You Are Getting It Wrong! ????Why & How We Misjudge Success and What Truly Matters

Below is an excerpt of the Seeds for Growth & Joy [S4GJ] issue originally published on 9 May 2024. Subscribe to get the next issues directly in your mailbox: https://eepurl.com/gk2M0b. On average, it only goes out once every 3-4 weeks. Enjoy it :)

You'd think no one but you can really know what truly matters most for you, what you value the most in life in search of that sense of happiness and success, right?

Many of us live our lives based on other people’s expectations and their definition of what success and happiness are. While your friends, family and colleagues will certainly not be better placed to help you (not unless they’ve already gone ‘the extra mile’ to think for themselves), even when we are self-conscious enough and we are mindful about creating our own measure of personal and professional success, the fact is that we often just get it wrong, very wrong... :(

Research in psychology has shown that?we often misjudge what truly contributes to our well-being and sense of fulfilment.?While we may believe that material possessions, wealth, or status are paramount for our happiness, scientific evidence indicates otherwise.

Studies consistently show that subjective well-being is more strongly correlated with factors like strong social connections, meaningful relationships, and a sense of purpose or autonomy (check about the PERMA-V model here). However, these factors are often undervalued or overlooked in our decision-making processes. For example, we might prioritize earning more money or pursuing prestigious careers over spending quality time with loved ones or engaging in activities that align with our values.

“… well-being is more strongly correlated with factors like strong social connections, meaningful relationships, and a sense of purpose or autonomy. However, these factors are often undervalued or overlooked in our decision-making processes.”

This discrepancy between what we believe matters for our well-being and what actually does can be attributed to various cognitive biases and societal/cultural influences.

One such bias is the "hedonic treadmill" phenomenon [...]

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If these barriers and complications apply to anyone, expats are definitely in for a double challenge, having to deal with expectations weaving across multiple cultural contexts and their respective ?success benchmarks.

Read the full article here!

But there are good news too.

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If you need some support figuring it out and making sure your life is duly aligned with your career, just get in contact ;)

Coming up

InterNations, online

NEW ‘not-Coaches Corner’ ;)

InterNations’ former Coaches Corner is continuing, now without the label ‘Coaches Corner’. As always it’s a space for sharing and reflecting on specific topics around personal development, facilitated by professional coaches.

For the coming months, I am happy to be a Guest Coach in the following ones:

• 21 May: “How to Improve Emotional Intelligence?” (To Be Confirmed)
• 13 August: “How to Overcome Limiting Beliefs?”

Now once per month, on a Tuesday, at 18:30-20:00 CE(S)T. Mark your agenda now, so you don’t forget! The link for each session is published on InterNations’ website generally 1-2 weeks before the event.

[...Full list of events available for subscribers...]

11 June 2024, 19:00-20:30, Online Workshop

Putting Success and Happiness Together: A Recipe for Expats Feeling Stuck

[...]

25 June 2024, Utrecht, Conference “The future is now: Generation Alpha”

Generation Alpha and Well-being

[...]

27 June 2024, online

For ACCESS-Netherlands Patrons only (incl. ESA, Telespazio, TU Delft and Worley’s staff & partners)

Redefining Success and Reviewing Self-Beliefs after Relocation to a New Country

[...]

12 July 2024, online

PWN-Netherlands, Lunch & Learn session

Upgrading your definition of success to include well-being (Title tbc)

A video-for-thought…

Source: Daniel Simon’s YouTube channel (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IGQmdoK_ZfY)

This Issue’s Challenges

Try to answer each of the 4 questions below:

• Can you consciously describe to another person what is your definition of success?
• How do you measure it (your progress towards it)?
• Where do you think your definition comes from?
• Is it still useful to you today?

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See you next time.