Are You Leading With Curiosity Or Control?

While recently coaching a frustrated leader, I began to wonder what was clogging up their leadership path forward. They seemed to be so strong with their technical skills and really could execute their deliverables with precision. Yet, they were struggling with partnering with their colleagues. The feedback they heard from bosses and teammates was that they were a bit of a know-it-all and demanded that others tackle their work in a very prescribed way. When asked how they perceived their relationships at work, they described their interactions with team members as one-way communications, not feeling they were heard or understood. The more deeply I listened, the more curious I became what was honestly going on.

Of course leaders need to feel empowered that they possess the right skills and knowledge to get things done in the best way possible. They need to have the confidence and courage to make difficult decisions. And most importantly, they need to form trusting relationships. But what if they lose a grip on connecting with teammates or bosses? Perhaps, the answer lies in the question below:

Are you leading with curiosity or control?

Five Tips To Let Curiosity, Not Control Drive Your Leadership:

1. Control Is Disempowering

Think back to a time when you may have felt that you had a controlling boss or colleague. Maybe a teammate was purposefully keeping important information to themselves in order to look like they had all the answers. Then in a meeting they blurted out some data that you were unaware of. How did that impact you? Did it make you uneasy about your contribution to the project? Did it alter how you interacted with them in the future? Hiding information destroys a leader’s credibility.

2. Curiosity Cultivates Ownership

Now think about when someone on your team may have approached you about adding your ideas to the deliverable. They decided to get curious?during a meeting with you and posed some of these questions:

• What are your thoughts about the direction we are taking?
• What might you add or delete to make our end result more impactful?
• You are so insightful with this topic, would you be willing to do the presentation?

How did you feel being included and asked for advice? Did your ownership soar?

3. Control Leads To One-Sided Communication

When our bosses or colleagues have a particular perspective of how to approach an assignment and are unwilling to hear any other possible pathway, communication shuts down. If this keeps happening over and over again, what usually results is people stop speaking up and sharing their great ideas. The controlling colleague is often left completing the project by themself with little input from anyone else.

4. Curiosity Creates Openness

What happens to the team when their leader encourages input from their colleagues? There is often a surge in brainstorming and possibilities for different solutions. People are not afraid to speak out, even if their idea isn’t the one chosen. A safe environment is created where each team member is comfortable and feels valued. Be curious by:

• Asking powerful questions about what is important to each team member.
• Being receptive to different perspectives.
• Not allowing your ideas to be the only ones evaluated.
• Cultivating a work environment that is inclusive and encouraging.

5. Choose Curiosity To Elevate Your Leadership

When leaders choose to be curious, they allow others to speak up and be heard. They are not concerned if their ideas are the ones selected for the final project because their worth is not tied to being controlling. They value input from their team members because they value their colleagues. Relationships are critical for any leader’s impact so they are willing to invest the time in being curious to lean into others. When their team shines so do they.

What other ways do you lead with curiosity?

Terri Klass, CPCC is a certified Executive and Leadership Coach who helps leaders and teams gain clarity, see possibilities, build confidence and create strategies to move forward that align with their values and vision. She partners with individuals as well as organizations to build their leadership influence. She delivers highly successful leadership workshops and is a speaker and author of articles about leadership. Learn more about Terri at www.terriklassconsulting.com.