If You HATE Networking...Read This

Many people believe that because they work hard, come in early, stay late, go the extra mile, etc. that they shouldn’t need to network in order to advance. This couldn’t be further from the truth. Simply doing your job tasks with excellence, SHOULD be more than enough to move you forward, but to be honest, it is not. People who believe that this is enough are horrified when their “less than excellent”, but well-connected colleagues receive a promotion over them time and time again.

So what do you do if you are a stellar employee with minimal people skills, and dislike or see no value in networking? I want to urge you to get started building your network NOW before you need it.

Why? As a career consultant, who works with professionals in transition, I meet many people who have waited until they are out of a job to start the networking process, and they struggle unnecessarily. I don’t want that to be you.

What we all know for sure is that change is inevitable; you can bet the farm on it. This means that you do not have a secure job. No one does. It doesn’t matter who you are or at what level you are on. Job security is an illusion.

To everything there is a season.          (Eccl 3:1)

I notice that the people that keep active networks, generally breeze right into their next (job) opportunity because they planted seeds early. The ones that don’t, struggle much longer than necessary.

So what can you do if you are currently employed, but hate the idea of networking? Let’s start with a few “baby” steps to get you bonding with your regular circle of co-workers. I don’t want you to tackle outside networking functions with complete strangers if you are uncomfortable with the people you see every day. We’ll call the following six steps “Pre-Networking” tips to get you started:

1. See the word “networking” in a different light. Redefine it for yourself if you must. Just know that networking is all about building and nurturing relationships. Strive to understand the value and power of this from the vantage point of giver.
2. Have faith in your ability. Start your day with a prayer request to help you with this. You’ll be amazed at the opportunities that will begin to come your way to get out of your shell. Exercise the courage and faith to stretch yourself in this way. Everyone has to start somewhere, so be gentle with yourself and give yourself time to learn and grow. You can do it.
3. Make others feel special. It may sound ultra cliché, but people do not remember what you said, but they most certainly remember how you made them feel. Think about this. When was the last time someone told YOU thank you for making them feel special, thought of, appreciated, etc.? This serves as a foundation for relationship building. Who do you know that you can do something special for today?

Challenge: Whose birthday, work anniversary, etc. is coming up at work this week? Go to their cube/office and SAY “Happy Birthday” or “Happy Anniversary”. If they are not in your vicinity, call them. If they don’t answer, leave a voicemail message. As a last resort, send a text or email message.

I used to work with a colleague who has a gift for remembering everyone’s birthday. Even though we don’t work together anymore, he STILL remembers and calls me every year on my special day. What a guy! Now notice the perception….it is quite likely that he is not thinking of me the other 364 days of the year, but my perception is that he at least cares enough to never forget my special day. And if he ever calls me for anything (leads, referrals, endorsements, connections, etc.), guess who will run through fire to assist him? Me.

4.  Use the power of WATER and COFFEE. When I worked in corporate, I was “queen water cooler girl” for sure. I’ve read so many books that give hanging out at the water cooler a bad rap, but I vehemently disagree. Although I naturally love people and have a genuine interest in them, I always saw spending a few extra minutes around the water cooler as critical to my job success. Why? Because I intuitively knew that getting my job done depended upon others helping me, and me helping others. Therefore, to me, water cooler talk was not wasting time, but an investment in my co-workers, and vice versa. Who wants to help someone they don’t know, like, and who never interacts? Nobody.

If you come in early every day, head down, working hard, don’t engage or speak to others, avoid people in the hallway, always eat lunch at your desk, work constantly with your door closed, get frustrated when people interrupt you to ask a question, you may be a FOCUSED employee who is dedicated to excellence. But over time, the PERCEPTION of you may be “focused employee, but unapproachable, not a team player, with zero people skills.” And when you inevitably need a favor from a coworker, you will be last on the priority list. No one is an island. Truth is, when looking for people to promote, most people want someone who has a mix of hard work and decent people skills and they ASK OTHER PEOPLE what their perception of you is at work. Don’t leave this to chance. This goes back to point number three. How do people feel around you? Do they feel valued or dismissed? Make sure you are in balance.

