If You Have a Problem, Call Me

I recently read a quote taken from Christian Bale’s Twitter account that really resonated with me—so much that I felt like it warranted an entire article. Bale said: “If you have a problem call me. If you don’t have my number, that means you don’t know me well enough to have a problem.”

 There’s a lot to unpack here. But basically, the gist of what he’s saying is that if you don’t know someone well enough to know their phone number and have the ability to call them to have a direct conversation about something you’re taking issue with about them, then you clearly don’t know them well enough to be criticizing from a place of any real context.

 Several things jump out to me with this, all of which deal with what healthy communication and healthy relationships look like on a real-world scale. Bale does not mince words and is clearly not afraid of ruffling any feathers in making his bold statement. But it rings true on so many levels.

 Let’s think about it using a hypothetical scenario, one which I would wager Bale himself has encountered far too many times for his liking. You are interviewed by a reporter, or are overheard speaking to a close friend, and your words are taken out of context, then splashed over all sorts of media. What inevitably ensues after that? Immediate (and reactionary) comments from a group of critics.

 I’d wager 99.9% of these people commenting (okay, criticizing) so freely (and perhaps even caustically), have never even spoken to you personally, and also haven’t even taken the time to research the context of what they overheard or read before voicing their two-cents on the matter.

 Here is where Bale is calling out the elephant in the room, providing a gut check for us all in accountability and proper etiquette (may I dare even say simple common decency). Those commenting do not know you—do not know you on a level where they can properly judge your intentions or really anything about the matter. Knowing the phone number of someone, which Bale is alluding to, represents the fact that you are on an intimate level with them. You have established a relationship that is close enough for the sharing of those details. Anyone else, their commentary could only be seen as conjecture, with zero real context most of the time.

 But the takeaways don’t stop there, as Bale’s quote goes further, shedding light on the healthy way to approach a conflict if you do indeed have someone’s number (read: come into conflict/disagreement/take issue with a close friend). Bale is straightforward in adopting a no drama, no bullsh*t approach—declaring that if you have a problem, and you know that person, you take your concerns and/or grievances straight to the source.

 Call me, he says. Talk to that person directly about the problem, rather than childishly (and cowardly) resorting to social media slamming, through slander, gossiping behind turned backs, or any other similarly shameful behavior that was best left behind on grade school playgrounds.

 Bale is calling for better self-awareness from us and the ability to know when (and if/how) to resolve issues in an adult, no-bullsh*t way. Ice Cube had an infamous rap lyric that cautioned: “Chickity-check yo self before you wreck yo self” I think Bale would agree, but I can’t know for sure—I don’t have his number.