You know what makes me mad? ??????????????????

Navigating inequity, discrimination, and incompetence from the institutions that are there to serve us.

The Ausl?nderbeh?rde. Our first touchpoint as non-EU foreigners with the German government, the ones who set the tone for what integrating into this country will be like. And so often it goes completely off the rails.

I went through my immigration process during the Syrian refugee crisis. I learned a lot standing for hours in queues about what it looks like when an institution is pushed to the brink of collapse and fails to provide their essential service. Every time I was there, police were called to escort people out who were breaking under the trauma, stress, and chaos of a high stakes visit to the foreigner's office, where your future in this country is decided (seemingly) at the discretion of the person sitting across the table from you. The support and information you require is being gatekeeped by the very frustrated and antagonistic public servant who is completely unprepared, in all senses of the word, to assist you.

Now as the Canadian white man with a university education, living in a great neighbourhood, working for a company like Douglas, in a field with a labour shortage, and most importantly –?married to an EU national, you'd think it would be easy for me and I wouldn't have any troubles. Wrong. At every step during the immigration process I faced unlawful barriers to my immigration.

I wouldn't have my residency, if I didn't physically open the door and shove my foot inside, so that it couldn't be closed on me. That's literally what I had to do. I asked the information desk who is the highest authority inside the foreigner's office that I can file a complaint with, I found his nameplate on a door and opened it. I was told I could not enter and I had to leave. So I filed my complaint from the doorway, referencing a fundamental principle of the EU enshrined in Article 45: Free movement of EU nationals. And how they are violating the treaty by putting unlawful barriers on my immigration as the spouse of an EU national. Then after some heated discussion, things were mostly solved for that visit after, of course, having paper aggressively tore up in front of me a few times, pointing out how my name is still spelled wrong, or that the fee they were charging is incorrect as per the law.

I filed a complaint. Feminist philosopher Sara Ahmed in her book Complaint! examines the complex dynamics that take place when a complaint is made, and complaint as feminist pedagogy. I didn't have this book to read while waiting in those queues a couple years back, but the book resonates with me on why I complain and put myself through the labour of advocating for myself, instead of just complying. I do it for the people who cannot. It isn't lost on me that I wasn't roughed up by security or escorted out by police when I put my foot in the door and tried to enter a space where I was not allowed or welcomed. If I just comply with the unlawful barriers placed upon me, then those who are not able or allowed to advocate for themselves are left to the wolves. By complaining, by not accepting less, I stand in solidarity with those who don't have the power or position to resist injustice, inequity, and discrimination in the German immigration system.

I would love to write that this is the only story I have to share, but I have had to do this every single time I met German bureaucracy. The problems are structural and widespread. There is even an organization from the European Commission called SOLVIT that provides support to EU nationals in other countries when their rights as a citizen are breached by public authorities. We had to regrettably use that service, when the Ausl?nderbeh?rde threatened to deport my EU national spouse, who has been living legally in Germany for several years. I share this because I want you to know how quickly things escalate when you push back against these institutions, and how severe the consequences can be if you do not know your rights.

This is why I joined my colleagues at Douglas Helin P. , Ipek Simsek & Abhijeet Rao to form an employee resource group Internationals@Douglas and lead a project building an immigration knowledgebase and support network for non-EU hires to our company. Immigrating to this country shouldn't be this daunting. At Douglas, there will be people to see, hear, and value you.