You feel loved or unloved?

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In This Issue:
Quotes of the Week
Do You Feel Loved or Unloved?
Bookmark - The Art of Thinking Clearly
Inspirational Words
Spiritual Centre
Story Time
Time to Smile
Feedback

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"Change Gears" eZine is a no-cost electronic newsletter dedicated to helping people be more effective and fulfilled--to be masters of change instead of victims of change. What follows are tips, strategies, quotes, resources and shortcuts to getting more done in less time and having fun in the process--to living a more productive and fulfilling life. We're always on the lookout for information to help you live and work more effectively.

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Quotes of the Week

"We become what we think about." - Earl Nightingale

"The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity." - Amelia Earhart

"We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office." - Aesop

"Immaturity can last a lifetime." - Robert Half

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Do You Feel Loved or Unloved?

Do you feel unloved? Do you know what would make you feel loved?

Ask yourself: Who do you feel loved or unloved by? Your partner? Your parents? Your children? Yourself? God?

Feeling Loved or Unloved by Yourself and/or God

What does it mean to feel loved or unloved by yourself?

You will likely feel unloved by yourself when you abandon yourself by:

Ignoring your feelings by staying in your head rather than being present in your body.
Judging yourself, being negative, rather than being kind, caring and compassionate with yourself.
Turning to various addictions to avoid feeling your feelings and taking responsibility for them.
Making others responsible for your feelings, or taking responsibility for others' feelings.
Not speaking up for yourself - allowing yourself to be treated badly by others.
Not taking care of your health by eating badly, not exercising, not getting enough sleep.
Not opening to learning with a spiritual source of love and truth.
Not taking financial and organizational care of yourself.

When you are not loving yourself, you will also feel abandoned by God, and therefore feel unloved by God. And, when you are not loving yourself, you will also likely not feel loved by others, even if they are loving you.

You will feel loved by yourself when you:

Are present with your feelings with an intent to learn about the information they are giving you and you desire to take responsibility for them.
You treat yourself with kindness, gentleness, and compassion.
You think in positive ways.
You do not make others responsible for your feelings nor do you take responsibility for others' feelings.
You speak your truth without blame or judgment.
You take good care of your body/health.
You provide financial and organizational safety for yourself.
You have a devoted spiritual practice.

When you are loving yourself in these ways, you will also feel the love of Spirit within you and all around you.

Feeling Loved or Unloved by Another

You will likely feel unloved by another when:

The other is distant, cold, withdrawn, discounting, negative, disconnected, emotionally unavailable - controlling in any number of covert ways.
The other is angry, blaming, judgmental, mean, attacking, lying, physically violent - controlling in any number of overt ways.
The other is closed to learning with you, refusing to lovingly discuss problems and resolve conflict.
The other shuts you out with TV, Blackberry or iPhone, computer, work, reading, alcohol, pot, and any number of other addictions.
The other is uninterested in you and what you say.
The other doesn't care about how his or her behavior affects you.

Others will also feel unloved by you when you are behaving in the above ways.

You will feel loved when:

The other cares about your feelings and wellbeing, and about the effect his or her behavior has on you. The other cares and attempts to understand when his or her behavior is hurtful to you.
The other is compassionate with you when you are feeling the core feelings of loneliness, heartache, heartbreak, grief, or sorrow - even when it is about his or her behavior.
The other listens to you attentively, connecting with you emotionally.
The other is open to learning with you in conflict and wants your highest good as well as his or her highest good.
The other takes responsibility for his or her own feelings and wellbeing so he or she can come to you with an open heart full of love.

Others will feel loved when you are behaving in the above ways.

If you are feeling unloved, you need to look at how you are not being loving to yourself within yourself and with others. If you consistently feel unloved by a particular person, you need to look at how you might not be taking loving care of yourself when around that person.

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Bookmark - The Art of Thinking Clearly

Author: Rolf Dobelli
Price: INR. 263.00

An international bestseller, The Art of Thinking Clearly is recommended reading for those findings themselves lost amidst their thoughts and indecisiveness. The book has been presented across 99 concise chapters dealing with predicaments of unsound judgment and keys to establishing decisions of paramount importance. The book strings in plenty of anecdotes to evaluate the reasoning of the human mind. Psychological prejudices are questioned and analyzed here, with the consequences of flawed thinking in everyday living being delved into.

The ability to identify and recognize the problem areas in one's life and the sublime desire to efficiently deal with and attack one's weaknesses have been particularly targeted. Managing finances, handling businesses, recognizing objectives and carving fruitful paths to be tread to achieve those in life have received significant attention within this book. The capability of spotting speed retarding elements of life and developing an enhanced capability of avoiding them while pushing through the faced obstacles, have been aspects around which the topics within this book revolve. Published in 2000, the book comes in a paperback version.

Excellent book!

It is an excellent book. The biases listed exist in everyone, and being aware of those will definitely help you think clearly, and also make better decisions.

It is not a book to be read from cover to cover in one go. Each chapter is complete by itself. So the better way is to read one (or a few) chapter and observe when you or others display that bias. Of course the book will help you only if you observe your own biases rather than others' because it is very easy to find fault with others and very difficult to find own faults.

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Inspirational Words

"Only the mediocre are always at their best." - Jean Giraudoux

"Happiness is a butterfly, which when pursued, is always beyond your grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you." - Nathaniel Hawthorne

"Don't be afraid to give up the good to go for the great." - John D. Rockefeller

"Love is a canvas furnished by nature and embroidered by imagination." - Voltaire

"Since when do we have to agree with people to defend them from injustice?" - Lillian Hellman

"The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing." - Walt Disney

"Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference." - Winston Churchill

"The best way to predict the future is to create it." - Peter Drucker

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Spiritual Centre - Real Craving

I would emphasize that Realisation is not at all difficult for those who have real craving for it. If craving is there, he will come on the true path by which Realisation can be achieved in a short time. The real craving of man keeps him in constant restlessness, and he works only to gain his real goal. While so many of us worship God and offer prayer as a routine, it is only to please our senses. In this sphere, mental enjoyment is there, sense enjoyment is there, and they are caught up by so many enjoyments which forbid them from peeping further into the life meant for Realisation.

(C) Shri. P. Rajagopalachari - President, Shri Ram Chandra Mission - https://www.sahajmarg.org

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Story Time - The other side...

24 Year old boy seeing out from the Train's window dhouted, "Dad, look the trees are going behind!".

Dad smiled and a young Couple sitting nearby, looked at the 24 year Old's Childish behaviour with Pity.

Suddenly he again Exclaimed. "Dad look the clouds are running with Us!".

The couple couldn't resist & said to the old Man. "Why don't you take your Son to a good Doctor?"

The Old man smiled & Said. ."I did and we are just coming from the hospital, my son was blind from birth, he just got his eyes today." ?

MORAL : Every Single Person On The Planet Has a Story :') - Don't Judge People Before You Truly Know Them.

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Time to Smile - Life is Like That

Was I going up or going down...?

Three sisters, ages 92, 94, and 96, live together. One night the 96-year-0ld draws a bath. She puts one foot in and pauses. "Was I getting in the tub or out?" she yells.

The 94-year-old hollers back, "I don't know, I'll come up to see." She starts up the stairs and stops. She shouts, "Was I going up or going down?"

The 92-year-old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea, listening to her sisters. She shakes her head and says, "I sure hope I never get that forgetful", and knocks on wood for good measure. Then she yells, "I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door."

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