Are You Ghosting Yourself?

Hi! My name is Parissa. This is "Modern Badass: A Field Guide", where?Modern Badasses?can feel seen, understood and valued. And, it's also a place for others to crack the code on the Modern Badasses in their lives (and maybe learn some badassery themselves). Want this in your inbox 2x/month? Hit the “subscribe” button above!

If we're honest, we'll admit that we've either ghosted someone or been ghosted by someone. If we're really honest, we'll all admit that we've both ghosted and been ghosted.

Ghosting happens in both personal and professional relationships. And, while it can be hurtful when someone ghosts us, it's nowhere near as damaging as when we ghost ourselves.

Yes, we do that.

You may be thinking that it's not possible to cut communication with ourselves. Sure it is. When we aren't clearly communicating what is important to us to those on the outside, it means we've never declared it for ourselves on the inside or worse, that we've refused to be honest with ourselves about what is important. Essentially, we go dark on ourselves.

Are you aware of how you may be ghosting yourself? It happens when you:

• kick the can and defer making a decision that you know will be life-changing;
• pretend that something isn't as bad as it is;
• pretend that something is better than it is;
• invent arbitrary conditions that need to materialize before you can start or stop doing something;
• blame others;
• don't ask for input or help;
• choose the comfort of your Zone of Excellence over the edginess of your Zone of Genius;
• ignore your intuition; and
• et cetera.

Ghosting yourself is like setting fire to money.

No, I'm not being dramatic. When you cut yourself off from yourself, you're cutting off access to opportunity and possibility. You stifle your own creativity.

It's not only money you set fire to, it's also your own happiness. And no, I'm not being dramatic about that either. What's the cost for you to not be fully you?

The cost isn't only to yourself but to everyone around you, too. What gifts to society do we not benefit from when you make the choice to disconnect? What other opportunity or possibility do people not identify because you weren't there to have the first "Eureka!" moment?

How do we stop doing that?

Glad you asked! Here is an approach you can try which involves taking a stroll down memory lane. I know, it seems simplistic and please humor me.

Think of instances where you were not fully engaged in a project, were bored or maybe felt out of sorts. Ask yourself:

1. What were the circumstances?
2. What was driving the lack of interest, boredom, ennui, fidgety feeling, disconnection, etc.?
3. Where was the potential misalignment with who you are, your values and what you'd like to accomplish but weren't?
4. Why intuitive or physical clues did you have that you may not have noticed or ignored?
5. What was the cost to you (and maybe to others) for being in a situation that didn't really feel like you?
6. What could you do differently going forward?

You'll start to notice some patterns when you go a few rounds of this exercise. The cumulative cost of ghosting yourself over time will be more than evident to you.

Ready to stop ghosting?

I'm kicking off?Inconceivable Influence, a Modern Badass mastermind, in September. I'm inviting you to join the folks who've already enrolled.

It's natural to be curious and to want to learn more. Below is a glimpse of what you'll experience.

Book time?and I'll share more with you 1:1. Also, you can hop on over to my YouTube channel and see recordings of recent LinkedIn Lives (here and here) that also give a glimpse of the experience.

If you're wondering...

...where you might be on the Modern Badass curve, I've got you. Take the?quiz?and get instant results plus insights you can apply right away. Find out how you possess Modern Badass?traits?and crack the code to highlight your brilliance!

Also, hit the subscribe button above and:

1. Book time?to speak 1:1 with me.
2. Get the?book! It's available on Amazon and on?Audible!
3. Subscribe to the Sixense Strategy?YouTube Channel?where I share past sessions of?Badass Bytes, my livestream, and the?LinkedIn Video Series.
4. Sign Up?for my monthly newsletter.

Not ghosting you,

Parissa

P.S. I'd love to work with you, Badass.?Book time?to talk about?Inconceivable Influence?or any of the following options that may intrigue you.

1. What?Sparks?You??Let's talk if you're ready to channel your edge and power. but you're unsure as to how to start. Let's have a conversation so that we can identify your blocks and get you back on the badassery road.
2. What's Your?Vision??I'll design a Sixense Vision a half-day workshop?just for you. We'll talk about your past, and your present to design a strategy to craft your future. It also includes a?Hogan Assessment?and debrief.
3. Make Your?Next?Bold Move.?Retain me as your advisor and coach. My Modern Badass clients love working with me 1:1 because I am an objective thinking partner and strategist who champions (and challenges) them as they create their futures. I don't hold anything back and I speak truth to power with power.