 Challenge: Force yourself to get coffee/water in the snack area during the “busy” time Monday morning. Choose one person you don’t know well to engage with. Ask “How was the weekend?” LISTEN to the answer. Do they mention family, their hobby, a new movie, work, the game, etc.? Make yourself remember one key point about their answer. This is a clue to what he/she personally values. You will be asked the same. Engage! Next week, when you see him/her in the snack area, hallway, etc., follow up by asking, “What did you do with the family this past weekend? Last weekend, you all were pretty busy with little league tournaments. Did you ride your motorcycle again? Last weekend you said you had a blast. What movie is next on your list? I know you mentioned you saw ___ last weekend. Did you work again this weekend? What are you working on now? What’s going on with your basketball team? They got spanked by the CAVS this past weekend!”

5. SPEAK TO PEOPLE. Sounds overly simplistic, right? Yes, say “hi”, “bye”, “have a great weekend”, “have a good evening”, “be careful, it’s raining”, etc. I am simply amazed at the number of people that do not speak to one another. How do you get on an elevator with one other person inside and not say “hello”? This is unbelievable to me, but I see it so often. Even if the other person’s head is down looking at the phone, say “hi” anyway. He/she may be shy and uncomfortable networking too. Make the first move. If the person does not answer, you tried, which is what this is about. Sometimes, I’ll wait until the elevator is full and just randomly yell, “SO HOW IS EVERYONE DOING TODAY?” This scares people, (but is hilarious to me) and serves a “trance buster”. No one expects to be spoken to, but it definitely breaks the ice in the mornings. As a bonus, the next time any of these people see me, they generally speak first. Lol!

Challenge: Say hello FIRST to five people when you enter your workplace in the morning. This could be the security guard, people in line waiting for coffee (NOT the Barista…s/he has to speak to you), people inside the elevator, people in the hallways, etc.

6. Send a “thank you” email to a co-worker and “cc” his/her boss. If you notice that one of your colleagues has gone the extra mile to help you out of a jam, teach you something new, stayed late helping you, etc., do not hesitate to give that person a “shout out” and “cc” their boss. Nothing builds relationships like letting people know you appreciate them.

Understand this…the people you work with are going to be in their positions for a finite amount of time. So are you. Some will quit, be let go, get promoted, start their own companies, inherit a fortune, need consulting advice, etc. YOU NEVER KNOW. Really, you don’t. These people will land somewhere and you just may be in a position to need their help. You may be talking to your next boss at the water cooler when you remember their daughter had a recital on Saturday and ask how it went. It’s those little things that make an impact over time. And people want to work with people they know and LIKE. These tiny steps open the door for you to get to know others and for them to see that you are so much more than your excel spreadsheets and fancy charts!

Training your mind to engage with others in these simple ways are the beginning of learning to network. In a future post, we will expand upon your budding skills and learn to “network” outside of your department. Eventually, we will work our way up to outside networking events, but for now, bloom where you are planted.

Email me with questions, concerns, success stories or challenges at [email protected]. I would love to engage with you!

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DAWN MITCHELL is an author, speaker, and entrepreneur with a passion for inspiring professionals in need of spiritual support with workplace challenges. As founder of The Corporate Couch, her vision is to give companies the tools and resources needed to create an empowered global workforce through coaching, consulting, and inspirational seminars. She is also co-author of the award-winning anthology “Shift” and author of “Light After a Layoff: Seven Spiritual Keys to Strengthen Resilience in the Midst of A Job Loss, Career Transition, or Professional Setback” to be released September 2016. Sign up here to receive updates from The Corporate Couch. Follow Dawn on Twitter @corporatecouch and on Facebook.