You Have No Words...

The news is raging, spreading like a wildfire—simple #43 and RIPs.

Ken Block is on the hearts of so many people all around the world, yet few have words.

I understand.?

I do have words.

Ten years ago, I also stood directly in the center of the impact zone when the news of a terrible accident hit. I know a bit about what to expect.

Those nearest in heart, not proximity, will take the blow the hardest. Some will barely be able to survive the news themselves. For those on this front line, no earthly force has ever hit you with such a crushing blow. Your mind narrows to near nothing. All of your senses vanish. Everything hard around you fades, and you struggle to stay alert. In these same moments, fellow casualties are happening all around you, and you witness those you love receiving the same news, and your heart shatters again—and again—and again. There is no place to hide- it is a violent, destructive storm raging on the inside, and you cannot shelter from it— nor can any person or anything help you.

You are barely conscious yet fully awake. The world turns backward, and your mind cannot comprehend. Hours and hours later, you fear falling asleep, but you will— in total exhaustion, and then wake thinking- "Whoa, what a dream!" In seconds you realize that it wasn't a dream at all. This will repeat itself for the first few days.?

You will hear people around you endlessly sobbing and moaning, and days later, you will realize that it was you that you heard crying like that.?

These are dark, dark days.

People show up from every part of the country, and they, too, will say nothing at all. Not for a while anyway, until they can muster up the courage to say something like, "I'm so very sorry," or "I am sorry for your loss." They will give you a hug, and they will walk away. Dozens and dozens of people will be standing in line behind them, and they will say the very same thing, nearly precisely word-for-word. "I am sorry." "It's just so terrible." "It's just so horrible." Some will never utter a single word. This rarely changes.

If you are on the 2nd and 3rd ring of the emotional impact, your experience is quite different. You are very familiar to the family and best friends, yet not buried by the full enormity of the grief. There is some brilliant design in that —because you will feel an overwhelming sense of duty to get there immediately and comfort those pulled into the undertow. You have a keen sensitivity to the loss yet retain enough life to give love back to those the news has utterly destroyed. Only this group can comfort family and friends— they cannot receive the same level of comfort from anyone else. They will trust only those of you in this circle to manage the endless harrowing details. It is an enormous task, even amidst your own deep sorrow. No matter where you are, show up.

In the midst of it all, miraculous things will occur.?

1.) Those closest will report visions. You will know they are not liars, for who would lie at a time like this? You will know then that something supernatural is happening. You will see or hear something "odd," "ironic," "co-incidental," or "miraculous" yourself. Others will report the same. God is pressing into the world, keen for you to notice, yet never enough to break the veil. Pay attention.

2.) Time becomes irrelevant. Days will pass, and you will find that nothing will be missed in your own life—when yesterday it felt like you didn't have an hour to spare, you now have 24 hours a day to be right where you are. This will go on for days.

3.) You will come to know that words have meaning beyond what you previously understood. When you hear a person wailing for the first time- you will realize that you thought you knew what that word meant; now, you become aware that you did not know the weight of that one word. And you wish you did not know. As you begin to think on these things, this will happen with other words like "horrible," "terrible," and most keenly, "irreplaceable," "eternal" and "love." You then realize that this is true of?all?words, and throughout your life, you have understood very little, if anything, ever. You may now wonder, "where do words come from?" Who is the author of language that they understood beyond what we could fathom?" You now will appreciate words, for they are all you have to convey your adoration, your admiration, your sorrow. You cannot craft a memory to Ken Block without them.

4.) Your mind will be tormented by all of the circumstances surrounding this tragedy. You will replay recent and past events over, and over, and over, as your mind attempts to make sense of such an inconceivable outcome. You will have regrets—whether real or imagined—which you can do nothing about.?Forgive yourself.

5.)You will feel powerless– and you are exactly right this time. You will quite naturally call out to God—as only He will comfort any of you. If you are in great despair, you will do this regardless of your belief in Him. Be on your watch then, for He will show himself in the immediate moments to those buried by the pain, but it will be brief, perhaps vague and fleeting. Do not forget the things you see or hear, for this is all you have to carry you through the rest of the impossible days ahead.?And they are impossible days.

6.) You will learn that God's timing is not ours. Another impossible thing then— how do you face all the rest of your days under this weight which you cannot bear even for a single moment? You will not receive your answer. This will underscore the reality that we are all powerless in the face of such things.??

7.) Your comfort arrives when you become fully aware that God is who He says He is- and His promise is real. Therefore the one you love is not, in fact, "gone" at all— only just ahead of you. The full weight of this understanding ebbs and flows as you are pulled back under—time and time again—by the dark and terrible storm which rages (at first countable in years, and decades later stills gusts).

8.) You must Believe. It is the greatest act of free will, and only this will set you free. It is the truth. There is no other way.

9.) Some will think you have gone mad then from grief. You will take pity on them, for you know they do not yet understand even as it quickens in their direction.?

Ken Block and I have many, many friends and colleagues in common, although we did not know each other.

I know this. He was a free man, which is why you loved him so.

He is freer still and evermore.

Count on it.

I have been through the storm.

For as it is written...

John 1:1–3: “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things were made through him, and without him was not any thing made that was made.”