Are you hooked on online shopping? Here's why.

This might seem crazy coming from someone who works in tech and e-commerce, but here goes: I stopped wearing my Apple Watch a few months back.

The notifications, pings and buzzing had became overwhelming — and I just needed a break from the constant pull for my attention. But I was almost embarrassed by my choice. How would it look to my clients, online retailers, when I admitted that even I had started to reject the demands of the digital age?

The other day, as I was explaining this to a client, he pulled up his cuff up to reveal a bare wrist: “I stopped wearing mine, too.”

It’s official: we’ve reached a saturation point with tech overload. Many of us have found ourselves falling into reward-centre feedback loops, craving the dopamine hits that likes and comments give to the brain, or the instant gratification of one-click shopping. We’re not exploring and learning anymore — we’re zombie scrolling, buying things we don’t want and spending precious hours staring at pictures we don’t care about.

It’s a big problem: studies show people are so attached to tech they suffer from anxiety and withdrawal when separated from their devices. Meanwhile the mindless hours spent online suck time we could be spending on actual relationships and human connection, and too much screen time has been shown to actually damage the brain.

I don’t just worry about this from a personal perspective — this has big implications for my entire industry as well. In a world where Facebook executives won't let their kids on Facebook and people are going to digital detox camp, where does this leave businesses that have evolved to sell, or help sell, things online?

Don’t get me wrong: I don’t think it’s fair to fault companies for using tricks and tools to get our attention on the web, but at the same time, isn’t there some degree of moral culpability? Right now it's an open question: with great power, is there also social responsibility?

A losing battle for our brains

Of course, what draws us to our screens — whether to scroll aimlessly or to shop carelessly — is fine-tuned science meant to exploit our brains.

Ads are now seamlessly integrated into social media, with hyper-targeting that follows you from site to site. Daily deals sites like Groupon and referral programs rely on social proofing to get you to buy; shopping clubs with an exclusive allure use false scarcity and the “gamification” of commerce to get us hooked on their flash sales. Meanwhile, social media influencers compete endlessly for our attention while surreptitiously pushing products.

With everything we come across online we’re incentivized to keep checking back, to share with our friends, to “win” via our engagement.

A lot of these tactics have been part of marketing forever (think sample sales and subscription schemes like Columbia House CDs — remember those?), but add on the way we're constantly engaged with our devices and the addictive UI and UX engineered by neuroscientists to target our brains, and do we really stand a chance?

At one point, it was considered the pinnacle of success for marketers to hook consumers on a subconscious or psychological level. But as more people reject tech’s addictive tactics, as well as the cost of being constantly plugged in, marketers may soon be forced to up their moral game.

Getting from “addictive” to ethical

Detox camps and kid-proofing computers will only get us so far in combating addictive tech.

Technology changes so fast that everyday users can’t possibly keep up with its hold on our lives — not to mention how to fight back. So there is a role for government here. In some parts of the world regulation is already taking hold — just look at Europe’s new General Data Protection Regulation act, or Canada’s Anti-Spam Legislation, which are setting the bar for good corporate behaviour online.

But while we wait for more top-down change, we do need to become more savvy online. Gen Z is leading the way with scrupulous behavior, taking leave of Facebook and other social media in record numbers, or turning to more private or temporary communication tools instead.

Another thing the average consumer can do? Demand more of brands. Reward businesses who are marketing smarter and building loyalty through ethical channels and consider the long-term wellbeing of their customers. Boll and Branch and Leesa are two examples of e-commerce businesses with a conscience that put customers ahead of profits by relying on word of mouth and thoughtful service over flashy and addictive marketing. It’s a strategy that builds on their ethos of ethical sourcing for products — and ultimately works better to attract long-term customers.

As people get more savvy about corporate behaviour online, brands that rely solely on cookies and clicks to target fragmented attention spans are going to have it harder in the long run than those who take the time to build values-based relationships with customers that grow over time.

The growing awareness of addictive tech might seem all negative at first, but I see it as an important step towards making e-commerce, social media and digital content what it should be: relevant, personalized and helpful. We should all be thinking critically about these tools and platforms; just as we should be demanding more than just a quick dopamine hit from companies that are asking for our money, as well as something even more valuable than that: our time.

A version of this post was originally featured in VentureBeat. Stay up to date with my latest by following me here and on Twitter.