Are you liked by others? That may not be enough!

I went to a branch of a very popular electronic store chain to buy a new water purifier. The sales person was so sweet, he gave me personalized attention, took me through the features of the various models he had and finally convinced me to buy one of the expensive models promising me that I will be getting more value than what I will be paying for and excellent after sales service. In fact, he gave me his number and said he would always be available if there was any trouble. I was happy with the customer service I received and specially liked the sales person who sold the purifier to me.

Post installation, it was functioning well. Suddenly after about a week or so, it stopped working. I was disappointed and immediately called the sales person. Initially he did not recognize me and later when he did, very coldly he told me to contact the company whose model I had purchased directly and complain to them. I reminded him of the promise he had made to me but he had only one answer that he can’t do anything and I will have to call the company and seek their help. Finally, I did get the problem resolved but decided never to go back to this electronic store again. My trust on them was lost.

Have you had a similar experience?

On many occasions, we do develop a liking to someone based on their etiquette and the way in which they behave with us. And we trust them. The moment we realize that there is another person hidden behind the nice likeable person, who is not authentic, who only was nice because of self-interest and who, in reality had some other motive for being nice, our trust is completely eroded.

Hence, rather than wanting to be a person who is liked by all, strive to be a person who is trusted by all. Once trust develops, they will automatically start liking you. ?

Trust is the foundation of all successful relationships. I remember two instances where even large organisations, liked by millions, lost trust due to some defects in their products and it took them so much effort and time to rebuild the trust with their customers. One of them was Nestle who rebuilt customer trust by improving the quality of Maggie noodles and the second was Cadbury’s who rebuilt trust by improving the packaging of Cadbury chocolates.

How do you build trust with others?

In an article in Harvard Business Review, authors Frances Frei & Anne Morriss introduces us to a Trust formula which has three core drivers:

Trust = Empathy + Logic + Authenticity

People tend to trust you when they believe that you care about them (empathy), when they have faith in your judgment and competence (logic) and when they think they are interacting with the real you (authenticity). A breakdown in even one of these three drivers leads to loss of trust. And likeability!

Let’s look at the three drivers of trust and how to build them.

Empathy:

1.????Many people tend to care more about themselves then others. They do not make attempts to get to know the other person closely. For e.g. in a meeting once they have made their point, they lose focus and are not interested in what the others are saying.

Solution: Care about others more than you care about yourself. Spend quality time with others which will help you know them better. ??

2.????It is observed that analytical people tend to lack empathy. For e.g., they get annoyed at people who take longer to understand concepts.

Solution: Be patient, everyone’s capability to understand things is different.

3.????People who are easily distracted during interactions with others, lack empathy. For e.g., during an important conversation, they do not hesitate in interrupting the discussion to pick up a phone call

Solution: Never pick a call when speaking to someone. Maintain good eye contact and focus. Be a good listener.

Logic (Judgement & Competence):

1.????People do not have the confidence in your ideas and your ability to execute them which is probably based on past experience or on how confidently you have presented the idea

Solution: For people to believe in you, it is important to have credentials & competence that qualify you for the job, the expertise, determination and dedication to execute ideas and the ability to communicate the same confidently to others so that they trust you.

2.????Some people are not able to answer questions, solve team member’s problems and are not updated with latest information. Others then do not trust them easily.

Solution: Constantly keep on updating yourself in your area of work. Obtain enough experience which will enable you to solve problems and handle mistakes easily.

Authenticity

1.????Many people behave differently with different people. Some of us are different in our behavior at home and different at work.

Solution: Be the same person everywhere. Let your behavior not be dependent upon relationship, hierarchy or your mood. ?

2.????People say something and do something else, promise something and don’t keep promises, agree to deliver on time but do not deliver and do not even inform about the delay.

Solution: Do what you say. Keep promises. Make yourself a reliable person. ?

To summarize, while it is good to be liked by others, it is more important to be trusted by them. ?

Building Trust is a process. Trust results from consistent and predictable interaction over time – Barbara M White

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