You have more control than you think

I was really privileged this week to join over a hundred business leaders in Jersey for the inspirational and thought provoking Leaders in Wellbeing Summit organised by the energetic and wise Beverley Le Cuirot.

The summit brought together a broad range of speakers from across the UK sharing words of wisdom about personal and professional wellbeing, resilience and cultural change and it was one of those events that really recharges your belief in humanity as well as your hope that there is a better way to balance your life.

Often when I attend conferences and summits I think of the ideas and concepts as 'thought bubbles'. Spheres of inspiration that for a while I can look at and mull over and eventually burst and the wisdom soaks in to permeate my thinking. This summit was full of thought bubbles!

Some of the key ones that are currently bouncing around my brain are:

• Intergenerational teams are bringing new challenges to workplace culture.
• Thriving is a conscious choice and how we choose to invest is our decision.
• Kindness is an undervalued aspect of leadership.
• You have more control than you think.

So let me expand a little on what's swirling around in these bubbles from some of the speakers.

Eugene Farrell, AXA PPP's Mental Health Lead, talked about the evolving landscape of employee assistance programmes and the increasing utilisation of digital technology in supporting people experiencing mental health issues. From chatbots to big data analysis and scanning software the world is changing rapidly. But for me the biggest take-home was around the very different narratives in different generations of employees on how they access support, utilise it and expect it to be delivered. The stark contrast between baby boomers and millennials in their relationships to technology is so fundamentally different that the way that services are provided need to be prepared to accommodate two almost polar opposite 'social norms' for access and utilisation over the next 20-30yrs. This transition period will create significant challenges for providers of wellbeing services as well as opportunities and there has to be a core concept to ensure that the acceleration to the future doesn't leave some people in need behind.....

The second thought bubble - Thriving is a conscious choice and how we choose to invest is our decision - came out as a common theme from four different talks given by Emma J. Bell of the Global Resilience Project, Dr Amina Aitsi-Selmi of Next Generation Coaching, Dr Glenda Rivoallan of Soulgenic and the frank reality of Aiden Kearney of Malleable Mind. All of these in different ways spoke about individuals who had chosen to thrive despite some significant challenges, these ranged from global stories to personal narratives, but across them was a common theme that there is a conscious choice when facing challenge - knocked down seven times, but get up eight. Many of us were moved by the personal authentic sharing from speakers, as well as the recognition that our own individual experience of challenge is deeply personal while at the same time recognising that we all have the potential to overcome quite mind-shattering events.

Part of these conversations highlighted that our brain has a series of built in ways to respond to stress and challenge and we can make conscious choices to overcoming the 'primitive survival response' and connect more of this response with the 'higher brain'. Take decisions and actions ahead of times of challenge and crisis can lay the foundations to finding a better response and whether this is mindfulness, physical activity, regular sleep or healthier eating. Making conscious choices about how to invest your time and energy underpins how you response to challenge and whether you choose to thrive.

Kindness is the core of the third thought bubble from the summit. Gay Haskins, from Said Business School, has just written a book about Kindness in leadership and her talk really made me reflect on how little we value kindness in leaders. Despite centuries of tactical leadership and spiritual writing highlighting kindness as a core aspect, yet it isn't something that is taught in MBAs or discussed in appraisals. Some of the participants shared examples of how they had used gratitude exercises, like thank you card giving, as a way of introducing kindness into the workplace, but there was still a big gap waiting to be filled and I think it will something I will mull for a while while I read Gay's book.

The final bubble came from my own presentation where I had been asked by Beverley to talk about managing stress at the top. In preparing my slides I had reflected both on my own experiences of highs and lows through my leadership career and what actions had helped and the thought bubble that emerged was that I, and you, have more control than we think. Too often we externalise and rationalise the reasons for becoming overwhelmed with stress and anxiety and it is easy to loose connection with the small, but essential, things that we can control - bed time, eating three meals a day, saying no - and loosing that connection to control exacerbates the issue even more. So the bubble that emerged that is currently floating around for me is 'You have more control than you think'.

Sadly I had to duck out of the summit earlier than expected and there were many more exciting speakers that I know continued these themes and expanded and explored them in their own way.

I hope that in sharing these thought bubbles some of them might float into your own pondering and you can reflect on them and let them burst, because when it comes to you - you really do have more control than you think.