Are You Holding Yourself Back? | Coaching With Connie
Whatever it is that you want to do, it’s right on the other side of the door that you’re looking at. Stop letting your brain not let you open that door. Make sure you’re giving yourself the opportunity to take advantage of the things that are sitting in front of you
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Today, I want to talk about the question, “Are you holding yourself back?” As human beings, when we’re children nothing holds us back like when we’re babies and we’re learning how to crawl. You just put something in front of us and we just figure out how to crawl and make it happen, but as we get older, we have a lot of self-talk, a lot of things that people tell us or we listen to and we let ourselves hold us back.
Think about all the things you could be doing if you didn’t talk yourself out of them. Your success at whatever it is, even it’s not a business thing, maybe it’s a personal thing like training for a marathon or wanting to paint a room in your house even. Your success is predicated by what’s in your mind. It has nothing to do with any physical ability.
Think of the times you see people on TV or in situations where they both loose both of their limbs and they ride a bicycle through a marathon. They figured out how to do the marathon and they didn’t let the fact that they had a physical ailment stop them. All of the things that you can’t do is all in your head. Your making yourself not be able to do things because you are not believing in yourself.
You have to stop letting your brain talk you out of something. A really good book that I’d love for you to read Mel Robbins book where she really talks about doing what you’re thinking about immediately. Don’t let your brain get in the way of telling you of the things you can and can’t do.
One thing we talk a lot about in the business world or entrepreneurial world is called Impostor Syndrome. The thing is, we talk ourselves out of being able to do something because we tell ourselves that we’re not good enough or there’s no way we could do something. Oprah Winfrey went through that through her first 10 years of her business, comparing herself to other people and saying, “I could never do that because I’m not good enough. I’m not as good as that person.”
What you think you’re good at or what you’re comparing yourself to is only a limited piece of what you’re seeing from someone else. You’re not seeing all the things that they had to struggle through to get to this point. Impostor Syndrome is where you decide that you’re just an impostor and there’s no way you can do what somebody else or what you’re seeing other people do. You can actually do it; you just don’t know it.
You know what your struggles are, but you don’t know what their struggles have been to get them to this point so make sure you reach out to that person and ask, “How did you do it?” That’s the reason why I’m bringing you this entrepreneurial series because I want to share with you real people, having real struggles, going through real things and getting it done. Your brain is what’s stopping you from doing it.
Yesterday, I interviewed a lady who had some really good wisdom points. One thing I like to do is get my entrepreneurs to talk about what their go-to piece of advice is and she said two super powerful things. One was cut yourself a break. I paused with that because you know who the person we’re hardest on most in our life, it’s ourselves. Our brain is saying, “You can’t do that” or “There’s no way that you could figure that out.” Get your brain to stop talking you out of things.
Number two. I love this! She said, “Watch your language to yourself.” If you’re saying things to yourself, I want you to think if you would say those things to someone that you love? Debbie showed us yesterday that she was saying all these terrible things to herself like, “You’re not good enough and you can’t do this.” She said, “Wait a minute. If I was talking to my daughter, who is my best friend, would I talk to her like this?” She said she would never talk to her like that.
We’re talking to ourselves like that. The question is, why are you talking to yourself like that? You need to watch the language that you use with yourself because your brain is talking you out of things. It’s a very smart tool that you have. It’s a fantastic piece of your body, it makes your body work and makes everything go as it’s supposed to in your system, but it’s been filled with however old you are, advice and information.
Sometimes what happens is all of that negative stuff is able to float to the top like oil on water. All the negativity or that self-doubt is the oil and the water is all the goodness. What I want you to do is think about that for a minute. Think about the thing that you really want to try, and you really want to do. Is your brain stopping you from getting to the other side of that door? Your success is right on the other side of that door.
Whatever it is that you want to do, it’s right on the other side of the door that you’re looking at. Stop letting your brain not let you open that door. It’s not just about your brain but it’s about the way you think about yourself. Stop talking in ugly language to yourself, cut yourself a break because it may take you a teeny bit longer than someone else, it’s okay because you still did it.
The other thing is, make sure you’re giving yourself the opportunity to take advantage of the things that are sitting in front of you. Don’t block your face and say, “Oh, I can’t do that because I’m not strong enough, I’m not good enough, or big enough.” But you absolutely are 100%.
Think about all of the people that achieved things without the physical abilities that you have. It’s your life. Stop letting your brain talk you out of stuff.
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