Are You Holding Yourself Back?

Your career needs you as much as your team does.

As a manager, do you struggle with being stuck in a cycle of busy and stressful situations that you can?t break out of?

This may be related to self-sabotage, and failure to subscribe to the first rule of self-care: ‘‘Please put on your own oxygen mask first, before helping others’’.

1. Have you ever found yourself engaging in any of these self-sabotaging behaviours?

• Not taking responsibility for your own career development
• Not prioritizing interpersonal relationships at work
• Feeling threatened by the skills and experience of others and rejecting the opinions of team members
• Managers often forget to look after their own growth, learning and development, as they may be too busy fulfilling the needs of the team that they lead

2. Why Do We Tend To Do This?

Problematic behaviours are usually retained when it is perceived that they can bring sufficient benefits. Human beings have an innate need to both “fit in” and “stand apart”, which explains most of the self-sabotaging behaviours that managers may engage in. It manifests in the form of concerns with being liked, avoiding social exclusion and seeking individual acknowledgment.

A common experience among managers that is a great example of self-sabotaging behaviour, is the tendency to not share responsibility with the team members or delegate tasks. This behaviour might indicate the fear of missing out on the work that is being done, or the fear of being perceived negatively by the team members because you have passed on a job to them. Lack of trust towards the team members to get the job done might also be a causal factor for such behaviours.

3. How can you address this issue?

• Never assume your leaders or team members understand your position. Communicate your goals and need for growth explicitly.
• Find a balance between self-confidence and humility, and respect reality and complexity when delegating.
• Challenge negative ideas, try to learn from mistakes, and be assertive.
• Help yourself to achieve something in certain areas, enjoy and maintain the ability to learn and gain confidence.
• Accept that your growth directly contributes to your team’s success and progress. There is nothing selfish about it.

Your career needs you as much as your team does. Do not let team responsibilities consume you for a long time. Expand your horizons, add value in your current role, and ask yourself the right questions such as, ‘‘How can I grow? Where do I want to go? What can I do to develop my own skills?’’

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