ARE YOU HAPPY

This is quite rare question and generally asked by your mother, irrespective of how old you have become – “are you happy my son” and if you are passing through tough times, this question itself brings tears in your eyes. Your voice chokes and you tend to change the topic. In turn, ask you mother, if she was happy and she would say, my happiness lies in your happiness. She would never say that she was not happy.

Well I spoke to my mother and whenever I have told her that I am happy, I could sense her happiness over the phone. And whenever I say there is a lot of work and tensions, she only says, “take care of your health. Time never stops for anyone”.

These emotions are different from others when you say, “hey how are you?” and the person replies, “hey I am fine, how about you?”

What a circumstance. For our happiness we have spent years and years in work, staying away from everyone in the family and friends and when someone asks, “are you happy”, the answer is never affirmative. It is always – “Yaa sort of. A lot of work. Don’t get time for anything.” And then we also justify – “well someone has to work hard in the family to be sufficient. Make rest of the people secure and happy.” True, as the head of the family, you have to make your family secure. But how much is the question?

We are never satisfied with what we have, and our thirst for more and more never ends. We are always running after things. In all these limited number of hours we have to take out time for home, office, children’s tuition, groceries, outings, meetings, discussions, etc.

You would not believe but it is true. It took me 14 years to go for a movie in a cinema hall. The gap stretched from movie Raju Chacha at PVR Priya Cinema in Delhi and Milkha Singh in Udaipur in PVR Cinema. I saw myself running like Milkha Singh without being called flying sikh.  

Sitting in the cinema hall I realised that the experience of watching a movie has so much changed. But unfortunately, my mind was in the office and most of the time on mobile to reply either mails or WhatsApp messages.

Question is again – Am I happy? The reply is No. I am not happy because I do not have time to find happiness. I like being termed as busy person – may be busy without business.

I was travelling with one of the top business tycoons in a charter and realised that in spite of all the money and wealth, he was not happy too. There were few people in the charter and everyone was speaking about the issued and problems the business is facing. One thing I noticed that was common to all was a medicine pouch. Everyone had a set of medicines which they took before the flight departed and during the flight immediately after taking refreshments.

How do you define happiness, is my another question?

Is it a limited smile that somehow comes out of your lips to please your children or wife or boss or someone else?  Or is it that when you laugh so much that your stomach starts paining? I think happiness is when you forget to keep your mobile phone in your hand when you are having lunch or dinner - when you place your legs on the center table while reading newspaper -  when you want to eat your lunch or dinner sitting on the floor - when you wait for your child to narrate what all happened in the school - when you want to have cut-chai in a road side restaurant without bothering about the hygiene - when you watch uninterrupted move or cricket match on your television with the family – when you do not bring office matters in every conversation - and finally and most importantly when you hear your wife speaking about how the maids have harassed her. If you are doing all these things, you are a happy person.

Since we are not happy, our family is also not happy and every other person who is genuinely associated with us is also not happy.

A wise man said, you cannot buy happiness with money, you can only buy material things. True. Happiness is not materialistic thing, its emotional. It does not deal with mind; it deals with heart.

I often say, let us eat less but let us be happy. Let us be content with what we have and if that is sufficient for us. In the race to get more and more, let us ensure that we are not ticking the time faster. The time in life is limited and if we are moving fast, it is bound to end soon.

Comfort is important but getting happiness through comfort is another matter. It is like having a blood pressure medicine while sitting in a Limousine or Merc.

One day decide to be content with what you have and not go for any additions. Make the life simpler and some how get spare time in a day. Just do it for few months and you would see the year would seem longer – 365 days, day would have 24 hours and a week would have 7 days. You will have time to spend. Not spent to get time.

I am sure no one would like to speak to a picture hanging on the wall, neither you nor anyone from your house.