To be Heard and Understood is to be Highly Valued

You are worthy of being heard and understood. Don't let anyone tell you differently.

My longest career mentor was my first one. He had been working on a global scale for over 20 years when I joined as a new hire. I was an office assistant for his boss, VP of Procurement.

I documented the minutes when the VP and his leadership team had meetings. I was the only female in the room. It seemed odd to me since I had grown up with my mom as a strong female leader in the community and her workplace. Surely, other companies knew the value of diversity on leadership teams, right?

As time went on, I studied the dynamics of the men around the leadership table. I watched how they communicated their thoughts with each other, which type of words they used, who commanded the room, the different presentation styles, and how they debated critical problems with millions of dollars tied to them. I noticed a consistent theme.

While others would frequently speak over each other to get their opinions in fast and early during the discussions, one person did not. Many raised their voices or talked faster when enthusiastic about a topic, one person did not.

I wondered why this one man’s technique was so different. He usually waited to speak last in the meetings. If he did not speak up on his own in the end, the VP would call him out by name and ask for his opinion or ideas. This made me curious as to why. Was he shy? Not confident among his peers? Nervous by the heated debates? Other?

This man would consistently wait until everyone else spoke before he did. The room typically fell silent, then he would speak. The others would listen intently and not interrupt. His questions would be thought-provoking leaving others in the room to ponder for a bit before responding. He fostered an environment where his problem-solving advice was frequently adopted by the team. He would tie in what other team members said and add his own perspective while giving multiple alternatives and one solid recommendation for the team to act on at the end explaining the cost/benefit of the recommendation and how it would impact the financial bottom line. The buy-in by the team members seemed to fall into place easily each time.

After watching it happen over and over, I was curious enough to ask him one day why he consistently spoke at the end since I noticed it helped the meeting progress to the point of problem resolution each time. His response was pure gold.

He said he wanted to make sure everyone else had a chance to be heard and understood before he presented his own thoughts. He placed value on his peers first. He showed them respect by allowing them to all get their opportunity to speak before he did. In doing so, he also gained knowledge on how better to craft his message and ideas to incorporate the concerns others had too.

I saw the power of words and became mesmerized. I noticed how the choice of words along with how they were spoken could bring a team together towards one unified goal or immediately split them apart in a toxic way. Even a lack of words or words with certain body language during key times delivered a powerful message on its own.

I vowed early on in my career that I would master communications and team dynamics. Why?

"...to be heard and understood..." Those words from my career mentor hit me deeply. I saw firsthand proof of how it brought people together successfully repeatedly, how it showed respect for others and how they were valued. I wanted the people I interacted with to know I valued them.

I used those words as a foundation in my career. I learned how to build healthy working and inclusive cultures around the globe across all levels of an organization from the shop floor up to the C-suite. It started and continues today by valuing people for who they are authentically at their core and making sure I create spaces where people are heard and understood. I carry those skills with me wherever I go. It’s how I live my life.

Can career mentors have a positive impact? Absolutely. The ripple effect has lasted over twenty years from my first one alone. I carry my learnings forward with the mentoring I do and in my leadership roles within the workplace and community. Each one, reach one. That’s how positive change happens.

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Who has been a great mentor for you along your career path? Tag them or say their name in the Comments to recognize them. I’ll list mine too.

Who are you mentoring today??Tag them or mention them below. Sharing our knowledge with others is how we continue the circle.

Need help developing a mentoring program for your organization? I’ve developed local to global mentorship programs and would be happy to help. Let’s talk!