You Know What They Say

Cliches and metaphors are a double-edged sword. On the one hand, you get to the point faster. On the other hand, people's brains click off if you use a lot of cliché language. On the third hand, there are birds in a bush. (Oh, those are idioms.)

Here's the Thing

If you say something someone predicts in conversation, they'll realized quickly that they can shut their active listening off. I will tell you as a member of the "probably has ADHD" tribe, I'm guilty of this. Once I'm pretty sure I know what you're going to talk about, my mind wanders. I don't WANT that to happen. It happens, though. My point is that maybe DON'T talk in clichés and overused language and imagery if you want people to stay actively involved and listening to what you have to say.

I'll Save You a Step

If you want to ignore my advice, just go buy Tamsen's new book.

Still With Me?

My primary point for this letter to you is to say hey, if you want people to pay attention, say something in ways they might not expect to hear it. There's a recipe to this:

• Say it a new way
• Repeat it often (but mix it up a tiny bit)
• Not "too" new

Here's one of my own that I said from as far back as like 2004 or so. "Give your ideas handles." The point was, "Don't make ideas YOURS. Make them easy for others to pick up and take with them." Help others implement your ideas instead of hoarding it.

So, new way? Yes. "Give your ideas handles" is 100% me. Repeat? I've been saying this for 20 years.

Now, the "too new" part. If you try to make a saying or expression or idiom and it's completely new but also completely weird and out in left field somewhere, it probably won't go anywhere.

"You know what they say: 'a goat can't be a doctor.' Am I right?"

Say that. No one will have a clue what you're saying. See what I mean? Not "too" new. "Give your ideas handles" is a phrase that is pretty easy to interpret, once I explain it. Right?

Dimensions of Interaction

A few things that seem to happen: we tend to want to communicate from our side of the fence. However, every human alive hears from theirs. They suddenly push a rapid scan button the moment you start speaking, where the ONLY thing they're wondering is "how do this affect me? How does this affect me? Howdoesthisaffectme?"

Thus, when you work to communicate and interact with others, the longer you make a person wait to hear how something does (or often doesn't) impact them, the more likely they won't hear much of what you've said until that point.

Ditto, if your cliché or expression or idiom is more about you than them, it'll be less well received. Here's an example of one of my failures in this department:

One way that I talk about money around Appfire is that I tell people I'm counting on their success to earn me a pony. It's a lame joke about making the value of my shares so high that I could purchase a pony with the proceeds once we find ourselves in a situation where we can sell some of our shares.

That saying isn't super great, because it focuses on me. I only ever talk about my pony. And how people's actions will earn me a pony. Know who cares about getting me a pony? Zero people. (Besides me.)

Thus, it's not a useful way to talk about it. I should have said, "I want you to be able to buy a pony." See what I mean?

Freshen It Up

The other day, I reminded us to talk with clarity and brevity. Now, I guess I'm adding novelty ot the mix. You see how that's helpful, though, right?

Here's one of my secrets. If you've ever seen me speak publicly like at a conference, I tend to use humor a lot. You know why? Because once I tell you a joke, your brain chemicals say, "Oh! I have to pay attention. He's trying to be clever here." And once your brain is warmed up, I sneak in the thing I really want you to learn and remember.

Who knows if this is the most effective way to do it. I got it from one professor M. Poppins. She said something something sugar and medicine.

But it's worked for me. Tell people things in a fresh way and they might actually hear it, remember it, and keep it fresh in their brains longer.

Wait. What if the medicine following the sugar is insulin? Wouldn't that be a problem?

You tell me.

Chris...