Are you a Giver or Taker?

Is the word composed by Givers and Takers only?

One of my companies sends people abroad to learn languages or to study higher education programmes all around the world, which gives me the opportunity of dealing with a lot of people from different ages, nationalities, social class, cultures, beliefs, etc... And with time you start to observe their behavior and where their behavior brings them to, after a few years.

And who succeeds the most? THE GIVERS OR THE TAKERS!?

A lot of us would think that being a Giver is worse than being a Taker, but in reality both givers and takers can experience suffering, albeit in different ways. Givers can suffer from overextending themselves and neglecting their own well-being, while takers can suffer from a lack of authentic connections and meaningful relationships. Givers probably suffer from burnout, exhaustion, or resentment if their giving is not reciprocated or appreciated. They may neglect their own needs and well-being in favor of constantly giving to others, leading to physical, emotional, or psychological strain. Over time, this can erode their sense of self-worth and lead to feelings of being taken advantage of.

Takers probably suffer from shallow relationships, lack of genuine connection, or a sense of emptiness despite acquiring material or social resources. Constantly taking without considering the needs or feelings of others can lead to feelings of guilt, isolation, or dissatisfaction. Takers may struggle to form meaningful bonds with others if they are perceived as self-centered or inconsiderate.

Finding a balance between giving and taking, along with practicing empathy, gratitude, and healthy boundaries, can help mitigate suffering for both parties involved, but what would be between them?

Between "takers" and "givers," there exists a spectrum of behaviors and attitudes that can be categorized as "reciprocators", "balancers", "Moderators", Boundary-setters", "Empathetic Communicators" and "Collaborators"

Reciprocators: These individuals engage in mutual exchanges where they both give and take in balanced proportions. They understand the importance of reciprocity in relationships and strive to maintain a fair balance between giving and receiving. Like a friend who always offers to help you move and, in return, you help them with their projects when they need it. Here there's a mutual understanding of giving and receiving support.

Balancers: These individuals are conscious of maintaining equilibrium in their relationships. They may adjust their giving and taking based on the dynamics of the relationship and the needs of the other person. Balancers strive for harmony and fairness in their interactions. It could?be for example a couple who takes turns planning date nights based on each other's interests and preferences, ensuring that both partners feel valued and appreciated.

Moderates: Some individuals may exhibit characteristics of both giving and taking depending on the context. They might lean more towards being givers in some situations and takers in others, but overall, they aim to strike a reasonable balance. A?coworker who sometimes takes the lead on projects but also steps back to let others take charge when it's appropriate, depending on the team's needs and strengths.

Boundary-setters: These individuals are clear about their own needs and boundaries while also being considerate of others'. They set boundaries to protect themselves from being taken advantage of while still being open to giving and receiving within healthy limits. When a family member, who kindly but firmly declines invitations to social events when they need time alone to recharge, prioritizes their mental well-being while still maintaining relationships.

Empathetic Communicators: These individuals excel in communication and understanding others' perspectives. They actively listen and respond empathetically, ensuring that both parties feel heard and valued. They navigate between giving and taking by fostering understanding and compromise. Imagine a friend who listens attentively and offers support without judgment when you're going through a tough time, demonstrating empathy and understanding in their communication.

Collaborators: They focus on cooperation and teamwork, recognizing that the success of any relationship or endeavor relies on mutual support and contribution. They work together with others to achieve common goals, sharing responsibilities and rewards. For example a group of classmates who work together on a group project, leveraging each other's strengths and ideas to achieve a common goal and produce high-quality work.

The good news is that most of the time we will identify with two or more?categories or exhibit traits from multiple categories depending on the situation, context, or phase of life you're in.

?THE BIG QUESTION IS: Which one (ones) are you now?

Thank you?

With Love Gabi!