Are you a "grumpy stayer?"

Hi?everyone,

Last month I read a great article from Business Insider about “grumpy stayers” - people who feel stuck in their jobs and they can’t leave due to inertia, lack of skills, or lack of job opportunities. The article talks about two types of people: Those who are in new roles that aren’t all they hoped for, and people who have been spinning in the same dead-end job for years. It’s a great article, and I wanted to respond with my own suggestions about how to stop being a “grumpy stayer.”?

Lack of initiative

“Grumpy stayers” feel a sense of inertia. They feel stuck and depressed, but unable to see what to do next or how to even begin. They might look at a few job postings … Figure they aren’t qualified for any of the jobs … Feel down about their prospects … And decide that staying at a job they hate is just easier.?

Unfortunately, “grumpy staying” is all too common when we feel stuck in jobs we hate and stuck at a crossroads about what to do next. And we feel like everyone around us is getting better jobs for better pay, and we’re wondering what we’re doing wrong. As the article astutely puts it, “Grumpy stayers might be feeling left behind, with salaries lagging behind those of their peers who've departed.” Ouch, that never feels good.

I am a mental fitness coach as well as a career coach. And a big part of feeling great about yourself is the feeling of momentum - steady progress towards your goals.?

But if you feel stuck or helpless, inertia and ennui set in, and those are hard to shake. Then you feel zero progress towards your goals, which only enhances the inertia and ennui.?

But if you can get a vision of what you want, and make a clear plan with small steps that get you closer to your goal - that’s how you break out of inertia. That’s how you eliminate ennui.?

And let’s talk about what you do want - and “just another job” doesn’t count.?

Instead, get a clear vision of what you really want - the type of job that makes you get out of bed and excited to get to work. Yes, those really do exist, and you can have that too. First, you need a clear vision of what you want - I’m talking specific job titles and ideal companies - then you need a plan to get there (because you CAN get there!).?

You are not helpless. You might feel stuck, but you can get unstuck.?

First, if you haven’t already requested my “10 Steps to Kick Your Career in Gear” doc, please do so. I’ve got loads of actionable tips to kickstart your journey.?

Next, check out my new Find Your New Career Course which takes you step-by-step, resource-by-resource, to help you find your new career.

Lack of skills

When we’re “grumpy stayers,” there’s usually a big dose of self-doubt and imposter syndrome going on too. We casually post through the job boards, read the job descriptions, and think, “Who would hire me?” “I’m not qualified for these jobs” “What if I hate the new job as much as this one?”

I’ve got a few things to say about this:

1. Apply when you’re 50% “qualified.” Most job seekers hold themselves back from great opportunities because they don’t check off every item in the job requirement list. Stop that! Apply the 50% rule: You can apply to jobs if you’re 50% qualified. Here’s the deal - companies would rather hire someone who has the basic skills with room to grow, who wants to stay with the company long-term, and most importantly - fit in well with the team. If you’re that person - then apply for the job, regardless if you don’t check off every item on the list.
2. This leads me to my next point - companies are getting ridiculous with their job descriptions - they’re asking for more degrees, certifications, and skills than ever before. They’re looking for unicorns who don’t exist. They are concerned about finding the “right” person, so they add all these filters and unrealistic expectations. But let me tell you, 99% of the applicants won’t have all the required skills either. So if you believe you can do the job, and you’ve got 50% of the skills on the list, go ahead and apply.?
3. The “grumpy stayer” article quotes one worker who said, "I can't find anything that pays more — or even what I'm making — that doesn't require me to be certified or have a degree in something that I don't." I hear that, and as I just mentioned, there are ways around it. But if you feel you really need a degree or certification to leap into your next job - go get one! There are loads of free or low-cost courses online. Even better - find a course and ask your employer to pay for it (we’ll talk about that more in a moment.) My new course, Find Your New Career, also has an extensive lesson about how to upskill for free or with minimal costs.?
4. Finally, if you’re worried that you might hate your new job as much as your current one, there are plenty of ways to research a company before you work there. You can research the reputation with some online searching, using websites like Glassdoor. And my new course, Find Your New Career, has an entire module about how to research companies that align with your own values, interests, and skills to ensure you are in a job that fuels you.

Lack of opportunities

The article says “Grumpy stayers are in some ways the next iteration of quiet quitters, rattled by layoffs and fewer opportunities.”

It hurts me to read about people staying in jobs they hate. It’s such a mental and physical toll and affects every area of your life.

But, there are plenty of industries still hiring, as I wrote about in the June jobs report (June Jobs Report! Spoiler Alert: It's Good” from July 11, 2023). And I bet you have transferable skills that would allow you to work in a new industry that IS hiring, such as hospitality, healthcare, construction, trade, education, government, and business services.?

Here’s a line that stood out from the "grumpy stayers" article: "I'm pretty much stuck here doing this work now … I was talking to an acquaintance of mine who's a recruiter, and he's telling me summer is the slow time. There are no jobs."

It’s true, summer is a slow hiring season - because many people are out of the office - but there is still plenty you can do now to prepare yourself for the busy hiring season that kicks back up in September when people are back in the office.?

You can make a list of companies that interest you ... Build your network and connections at these companies ... Work on your LinkedIn profile to match the types of jobs you want ... Update your resume with keywords from your dream job ... And take some courses that will give you the skills employers are looking for.?

Plus, you can create your own opportunities at work. This article talked about employees’ desire for their employers to provide training or promote their own employees from within. I liked this line: "Grumpiness often means feeling undervalued." Oh, I don’t want you feeling undervalued! Or grumpy!?

You must be your own advocate:?

1. Look for a course to upskill and ask your employer to pay for it. You’d be surprised how many employers are willing to invest in their employees, especially if you are learning skills that would make you better at your job, thus making the company more efficient or more profitable.?
2. Take on different projects at work or participate in teams you normally wouldn’t. I’m not asking you to double your workload but be open and willing to flex your skills and professional presence in projects or teams that you would normally avoid.?
3. Likewise, show initiative at work. Identify chronic problems that plague your company or industry and offer real, actionable solutions. These could be internal problems - perhaps the company can do something more efficiently - or these could be external problems - perhaps the company could reach out to customers differently. Identify areas where the company could improve (such as making more money or saving more time), then tell your management team about it.?
4. Tell your boss that you’d like to advance within the company. Have a conversation with them - What does it look like? What do they need to see to make it happen??
5. Get specific KPIs, metrics, and achievements, ideally in writing. (Even if you just sum up the meeting in an email and say, “As we discussed, I need to accomplish x,y, and z to get promoted to manager. I will accomplish these items over the next six months with the intent to move into management early next year.”)?
6. Finally, you must be your own cheerleader and create your own opportunities. You have to regularly communicate with your boss and your team about your skills, what you can offer, and what you want to do. Otherwise, how will they know? Also, don’t just assume people are noticing your achievements or initiatives or extra hours on the job. Make sure your work and contributions are noted and valued. And keep track of all of this, and write down all your accomplishments on the job so that you can update your resume and LinkedIn accordingly.?

Whew! I know this message was a doozy, and thanks for sticking with it. I hope you found some inspiration and tips for your own career journey. If you have a friend who is a "grumpy stayer," please forward this newsletter along to them. And if you feel like a “grumpy stayer,” make a free 30-minute appointment and tell me all about it.?

To your success,

- Emily?