Are you Finding Your ‘Happy’ – Or Doing Your Duty?
Steven N. Adjei
I support leaders to succeed beyond pain. Award-winning pharmacist| Author of the #1 international best-seller Pay The Price | UK Business Awards Judge | High Street Enthusiast | Business Strategist and Mentor
Feel the wind in your hair
Feel the rush way up here…
We’re walking the wire, love
We’re walking the wire, love,?
Oh, the storm is raging against us now
If you’re afraid of falling, then don’t look down
We’re walking the wire……
This is my good friend Rob Scott. Rob is a brilliant entrepreneur and CEO of City Cycle Couriers, a multi-award-winning delivery service operating in the Southwest of England. As a bicycle-based delivery service, City Cycle Couriers delivers mail to thousands of homes cheaply, efficiently, speedily and in densely congested areas, whilst being sustainable and demonstrating its real green credentials.?
Just yesterday, I had to call on him to deliver some vital life-saving medicines to one of my patients, with the blistering cold. It was windy and rainy and horrible, but he still did it with a wide grin on his face. He did it in half the time it took my traditional delivery driver.?
But there is also something different about Rob. He loves cycling. He regularly sponsors cycle races, is an award-winning semi-professional cyclist in his own right and has won races across the country. Cycling is his passion.?
He is doing his duty, and he has found his happy. All in the same breath, whilst making good money in the process. Cycling is his full-time job; Cycling is his full-time passion.?
Happiness. Passion.?
These are two words that we hear about all the time.
We are urged to ‘leave our comfort zone and ‘follow our passion’ and ‘do want you want if it harms no one and makes you happy'
But there is one word that was once alive, kicking, but we rarely hear it nowadays.?
Duty.?
In our quest to follow our dreams, to pursue that ethereal feeling of happiness, the word duty has largely been set aside.?
But doing your duty was a proud word used by our parents and grandparents who bravely and stoically fought for our freedom in the first and second world wars.?
But for many of us, unlike Rob, our passions and our duties sometimes directly contradict and collide with each other, and we must walk a fine line to balance both.?
I love writing, reading, speaking and all things business.?
But as a husband and father, it is my duty to make sure my family are well looked after. That I am not a ghost in my home. That I take care of my ailing parents. If I am not careful, the two can collide. And which comes off worse? My family, of course.?
If I follow my passion, but neglect my duty, eventually, both my passion (writing and speaking and structuring deals) and my duty (looking after my family) will both suffer, and I will leave a bad legacy. It is the legacy of the Profligate – as I describe in my book Pay The Price.?
And another thing I’ve learned? Following your passion leads to having to do your duty.?
As NF, my favourite hip-hop singer says:?
‘’First, I dropped the record, now you know I gotta tour it’’
Last week, one of my childhood friends in Ghana called me in distress. She was a single mother with a young daughter who was struggling to make ends meet. Her ex had abandoned her and his child and she had no means to pay the bills. She spoke about the passion her ex had for her before the child came. Once the fruit and consequence of his passion was birthed, he run a mile.
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He enjoyed the passion but neglected the duty.?
I also have met entrepreneurs that had a passion to build businesses. However, once they followed that passion, inevitably, duties beckoned. Taxes to pay. Employees to look after. Laws to follow. That passion had now become a duty.?
And we forget, particularly us immigrants and entrepreneurs and some youngsters who have broken out to follow their passions, that our parents sometimes had to sacrifice their passion for duty - like my mother, who did back-breaking work at Selfridges for years to help my dad balance the rigours of law school with looking after my late sister and me.?
Or a friend I know who had to sacrifice her passion to become an administrator for a large company because her husband failed to do his duty – doing a runner after their daughter was born, thus resulting in her having to make do with menial jobs to fulfil her duty as a single mother to bring up her child.?
Even more heroic, I feel, are the millions of people who try to balance their passions and duties – ‘’always walking the wire’’ without ‘’spilling the beans’’ -the amazing NHS executive who manages a large facility for very sick patients leaving the hospital – her dream job- but also manages her two young children as a single mother – her life is spent dashing from one appointment to the other – from dentist to desk, from breakfast club to boardroom.?
On the other hand, some get so stuck in their duties, that they fail to take the available steps to follow their passions – the mother who gets lost when her kids leave the house, the CEO that falls into depression when he retires, the wife who refuses to live after her husband dies.?
In my previous article, I spoke of Anju Agarwal, who after being a mother and a teacher for over 3 decades, finally summoned the courage to be an artist and poet and has now become hugely successful.?
And in my book, I speak of the entrepreneur Bernice Atubra, who has now had to balance the duty of looking after her sick husband here in the UK and following her dream – building the school of her dreams in Ghana. She’s had to choose the former, at a great personal cost.?
For some of us, not all the stars align in our favour so that our duties and our passions merge into one big dream as it has for Rob.?
But it does not mean your life has been a failure. Not in the slightest.?
If you can find the space and time to follow your dreams, go for it. But if life has belted you in, you can still find space in your day-to-day duties to live out your passion.?
Like the refugee menial worker who turns her passion for cooking by making videos on TikTok.?
Or the injured young teacher with a young family who turns his passion for football into being a coach for young kids.?
So, where does the tension between ‘’duty’’ and ‘’happy’’ lie for you, and what can you do about it if it’s not finely balanced??
It’s a question I ask myself every day. And every day the answer is different.?
But that’s okay.?
Sometimes I wish I was more like Rob.?
But I’m not, but that’s okay too.?
Three things to share (well, four….)
See you in two weeks on a very controversial topic, and if you haven't purchased or reviewed my book, see links below:..
I'm rooting for you!
Steven.?
https://amzn.eu/d/5OW01ec
https://a.co/d/8JdOpSS
Award-Winning Parent Coach & Speaker | Supporting Ambitious Parents & Organisations to Build Emotional Fitness to Lead with Calm, Confidence & Connection at Home and Work | Featured by BBC, ITV & The Sunday Times
1 年This was such a good read Steven N. Adjei ??
Realtor Associate @ Next Trend Realty LLC | HAR REALTOR, IRS Tax Preparer
1 年Thanks for Sharing.
Proprietor
1 年Absolute joy to read. It is a joy when passion and duty go hand in hand. Duty without passion is just a chore. Steven, you have a fluid way with words. And thanks for the mention and the link to the gofundme page. Ab?ka drika (E?e)??