Are You Getting "Ghosted"?

I've always looked at?job hunting like dating

It’s nerve racking, exciting and you never know how it’s gonna go.

Usually on the first date you have some idea of what to expect, unless it’s a blind date.

If you met online you have some profile information and a picture or 2. ?

LinkedIn

If you were introduced by a friend, they may have shared a picture, but even if they didn’t they gave you some idea of looks, personality and maybe some good qualities and even some “heads up”, just so you know stuff. ?

Recruiters + resume + experience summary + personal attributes

But no matter how much pre-date info you get, you won’t know until you meet and spend at least a few minutes engaging in discovery

First impressions are a thing.?Appearing to be interested is a thing.?If you end up actually interested, then you’ll likely schedule a second date

2nd interview

If not then “it’s not you it’s me”

Feedback or “ghosting”

If you get that second date, maybe you’ll meet her friends for extra validation

Team members/colleagues/boss

Sometime after that you exchange a commitment to “see each other” again for an extended period of time or you call it a day

Offer or “we’ve decided to go another way” or “ghosted”

If you get the offer, you now have a great responsibility and a big decision needs to be made.?Most people struggle here.?It’s pressure and it’s important.?For both parties

If it’s “we’ve decided to go another way”, the best you can hope for is some helpful feedback so you can learn and improve

I want to talk about this concept of ghosting

Too many people appear to be getting ghosted in their opportunity searches

Why is this?

What I have observed, not just lately, but for my whole career, is that all parties in the search process are encouraging this behavior, usually without intention

It's easy to blame organizations, internal HR, hiring authorities...whatever

And they are certainly partially to blame. ?

Let’s face it if you get ghosted after a first date the ghosting party is either a dick or a bitch.?We’re human.?We rightfully feel entitled at least to closure with some humanity

But why would you go back for more? In the dating world you wouldn’t

In the professional world we do it all the time.

It seems to me that if you see an online description with no picture or name attached and you reach out with a piece of paper without a human attached to it (resume), you’re inviting the other party to ignore or dismiss you.

It’s no different than the people online who routinely treat you disrespectfully in their comments to your posts, but would never say the same thing to your face. ?

They’re called cowards

When you put yourself in a process where there is no accountability, people won’t be accountable.?We see it in politics every day

In my opinion, candidates and recruiters who ghost or get ghosted have brought that on themselves

You can either encourage ghosting by throwing yourself into an unaccountable process or you can find a better way

As a recruiter I always wanted a direct relationship with the hiring authority.?This way I could get both parties to put skin in the game

This doesn’t mean everything works out or goes my way.?It means when it doesn’t, I get to know why.?I get real feedback.?I get to improve

As a candidate, I want to get in front of decision makers.?Not HR.?Certainly not a blind resume submission to a nameless faceless portal

As a candidate, if I use a recruiter, I’m going to establish a relationship of trust and set very specific expectations about next steps and rules of behavior.?If I can't agree on the rules, the recruiter doesn't get my resume. Most candidates don’t do this.

If you go on a date and you even hint of desperation, you’re done.?Desperation has a unique stink to it.?Like the difference between the sweat you produce from working out versus the sweat that comes from fear

What is not desperate about bending over for the “traditional” hiring process, getting ghosted 200 times and sending out 200 more resumes

The definition of insanity…

I understand the motivation behind this behavior, but in what other area of your life would you allow yourself to be treated this way and go back for more…hundreds of times?

At the very least, I ask you to reflect on this message and spend some time figuring out a better way.?Step back from your dating game and think about a better approach.?An approach with at least a hint of humanity and accountability

As soon as you make human contact on the phone you get some humanity, and more often than not, you get some accountability too.

If you meet face to face, some becomes more.

This is what I do.?I help people find a better way.

Here are three options if you’d like my help or want to learn more about me before we connect.?Once you click each link, the path forward will be obvious

Keep your head up.?This too shall pass and there are better ways

If you want to chat about what has you stuck professionally, that's what I do.?Grab a slot on my calendar ?and let's see if/how I can help

If you're struggling with your job search and having trouble getting in front of decision makers, you may want to check out my workbook?"How To Get In Front Of Decision Makers"

My good friend Jim and I have a podcast we have fun with called?"The Imperfect Mens Club Podcast" . We talk about our life and business experiences and have a few laughs