Are you listening to me?

Have you ever been in a conversation when you assume the other person was listening, only to find out that they were distracted or totally clueless to the subject at hand? Don't get upset, more often than not, that person was only hearing you and not listening to you.

Over the years, I have come to realize that there is a huge difference between "hearing" and "listening." Many people conflate these two terms as if they are the same, however they are not. Hearing is the act of perceiving sound and happens involuntarily unless you are hearing impaired. On the other hand, listening is a conscious decision that a person must choose to do. Listening requires concentration in order for an individual to process words, concepts, and meanings.

Many of us have problems listening because of impediments that get in the way. These stumbling blocks have become proverbial snags that prevent us from truly concentrating and being present in conversations.

Some of these listening blocks include the following:

1.) Mind Reading: Mind reading hinders listening because if anticipates the entire conversation before it happens. It also takes the focus from the actual conversation into a preconceived notion of what you think should be said.

2.) Practicing: Practicing prevents active listening because it focuses on preparing a response as opposed to processing the details of the conversation. Most of the conversation is spent rehearsing and waiting to speak rather than listening.

3.) Filtering: We all know someone with a "selective" memory. (It might be you.) Filtering is the same concept. Instead of listening, filtering is selectively choosing facts, topics, and pieces of a conversation in order to support your rebuttal, opinion, or claim.

4.) Interrupting: Nothing is more jarring to the flow of a conversation than being interrupted. It can also come off as being rude. Interrupting is disrespectful to the person speaking and it doesn't express gratitude.

Which listening block do you use the most?