You Will Get Your Arse Kicked!

Let’s face it, there are many aspects of leadership that are just not enjoyable! I feel given my passion for ‘sustaining change’ that more needs to be more written about the aspects of leadership that are not popular.

Politicians experience it

• That media interview that resulted in media annihilation and public opinion

Celebrities experience it

• That movie that did not meet the box office expectations and rife judgment from the movie critics

Musicians experience it

• That song that did not reach number#1 and on mass criticism from the so called ‘fans’

Prominent CEO’s experience it

• That decision you made that did not meet popular opinion so you became the target

Entrepreneurs experience it

• That day when you have reached critical mass and more haters show up as a result of profile tipping

I’ve experienced it

• That day when your untainted reputation is annihilated overnight

If you are not in the arena getting your arse kicked then I am NOT interested in your feedback – Brene Brown.  If you are not familiar with Brene Browns work then I highly recommend you take the time to check her out. Her first Ted Talk video went viral and she is now in high demand in Fortune 500 companies around the world, taking the message of Vulnerability and Shame into corporate establishments. Her Ted Talk entitled ‘Why The Critics Aren’t The Ones Who Count’, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8-JXOnFOXQk is a must watch for every leader. Leadership is the domain of ‘judgment, criticism & assessment’. The more comfortable you get with embracing the nuances of confrontation in your leadership position rather than resisting it, the more you will evolve in your leadership capability.

I know what it takes to not only show up in the arena. I also know what it takes to SUSTAIN showing up in the arena AND in my vocation I teach others to do whatever they need to do to get into the arena. So in light of this, 3 themes resonated for me in my own leadership experience from watching this Ted Talk. 

(1) One thing you can be guaranteed if you show up in the arena, you will get your arse kicked

Expect to get your arse kicked, it’s part of being in the arena. Confrontation/resistance and uncomfortability are the three emotions most human beings avoid but if change/transformation is your game you need to go looking to form a new relationship with these three emotions for they are the corner stone to experiencing true transformation! To do this you have to embrace ‘resistance’ instead of avoiding it!

(2) We lose our connection when we are defined by what people think!

In leadership connection is primary, it may not be something that is commonly discussed in the ranks of traditional leadership teachings but it is THE single most important aspect of being empowered as a leader. Connected to your message, connected to your people, connected to your vision, connected to doing what it takes every day, connected to your belief, our values, our purpose, connected to your own source, connected to achieving the best for yourself and your people, the list goes on…never lose your connection by being pre-occupied by what others think! After all they are going to think it anyway! You have NO control over what others think, you can only live true to your values (that way you can sleep well at night) regardless of what is transpiring!

But what I’ve learnt is this: If you are not in the arena getting your arse kicked I am not interested in your feedback, period.

Sometimes in leadership we have a tendency to be impacted by what others think. What I love about what Brene states above, given what it takes to be in the arena, only listen to those who knows what it takes to be in the arena, for they are getting their arse kicked too, you might be able to find some common ground, if they are not, their feedback is not of value, period!

(3) So to the critics, I see you, I hear you, but I am going to show up anyway

Just LOVE this…it takes something to be a leader but it takes something even more to sustain showing up as a leader in the face of adversity. The more adversity you experience the more powerful you will be in your leadership capability for you of all people know what it takes to stay the distance. Embrace the internal and external critic’s, use them as your allies, not your enemy!

And from someone who has been experienced online character assassination, extreme defamation of character, death threats online, media/racist attack, plagiarising of my education, public scrutinization, you can survive, heal/recalibrate, forgive, rebuild, reinvent, learn and come back to serve and pay forward your knowledge to new levels. 

If you are being judged right now in your leadership position know this: If you know the judgment of you is incongruent to who you know yourself to be, and you are living true to your values, then although you may be the target, it’s not about you, remain silent, have compassion for where others chose to operate, and champion on…those who live in the arena know that the only advice worth listening to is from their fellow counterparts who too live in the arena!

Take 20 minutes out of your day and listen to Brene Brown’s Ted Talk….it will make a difference for you today.

An article that you might find of interest: https://www.huffingtonpost.ca/ryan-pannell/character-assassination_b_6017046.html#:~:text=Don't%20fight%20back.,do%2C%20whatever%20that%20may%20be.