Are you an introvert? Read this!

When I was young, I didn't understand why I didn't quite enjoy social events like weddings and birthday parties. I wondered why people commented about me that I am a "quiet person" when I thought I "talked too much". I wondered why my idea of a perfect holiday was watching birds, walking in woods or reading a book under a tree. In other words, it was exactly opposite to what others did: they enjoyed weddings and birthday parties, talked too much, listened and danced to blasting music and enjoyed adrenaline pumping adventure. I wondered what was wrong with me.

Here is why I find myself to be an introvert: I feel drained by being around with other people (especially lots of people or new people); I need some quite alone time to "recover" and get my batteries recharged. On the other hand, I find that quite a lot of others are extroverts: they get energised by being around with people (especially lots of people or new people); being alone can be draining for them.

Of course, there is nothing wrong with me - its okay to be an introvert. However, I see quite a few introverts around me who struggle to "live in their own skin" and cope up with "too much" noise around them. Sometimes, they even feel frustrated because they are unable to cope up with the unreasonable demands from the world around them.

On my own, I started slowly discovering that it is perfectly okay to be an introvert. What's more, with growing awareness, I am understanding that being an introvert can be a huge advantage. In fact, most of the eminent personalities in the world (especially the ones who have contributed immensely to literature and science) were/are introverts!

Here is the insight: its not just okay to be an introvert, being an introvert can be a huge advantage in this world that celebrates extroverts!

I am writing this article to share some ideas that worked for me. If you are still feeling uncomfortable being an introvert, I have three specific ideas to help you:

1. There are excellent books on the subject of being an introvert. The first and only book I read on this topic is "The Introvert Advantage" by Martin Olsen Lany, which I whole-heartedly recommend.
2. Watch excellent talks such as "The Power of Introverts" by Susan Cain (given in TED - my favourite for conference talks).
3. Read autobiographies/biographies of world leaders or achievers (who were introverts) that you can relate to, such as Charles Darwin, Michael Jordan, Mahatma Gandhi, J K Rowling, Abraham Lincoln, Eleanor Roosevelt, Steven Spielberg, or Albert Einstein. My favourite is Gandhi's "Experiments with Truth" which I thoroughly enjoyed reading when I was studying in 9th standard (at that time, my family left me alone in my home for two days to attend a wedding so I read the book in one go!).

In general, introverts have a rich inner world. As an example, I always find my mind to be exploding with thoughts and ideas. Being an introvert is more like being a duck: it appears calm on the outside but is paddling furiously under the water!

As Stephen Hawking said, "quiet people have the loudest minds". That's one of the reasons why introverts find conflicts with others to be very hard to deal with.

Though I think a lot, I don't share much of my ideas through talking. I prefer writing over talking. Many people think that I am an extrovert because I network very well and give many talks in a week; what that just means is that I am able to cope up well with myself as being an introvert. Think about it: I am patiently writing this article about being an introvert in a Sunday evening for a couple of hours and think that I am having a great time. What is more, I am patiently reading my own words, re-reading it and revising it multiple times - this is something only an introvert can do!

So, here is the big idea: having a rich inner world is a source of making immense contributions to the external world. To achieve that, here are specific ideas that you as an introvert can find it useful:

1. Nurture your thoughts and make your inner world much more richer. But also make a conscious effort to communicate with the outer world. History shows that many extraordinary communicators (especially writers) were introverts. Most introverts prefer writing over talking. Turn it to your advantage and write more. In fact, writing is the most potent weapon in the world that is dominated by internet today.
2. As an introvert, you will never ever find it completely comfortable to meet a lot of people or new people. Turn this to your advantage and focus on building one-to-one deeper personal relationships. When it comes to relationships, quality certainly trumps quantity, i.e., it is better to develop fewer deeper relationships than numerous shallow relationships. (Note that extroverts tend to develop shallow relationships with a huge number of people).
3. Spend more time alone. Saints and scientists (most of them introverts) have made extraordinary internal and external discoveries by spending time in solitude thinking deeply. Spending time in nature (could be even simple ones like regular evening or early morning walks near trees or in a garden) can be quite powerful and can refuel you like nothing else can. With regular full recharges, you can reach your fullest potential.

These tips are specifically focused on turning the perceived drawbacks of introverts to a huge advantage.

“As an introvert, you can be your own best friend or your worst enemy" (- Laurie Helgoe). As an introvert I invite you to make the right choice and exploit the inherent advantages of being an introvert.

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