Are you the Hero of Your Story?

Picture this: a sea of people, their faces alight with anticipation, voices merging into a thunderous roar. The music begins, low and steady, as colored lights dart across the stage, dancing to the rhythm, weaving patterns of brilliance.

The tempo rises. Lights sharpen, converging at the center of the stage. The crowd’s energy mirrors the swell of the music, an electric pulse that builds and builds, each second more frenzied than the last.

And then — silence.

The curtains pull back in a single, deliberate motion. A shadow steps forward, the spotlight blazing down. Gasps ripple through the crowd, mingling with the roar of applause.

There, under the blinding lights, in the center of the storm, stands you. The moment belongs to you.

What do you feel as you read this? Most of us would dream of such a moment, yet, if faced with it, we’d feel a terror that cuts to the bone. Studies, such as the 1973 Bruskin Associates’ findings, show that public speaking is the most common fear, even surpassing the fear of death. There’s something about being in the spotlight that unnerves us, despite the delusion that the world revolves around us. Ironic, isn’t it?

In 2003, I lived that irony.

As I stepped onto the podium to present my talk, I felt the nerves. No, “nerves” doesn’t quite capture it — I felt my heart pounding like a Ganesh Visarjan drum, my legs trembling as if they were preparing to flee. I was sure my breakfast was plotting a daring escape.

I couldn’t wait to get off the stage when, suddenly, a voice, the voice of my mentor, boomed from the back of the room. For a moment, I thought I’d lost my hearing, but then the words pierced through the noise:

“That’s your home. That’s where you belong. Own your spot, own it, dammit.”

Those words stayed with me. They didn’t just change the way I viewed public speaking — they changed the way I viewed life.

We are shaped by the meanings we derive from our experiences. And those meanings are often influenced by the environments we grow up in. If you’re raised to believe in keeping your head low, not “tooting your own horn,” and avoiding too much happiness lest it invites misfortune, you begin to shrink yourself. You become a guest in your own existence.

You start seeking permission, validation, and inspiration from others.

You hesitate, procrastinate, and alienate yourself.

Life begins to feel like a meaningless sequence of events, occasionally interrupted by fleeting moments of joy when others approve of you. For the rest of the time, you stifle your voice, adjusting and adapting to fit a mold, losing touch with who you really are.

In one of Joe Rogan’s podcasts, filmmaker Guy Ritchie said: “Be the hero of your kingdom.”

But what does that mean? How do we embody this idea in our daily lives? How does it manifest as a fundamental way of being? How does it reshape our self-image or our view of the world? Who do we become when we fully embrace this idea?

These were some questions in my mind when I started thinking about this idea.

After hours and hours of thinking and mulling over this, reading on this, and reflecting back on my own life, this is what I figured.

To be the hero of your story is to take ownership of your narrative. It means rejecting passivity and becoming the central character in your life. Every interaction, every challenge, becomes part of your hero’s journey.

Once you accept that you are the hero of your story, you start experiencing life as the central character. Every interaction you have with someone is actually an interaction others are getting to have with the protagonist of the story, which is You. You become the focal point and every experience is emanating from your existence.

You experience life no more as a passive character, watching others take the center stage. You become the light that’s projecting the reality around you.

Imagine a Batman movie without Batman. There’s no Joker, no Harvey Dent, no Commissioner Gordon. Without Batman, the story doesn’t exist. Similarly, in your life, you are the focal point. Remove yourself from the equation, and the story loses its essence.

When you live through others’ realities — worrying about their perceptions, seeking their approval — you lose sight of your own. You sacrifice your voice and agency to align with someone else’s narrative. You worry about how someone might be offended by what you have done, do they agree with your thoughts and beliefs, and if they don’t, should you express or keep your idea to yourself. As a result, you start to second guess and eventually sacrifice your unique voice and agency, in a vain attempt to align yourself to others’ reality, thus causing a loss of individuality.

And in doing so, you suffer the greatest loss of all: the loss of the unique being you were meant to be.

Ah! What a terrible loss! The loss of that unique being that God meant you to be. Its as if the delicate thread that once tethered your soul to the divine has unravelled, leaving you adrift in a vast, unending ocean. The voice that once whispered your purpose now fades into a distance, leaving you with a deafening silence and a haunting void that echoes with unfulfilled potential.

As Joseph Campbell wrote, “A hero is someone who has given his or her life to something bigger than oneself.”

To be the hero of your story means to embrace responsibility for your life’s direction. It is about rejecting passivity and victimhood, and instead, viewing yourself as the central agent of change and growth in your life. Heroes are not defined by perfection; rather, they are marked by their resilience, courage, and willingness to face their fears. And most of all, its about accepting, appreciating, and reveling in your own individuality, your uniqueness. Own your story, own your spot!!

And when you find yourself feeling adrift, pause and reflect: In the story of your life, are you truly stepping into the role of the hero, or are you simply reacting to the direction set by others? Are you leading the narrative, or have you relegated yourself to a supporting role? This honest introspection can reveal what needs to shift in how you approach your life and choices

So, ask yourself: In the story of your life, are you the hero, or are you merely a supporting character in someone else’s tale?

Choose your answer carefully. It might just change everything.