Will you have the confidence to cross this line?

Welcome to The Confident Negotiator! I'm so glad you are here.

Last time, we talked about your line in the sand, your "Non-Negotiables", or as reader Francisca de Zwager calls it, her line of justice. This is a line you won't cross, where you are not willing to compromise. A successful negotiation for you is one that doesn't cross your line in the sand.

Today, I want to talk about another line. The line you need to cross.

Imagine that line. In front of you.

You know what that line is. What it represents.

The line you haven’t dared to cross.?

To the dream you never dared to articulate.

The line where you haven’t said what you wanted to say. What was important to say.?

The line where you haven’t stood for something, even when you believed – with every fiber in your being – that it was true.

The line beyond what others told you was too much to ask for, but you knew was still even less than your worth. Your real value.?

You know what that line is. You know exactly where it is.?

Even when you can’t see it. Don’t see it. Won’t see it.

How much does it cost you??

To hold back. To compromise on what you want.?

To not say what needs to be said.?

To not ask for what you’re worth, what you deserve, what you have earned.?

When I became a lawyer, I thought I wouldn’t pay those costs.?

I thought I had gained power and influence. That’s what the show “LA Law” taught me.?

Yet. It did cost me.?

In my first job, it almost cost me $12,000. After 18 months on that job I learned a man hired at the same time as me and two other women was paid $8,000 more than we were.?

For one reason only.?

He asked and we didn’t.?

The mystery why he negotiated when we didn’t??

There is no mystery.?

All that training in girlhood and womanhood.?

To be polite, not brag, “don’t get too big for your britches”, take care of other’s feelings, be a good team player, “don’t rock the boat baby”.?

And a single moment of someone saying “that’s the best we can do” is enough to stop us in our tracks. That’s a good girl.

Argghhhh!

I don’t want this anymore. For me, for you, for any woman. Like Michelle.

When Michelle called me, she was 45 with two girls in college and a retired husband. Up to that point in her life as a leader in the tech industry, she negotiated great deals for her company, but never herself. She simply never asked. Often Enough. For enough.?

She knew it was time to step up, to cross that line. She was determined to move up the ladder and into the C-Suite at last, and accelerate her earning power.?

We worked to amplify her ask through multiple job offers. By crystalizing her vision, her most important goals, values and optimal outcomes.?

She found accountability in our work that grounded her vision deep into the earth like the mighty willow tree, with the flexion to bend into creative solutions that met her needs and their needs.

Holding firm to this core vision, Michelle "amplified her ask" far beyond where she had ever gone before.?

She asked for more – 30% more – not once but twice. She stood firm in the heat of the fiery moment, for the first time in her life. And she won something that day.?

Michelle won that acceleration to the C-Suite. She negotiated 20% over the offer, and more than doubled her salary.?

More valuable than all of that, Michelle won confidence and belief in herself. That she can do it again.

And that, as they say, is Priceless!

I invite you to take one step today, to cross that line.?

It needs to be crossed.?

I invite you to negotiate what it means to have your dream, to amplify your ask, and go get what you want.

Confidence is won through action, fuelled by your mindset, thoughts, beliefs, strengths and skills.

Are you willing to become a Confident Negotiator?

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I want to let you in on a secret. A lot of them, actually. You see, I am working on my next book - which will be the first in The Confident Negotiator series of books. (This is so secret, even I didn't know about the series until it just popped out in this moment as I was writing!)

This first book is all about 21 secrets to negotiating a raise or promotion. I will be sharing some of the chapters to this newsletter along the way, and I would love to read your comments, ideas, suggestions and stories. I promise to get your permission to quote anything you share in the book.

Will you join me?

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P.S. Would you like support to get results like Michelle's? Let's talk. https://bookachatwithcarrie.com