Are you a "grumpy stayer?"
Emily Worden ??
I help mid-career professionals get better jobs faster | Resume Review | LinkedIn Profile | Personal Branding | Interview Prep | Salary Negotiation | Certified Career Coach helping you find your "Next Act" career ??
Hi?everyone,
Last month I read a great article from Business Insider about “grumpy stayers” - people who feel stuck in their jobs and they can’t leave due to inertia, lack of skills, or lack of job opportunities. The article talks about two types of people: Those who are in new roles that aren’t all they hoped for, and people who have been spinning in the same dead-end job for years. It’s a great article, and I wanted to respond with my own suggestions about how to stop being a “grumpy stayer.”?
Lack of initiative
“Grumpy stayers” feel a sense of inertia. They feel stuck and depressed, but unable to see what to do next or how to even begin. They might look at a few job postings … Figure they aren’t qualified for any of the jobs … Feel down about their prospects … And decide that staying at a job they hate is just easier.?
Unfortunately, “grumpy staying” is all too common when we feel stuck in jobs we hate and stuck at a crossroads about what to do next. And we feel like everyone around us is getting better jobs for better pay, and we’re wondering what we’re doing wrong. As the article astutely puts it, “Grumpy stayers might be feeling left behind, with salaries lagging behind those of their peers who've departed.” Ouch, that never feels good.
I am a mental fitness coach as well as a career coach. And a big part of feeling great about yourself is the feeling of momentum - steady progress towards your goals.?
But if you feel stuck or helpless, inertia and ennui set in, and those are hard to shake. Then you feel zero progress towards your goals, which only enhances the inertia and ennui.?
But if you can get a vision of what you want, and make a clear plan with small steps that get you closer to your goal - that’s how you break out of inertia. That’s how you eliminate ennui.?
And let’s talk about what you do want - and “just another job” doesn’t count.?
Instead, get a clear vision of what you really want - the type of job that makes you get out of bed and excited to get to work. Yes, those really do exist, and you can have that too. First, you need a clear vision of what you want - I’m talking specific job titles and ideal companies - then you need a plan to get there (because you CAN get there!).?
You are not helpless. You might feel stuck, but you can get unstuck.?
First, if you haven’t already requested my “10 Steps to Kick Your Career in Gear” doc, please do so. I’ve got loads of actionable tips to kickstart your journey.?
Next, check out my new Find Your New Career Course which takes you step-by-step, resource-by-resource, to help you find your new career.
Lack of skills
When we’re “grumpy stayers,” there’s usually a big dose of self-doubt and imposter syndrome going on too. We casually post through the job boards, read the job descriptions, and think, “Who would hire me?” “I’m not qualified for these jobs” “What if I hate the new job as much as this one?”
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I’ve got a few things to say about this:
Lack of opportunities
The article says “Grumpy stayers are in some ways the next iteration of quiet quitters, rattled by layoffs and fewer opportunities.”
It hurts me to read about people staying in jobs they hate. It’s such a mental and physical toll and affects every area of your life.
But, there are plenty of industries still hiring, as I wrote about in the June jobs report (June Jobs Report! Spoiler Alert: It's Good” from July 11, 2023). And I bet you have transferable skills that would allow you to work in a new industry that IS hiring, such as hospitality, healthcare, construction, trade, education, government, and business services.?
Here’s a line that stood out from the "grumpy stayers" article: "I'm pretty much stuck here doing this work now … I was talking to an acquaintance of mine who's a recruiter, and he's telling me summer is the slow time. There are no jobs."
It’s true, summer is a slow hiring season - because many people are out of the office - but there is still plenty you can do now to prepare yourself for the busy hiring season that kicks back up in September when people are back in the office.?
You can make a list of companies that interest you ... Build your network and connections at these companies ... Work on your LinkedIn profile to match the types of jobs you want ... Update your resume with keywords from your dream job ... And take some courses that will give you the skills employers are looking for.?
Plus, you can create your own opportunities at work. This article talked about employees’ desire for their employers to provide training or promote their own employees from within. I liked this line: "Grumpiness often means feeling undervalued." Oh, I don’t want you feeling undervalued! Or grumpy!?
You must be your own advocate:?
Whew! I know this message was a doozy, and thanks for sticking with it. I hope you found some inspiration and tips for your own career journey. If you have a friend who is a "grumpy stayer," please forward this newsletter along to them. And if you feel like a “grumpy stayer,” make a free 30-minute appointment and tell me all about it.?
To your success,
- Emily?