently released a video and article called “Understanding Victim Mindset.”

That's a choice. We are conditioned into this drama triangle. When we are living the role of either the victim, the persecutor, or the rescuer, we're always going to be in a state of drama and trauma. Life is always going to feel difficult and challenging. It's just part of the journey of that whole belief system and mindset.

So what does it really mean to live in the fullness of who you are?

Keep it simple, keep it simple, keep it simple.

And sometimes this is so simplistic that your representative, your ego mind, will want to kick it out. Like, “Oh, that's not going to work.” It will negotiate it.

So sometimes when it's really simple, we have to complicate the daylights out of stuff, especially if we're conditioned to live in a drama experience of our life.

First, I want to say that everything in your life is there to serve your highest and best good.

When you could come from that understanding and fully integrate that at the cellular level, you're already there, you're already living it. Because at that point, you start asking bigger questions.

You ask, “If everything is here to serve me and I'm experiencing something in my life right now that is unwanted, how is it serving me?”

See where the bigger question really presented itself. “How is this serving my highest and best good? What is it that I'm receiving out of this?”

The ego wants to tell us that if we have all these external things in our life, if we have the great relationship, the wonderful house, or the financial abundance, that everything is going to be okay. Yet the reality is it's not. That's not what brings us peace and joy and fulfillment inside.

First, we want to be able to see it clearly. Then we want to get very clear on what is my “yes”— what's up spiral? And what's “no”—what's down spiral?

What does up spiral and down spiral mean?

Up spiral is if it feels good. If it’s right for you, it's a fit for you, and it's got your name on it, then it's up spiral.

If it feels bad and it's challenging you in a way that is bringing you to a place where you’re second-guessing your self-worth and your value, it's addressing you in a deeper way, that is in the negative downward spiral.

We're going to get challenged and have to go into deeper states of understanding and awareness of our own shadow work. That's not going to feel good.

But when you're feeling shamed by another or judged by another, that doesn't feel good. Do we immediately walk away from it? Well, it just depends.

If it's in the up spiral — it started in the up spiral or else, we wouldn't be in the relationship or the experience in the first place. And it's turned, and now it's kind of presenting itself where you're starting to feel judged by another, then it's time to ask some deeper questions.

So I always say, if it’s the first time, shame on you. If it’s the second time, shame on me. I don't know if that really applies here, but I'm going to dive in there.

So you want to address it from that perspective. I'm feeling you have to communicate your needs. If it's in a relationship with another or an experience that involves other people, you want to say to them, “This is how I'm feeling.”

You want to express yourself, and then you want to just see what they do with it at that point.

If the behavior changes, then you could go to the next level. If it goes to the next level, guess where it ends up? Up spiral, and then you move forward.

But if it doesn't go to the next level, that's where the “first time, shame on you” type of thing shows up, because how many times are you going to give somebody the opportunity to dial it in? Well, that's up to you.

If it starts to go in a downward spiral where you're feeling not good about it, and you're actually censoring yourself, and you're not able to truly be the truth of who you are, you want to take a deeper look at that. Because then, that goes into down spiral.

When you get really clear on your up spiral and down spiral, and you don't run away from situations that are actually going to grow you into having a deeper level of intimacy with another, you got to dive in and have the conversation. You just don't walk away.

When you've established a relationship, you want to see where it goes. But then you get to experience, how is the behavior showing up? I always say words are easy to say, but actions say everything.

So if somebody matches you and meets you there after you've expressed your needs, then it's up spiral and it has continued to be a “yes.” I want you to be so clear on your up spiral and down spiral in your own life.

When it comes to relationships, it gets a little complicated because our own shadow is going to present through the experience of our relationships in another. And it will continue to challenge you to look within.

What part of you is creating this? What part of you needs to look at it differently? Or what part of you is activating a wound within your own self?

That's where your inner core work comes in. You dive into just seeing yourself a little clearer and taking responsibility for how you're showing up in the relationship.

But if it's something that you're saying “yes” to because you have an overactive people pleasing situation going on. You're saying, “Yeah, I remember finding myself saying ‘yes’ to dinner parties and going out to dinner with people I didn't really want to spend time with because I didn't want to hurt somebody’s feelings.” That’s people pleasing.

That's where we get really messed up, and that's where life gets complicated—when we're saying “yes,” when it's a “no.”

So if it's up spiral, it feels good. Say yes. If it's down spiral, it's a “no.” It doesn't feel good.

When there are deep relationships involved, you want to take a deeper look and go into the core of having a deeper conversation to really grow the relationship. Can this relationship that was once up spiral come back to up spiral? If so, what needs to happen to bring it there?

And if it continues to go in a downward spiral, then it's time to really have a deeper conversation with yourself. Are you willing to sacrifice your own self-worth for the relationship? That's kind of how we navigate life.

I'll continue to bring more awareness and clarity around what it means to be living in an up spiral and down spiral reality.

We’ll keep it simple. If it's a “hell yes,” it's up spiral. If it's a “hell no,” it's down spiral. If it's somewhere in the middle, we got to do a little work when it comes to our relationships. We want to look at our own core wound first because it will show up through our relationships with others.

You’ve got to take responsibility for who you are first and foremost and how you show up in your relationships. Nobody can do that for you.

In the up spiral, if you want to have deeper intimate relationships and that's part of your soul's journey, and you're calling that to you, then I highly suggest you look within your own shadow self, recognizing where your core wounds are being presented through another, and then having a deeper conversation.

Ask questions. “Did I hear you clearly? Are we speaking the same language? If not, how can we get clear together? And are we willing to do that journey together?”

Because it's a journey that both people have to partake in. It's not one sided.

Thank you so much for being here. Please like, share, and subscribe to my videos if they resonate with you. It's part of the way these little computer bots get my work out into the world.

Together, we can wake up and come into deeper states of love and intimacy, building core relationships with amazing people, really shifting our life in a positive way, and powering up. We power up—up spiral.