If you hate someone, you get defeated

When you hate and won’t forgive, you drink the poison and expect the other person to die. Having said that, hate is often the first stage of forgiveness. After all if strong negative emotions aren’t evoked in us, there’s nothing to forgive right? Sometimes we have to go through a lot of grief before we get to a point where we learn how to let things go. Forgiveness isn’t excusing someone else’s bad behavior. It’s just letting go of the poison that comes with blaming someone else for hurting you.

That’s a false perception. People don’t do anything to us we don’t allow them to do. You decide to hate, you choose to hold on to resentment. The other person doesn’t make those choices for you. They do what they do and you choose how you’re going to respond. I’m not saying your natural reaction won’t be to feel pain in certain situations but what you choose to do with it is. You can carry it with you for decades or you can drop it on the curb to the left and move on.

When you make everything a competition then you suffer the agony of defeat. When you make everything a learning experience, you enjoy the victory of having a new understanding about your life. That’s a much more important and less petty perception about life. Stay in your lane. Don’t worry about what so and so is doing and if you’ve beaten them. That kind of satisfaction is very short lived, while learning extremely important, spiritual lessons lead you to longer lasting “real” fulfillment.

I hated someone to the deepest core of my heart, knowing very well it was wrong and it would poison my soul. I kept my distance from this guy but my, it took me about 10 years to get over the revulsion. Though I did not try to harm him in any way, the very mention of his name would make my blood boil. I know I can never be friends with this person but I never spoke ill of him and when the name cropped up I just tried to be very casual about it. Maybe I’m falling short of magnanimity in my relationships but I can’t help it, though I would like to get rid of this dark side of my personality,

However, I think hate is an undesirable emotion. In fact, looking back, I think I shouldn’t have kept my distance as I did because the only way to get over it is to actually interact with this person as he could’ve changed and we might have got along fine. Just sharing my experience. All is not lost because you hate someone - just don’t do anything crazy……. don’t do anything at all. If you have humility, empathy, kindness, integrity, you don’t need hate in you’re life. If you have humility, empathy, kindness, integrity, you don’t need hate in you’re life.

Accept that people are different. Things happen, we cannot change them. To carry hate with you is to burden yourself with unnecessary stress. Find forgiveness if you can. Take the high road always. Accept that your emotions are your problem. Their emotions are theirs. If you do not have room for them in your life, then what they think and feel about you should not matter. They can throw hate at you, it should wash off you like water. Let them hate. Let them tire themselves with it. Rise above. Accept that people are different. Things happen, we cannot change them. To carry hate with you is to burden yourself with unnecessary stress.

Hating someone doesn't automatically mean you're defeated, but it does mean you are bringing up negative memories from past events. However, hate does result in defeat often because it distracts your focus/ makes you lose yourself in your negativity. If they “have” a person chained up in their basement, yes. But if they just have material objects that they earned money to buy legally, then no. However, I may unfairly hate someone for wasting a ridiculous amount of money on something equally ridiculous.

For example, The hatred that emanates for an individual/group belonging to other religion/ Color/ race/ gender/ ethnicity preferences is the purest and most evil kind of hatred. We can get over it by asking a simple question to ourselves. Are they going to harm me/us in real? You know what to do after you answer this question without any presumptions. Go Apologize. Cheers!