If you keep hitting your head against a wall....this is the result!

I am very angry. Yet I feel that being angry is a wasted emotion and something that I can put aside in order to deal with my current situation in a calm and reasonable way. That's what adults do right?

Wrong. The more I deny my feelings of anger, the more I put them to one side, the more I am unwilling to accept the feeling of being angry, the more angry I feel. I am ignoring my anger rather than accepting it.

My anger comes from being in a situation where I was treated unfairly. In fact I was treated appallingly by a person I trusted. This is not the first time that this has happened and sadly it may not be the last. My anger is at finding myself in this situation where I trusted someone who is not deserving of my trust. I am angry at me. And yet I am still hoping that at some point this person who has demonstrated no empathy or understanding for anyone but him self may actually change his behaviour. This is my "positivity" at play!

Madness....like hitting your head against a wall!

If you hit your head against the wall enough times you will get a result - It just may not be the result you require. Yet we all do this at times thinking (hoping) we just might get a better outcome.

What we get is a big hole in the wall and more anger and frustration (As now we feel we need to fix the hole as well as the situation)

Reframe the situation

Start my giving a score out of 10 to the following questions (10 being very important /0 being totally unimportant) In order to release the emotion we must first accept and acknowledge the emotion.....

Is this situation worth the investment of your time and effort?

Is this person worth the investment of your time and effort?

How important is this situation/person in your life?

My score for this person's behaviour on all three questions is 0 and his behaviour demonstrates his lack of leadership, integrity and authenticity.

In fact I have great empathy for this person because his behaviour demonstrates to me how scared and insecure he really is on the inside. And frankly given the situation he is in (when I look at it from a place of non emotion) he is not in a place of security......which is why his behaviour is equal to his leadership capacity - poor!

Now at the start of my self coaching session here I was very angry and I wanted to name this person expose him for the fraud he is and for his nasty unkind behaviour. For the fact that he treated me with no respect and continues to do so. A few of you might even guess who he is.....you may have the unfortunate experience of having to deal with his passive aggressive behaviour under the act of being a "good bloke" Be warned all that glitters is not gold.

But this is about me.....and dealing with my emotions as I can not change other's. The lesson for me in this situation is that there has been a long line of these people in my life teaching me a similar lesson. I congratulate myself for not being a victim in this situation (this releases the anger) but rather for seeing the learning (what is the purpose of this learning for me?) I am grateful for being able to share with others my experience, empowering others to learn too.

The universe will unravel and my experience is it can be quite cruel to those unwilling to learn from their experience. At the end of the day no matter your title, your ego, the story you tell others, how many emails you writ, how righteous you are, and how many times you justify your decisions.....all a person has in life is their integrity (or not)

A REMINDER HERE:

“Do. Or do not. There is no try.” Yoda - The Empire Strikes Back

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PS No actual wall was hurt due to this article!