Are you humble enough? Probably not

When was the last time you admitted a mistake to your team or they felt comfortable giving you honest feedback about how you’re leading? Can’t recall? Doing these things when you’re the boss requires a strong dose of humility. But too few leaders display it.

I was a hot head in my younger years. I’ve thrown a stapler or two at walls. It stemmed from frustration that my vision wasn’t being executed on--couldn’t everyone read my mind? I had my wake-up moment a few years ago. I launched into a tirade toward someone in my group and, at the pinnacle of my fit, a fellow partner stopped the meeting, pulled me out and humbled me. I apologized in front of the group and learned a valuable lesson I’ve tried to live every day since.

Humility helps us learn and grow as people--and it’s crucial to effectively teach and lead. Unfortunately, it’s not a common trait in our ego-driven business culture. We often want to be seen as heroic leaders -- bold, confident, all-knowing. And when your title calls for decisiveness, delegating and advice-giving, well, being humble seems counterintuitive. But as management thinker and author Jim Collins notes, "The x-factor of great leadership is not personality, it's humility.”

Humility requires listening. It demands ruthless self-reflection. It means respecting and accepting feedback from others--at any level. I learned this firsthand from a leader I used to watch closely in meetings. He would quietly listen for the first 90% of a meeting, and in the last 10%, he would reflect on what he gained from the conversation, eloquently provide some direction and then immediately ask for feedback.

Many executives mistake humility for weakness and try to own the air around them. In giving into this fallacy, leaders may criticize subordinates instead of coaching them, dismiss collective ideas in favor of their own agenda, or blame others for missteps rather than accept responsibility.

But humble leaders do more than listen, reflect and respect. They model how to be effectively human rather than superhuman and legitimize "becoming" rather than "pretending,” according to research from the University at Buffalo. “Humble leaders foster learning-oriented teams and engage employees. They also optimize job satisfaction and employee retention,” explained Michael Johnson, a professor at University of Washington and a co-author of the research.

The consequences of humility-free leadership

The opposite of humility--self-grandeur, pride, even displays of narcissism--brings real consequences. Distrust. Ineffective management. Higher turnover. Case in point: 75% of people who leave a company report they’ve resigned because of issues with the boss, according to Gallup. Client relationships and project success can suffer. If you aren’t able to listen or take feedback, can you really understand customer issues or quickly change course if needed?

Lacking humility is especially problematic now, with technological advancements moving at the speed of light and a crop of senior leaders who are unlikely to be digital natives. Consider this: 90% of the world’s data was created in the past year alone. That should humble us all. New technology and methods of work mean that many leaders, unlikely to be digital natives, might not understand how to use data effectively--and sometimes might not even understand what their teams are talking about. You probably have employees who know their way around things far better than you do.

Cards on the table, boss

Now what? Being brash and acting as if you’re all-knowing won’t cut it. How will your workforce trust you if you’re not honest about your own shortcomings and knowledge gaps? This is what best-selling author Adam Grant calls “performance humility.” In expounding on its importance, he writes, “it means admitting that we fall short of our goals, we make mistakes, sometimes we even fall flat on our faces.”

At PwC, for instance, our U.S, Chairman and senior partner, Tim Ryan, challenged the entire leadership team to take a digital fitness assessment (DFA) to see where our skills, behaviors and mindsets stood when it comes to being more digital in the way we work. Ok, not so bad. Just 23 questions and multiple choice answers. Then he told us to share our initial scores openly with one another and with our employees.

It was humbling. It reaffirmed his believe in the servant leadership model and sent a message to the rest of the firm: it’s okay to not know everything because we all have room to improve--even the boss. It’s more evidence that it’s time for executives and leaders to admit what they don’t know, surround themselves with people who have the answers, and learn along the way.

You don’t have to become the patron saint of humility to adjust your leadership style, but you do have to commit to it. And you probably have to change some behaviors.

1. Adopt a learning mindset. It’s less about what you already know, and more about what you can still learn. Train yourself to stop relying too heavily on “what’s worked in the past.” Remind yourself regularly--multiple times a day if needed--that you don’t have all the answers and that exploring new ideas is key to survival.
2. Listen first, talk later. Humble leaders don’t just give advice, they take it too. Actively make your team feel as if you are working for them, not just the other way around. Ask your team for feedback about projects, your leadership style, daily pain points. And then work toward improvements based on what you hear. It might take time for your team to trust this new you, but keep at it.
3. Share the blame, and the credit. Organizations win and lose as a team and humble leaders share accountability. Next time you find yourself ready to shift blame when something goes wrong, pause. Adopt a position of assessment, and be upfront about your own shortcomings or mistakes. When there’s a big win to celebrate, shine the spotlight on the team.

Inspirational speaker Alexander den heijer says “When I talk to a manager, I get the feeling that they are important. When I talk to a leader, I get the feeling that I am important.”

Now, ask yourself: Could my leadership use more humility?

I humbly request that you follow me: @dlclarke