If You Hate Networking, You May Be Doing It Wrong

I’m always on the lookout for articles about networking. Here are a few snippets:

We’ve been conditioned to think of networking as a business tool. But what if it’s less about growing business and more about building friendships?

For a number of years, I’ve been part of a business group of women who get together for dinner regularly. We talk shop during these gatherings, but really the point is networking. I was focused on meeting people who could become my clients.

When the group resumed meeting after the pandemic, I just couldn’t muster the enthusiasm. There’s nothing worse than talking with someone you think likes you only to find out they want something from you—except for being on the other end of that equation, which I find downright exhausting.

So I started going to the dinners with the mindset of not getting anything out of it other than meeting people I like—and in that moment everything shifted. I met three women I instantly connected with, including one who’s brought me to other networking events and connected me with actual potential clients. Not because I asked her, but because she likes me.

Many agency owners, leaders and business development people limit networking to those who are direct prospects. I used to do this, too. But it creates this awful dynamic where even if you like someone you’re trying to get work from, they sense what you’re after, and it makes you both uncomfortable. Neither of you are coming from a place of confidence or authenticity.

We’ve all been conditioned to think of networking as transactional—as a means to an end—but what if it’s not? What if networking is less like working and more like connecting? I can say that my life is so much richer now that I’ve started skipping the “ask” part of networking, but I’ve benefited just as much professionally.

Building A Supportive Web

I attend plenty of so-called networking events: conferences, industry meetups and business groups. I don’t do it to get something. I do it to meet people. There’s no ask and no awkward sales moment. I can be my authentic self and spend time really getting to know other interesting, successful, engaging people.

I look at it more as connecting—and there are so many ways we can connect. Connecting intellectually with people who share my professional experiences, connecting emotionally with people who share challenges, connecting socially over common interests.

It’s not just that I’m meeting interesting people; I’m introducing them to each other. I’ve found that my connections have started to overlap and grow into a true network, one that feels like a web, a blanket, a safety net. My connections love connecting to one another.

When you think about a network, it really means creating a system where you can find support, help and guidance. It’s an interconnected web, not a series of transactions where you're at the center and you’re just looking for people who can help you. The way that most leaders network doesn’t create a network at all; it creates a bunch of lonely islands because those people we know are disconnected from one another.

It’s Not Business; It’s Personal

One of my most trusted advisors told me that her rule of thumb is to meet one new person a week. I think that’s a good average. Sometimes I’ll meet 20 in a night at a dinner and I’m good for a few weeks. And let’s get over the idea that networking only happens in business situations. Go to local meetups, professional get-togethers, book clubs, sports events—it all counts. If you love sailing, join a sailing group and you’ll run into other career people and eventually start talking about what you do for a living.

I hated going to conferences because it was so transactional. Going with the intention to meet people to pitch work always felt icky. Not long ago, I went to an expo, and someone told me, “You’re the only person who goes to this as a social event.” It seems to be true.

When you project an air of not selling to anyone, you’re more approachable and more confident in yourself because there’s no fear of rejection. When there are no expectations other than liking each other, the connections you make are more natural. And the person on the other side feels it too.

Want to know more? Head on over to the full article here for more ideas and perspectives. Afterwards, why not drop me an email to share your thoughts at robert@businessvaluepartners.com.au; or call me on 0467 749 378.

Thanks,

Robert