If You Hate Your Job, Read This

Dear Liz,

It hit me over the weekend that I've stayed too long at my job -- like a year to two years too long. For all that time I've been vaguely aware that the job wasn't right for me, but you know how it is -- inertia is powerful.

I talked about job-hunting, but I never actually started job-hunting. Now I realize that was a big mistake. I came to my senses this weekend when my boss "Amy" texted me while I had my kids at the movies.

I walked out of the theater and saw Amy's text. It was four o'clock on a Sunday afternoon, but Amy texted "Call me asap." I got the kids home and then I called her. She wanted to talk about some minor edits in a document that isn't even a high priority. I said "Amy, we'll talk tomorrow." I have had that conversation with Amy a hundred times.

Amy is not a bad person but she has no perspective. She has nothing going on in her life except her job. She loves me, but she leans on me way too much. She doesn't make any room for my obligations outside of work.

Amy is part of my problem but in reality, everything about my job bugs me. I'm so over it. I waited too long to job-hunt and now I not only hate my job, but I hate myself for keeping this job so long. What should I do?

Thanks Liz,

Diana

Dear Diana,

Don't despair -- nearly everyone has been in your shoes! First your job starts to bother you a little. Then it really starts to get on your nerves.

Eventually when you wake up in the morning your jaw aches because you ground your teeth all night. Then Sunday nights become a miserable time, because you hate to have to go back to work on Monday. Don't feel alone. We've all been there!

Your first step is to realize that you've been handed a gift. When it hits you that you're in the wrong job, you may feel bad about having stayed so long. You may feel angry at your boss and angry at yourself. Don't waste your precious emotional energy being angry with anyone. You've had a big awakening. It's a good thing, not a bad thing! You realize that Mother Nature or whoever is in charge is nudging you back on your path. That's wonderful!

You haven't stayed too long at your lousy job. You stayed for exactly the right amount of time. Our Buddhist friends say that nothing is wasted. You will use everything you've learned at a later date. You have been tolerating a lot of nonsense at work, but now you know you'll never tolerate those working conditions again.

It's time to move on, but you don't have to panic and act quickly. You can take your time. Your first task is to decide what you want to do next.

Do you want to find another job?

Do you want to go into business by yourself, perhaps by launching an independent consulting business?

Do you want to do something else, like go back to school?

Think about your long-term plans and of course, about your short-term needs. Most people have bills to pay. Figure out what you need in terms of expenses and consider as many possible courses of action as you can.

The worst thing to do when you realize you hate your job is to jump too fast -- out of the frying pan and straight into the fire!

Proceed slowly with your career reinvention project. You hate your job but Amy loves you. There's no need to act precipitously and it can only help you to take your reinvention process one step at a time.

Once you have an idea of what you want to do next, you can begin to make a plan for your escape.

Maybe you'll connect with an amazing recruiter and get a much better job.

Maybe you'll start your own consulting business and provide your services to several clients at once, instead of just one employer.

Maybe you'll take your path in a wildly different direction. Who knows!

We are rooting for you, whatever you decide! Keep in mind that having withstood a bad job for several years doesn't make you less powerful. It makes you more powerful!

All the best,

Liz

Liz Ryan's book Reinvention Roadmap: Break the Rules to Get the Job You Want and Career You Deserve is available here (on Amazon) and wherever books are sold!

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