Are you fed up with all the sh** men?
Lucy Maeve
Professionally successful yet personally unfulfilled? Want to feel empowered, alive and excited about life again? Come, I'll show you how | Trained with Gabor Mate | Ex JP Morgan | Featured in the Telegraph & BBC
A few days ago, I sat in the departure lounge of Durban Airport, waiting for my flight back to Cape Town. I’d spent 3 days hiking in the Drakensberg with Tomas and a few of his friends, soaking in nature's profound and soul-sustaining beauty whilst humbled by my no longer 22-year-old knees.
As I sat waiting for the departure screen to blink ‘go to gate’, my eyes wandered over the sprawling room of passengers.
There were families having breakfast together, a woman having her nails done at one of those airport spas, businessmen rushing through with wheelie suitcases, and a couple slowly meandering through the rows of benchlike seats.
She had her handbag on her shoulder and an enormous tote hung on her left elbow that was so heavy that it made her walk with a bit of a limp. Her partner leant over and suggested he take the bag for her.
She shook her head and said ‘I’m fine, I can carry it’ and limped along beside him, visibly annoyed that he had suggested she needed help.
As I watched the couple, I was shocked that instead of siding with the woman, as I would have a few years ago, my mind whispered ‘What a wonderful man, why is she pushing him away like that?’
For most of my 20s I succumbed to the idea that all men were sh**. I hoovered up every possible narrative that I could that said that men were bad and women were great. I found proof in every man that I met that they were, in fact, out to get us. That they were useless, lazy, incompetent, sex-obsessed idiots.
And the more I searched for that proof, the more life served it up by the bucket load.
Men cheating on their wives. Men purposefully pushing women down at work. Men complaining about how boring their wives were. Men complaining that they didn’t get enough sex. Men learing. Men being exactly what I believed them to be.
And so, I continued to put on my hard shell of hyperindendence that said ‘men are shit, you have to do everything alone’ and carried on with my life.
It was only when I started:
That things started to shift.
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Here is the hard-to-swallow truth, my lovely.
Having worked with a LOT of men in the work I do now, and therefore having had the honour of seeing their inner worlds, I can tell you that:
And until you take responsibility for the shitty beliefs you have absorbed about men, you will continue to see a man trying to help you carry your bag as a sign that ‘he thinks you’re weak’ vs. a beautiful act of love.
You will continue to see sh** in good men (and push them away) and worse than that because you believe all men are sh****, you’ll close yourself off from the potential of beautiful, meaningful, supportive platonic and romantic relationships with men.
One of the most powerful things you can do for yourself if you’re fed up with ‘all the sh** men’ is to start looking at what you are choosing to see in the men in your life and seeing if, perhaps, it’s time to see the beauty instead.
A woman in her power is not a woman who spends her life bitter, closed in a shell of hyper-independence and man hatred.
She's a woman who takes responsibility for what she chooses to see in the people around her and heals what no longer serves.
L x
P.S. I have just opened up a slot for ONE woman to start private coaching work together in the next 2 months - if you're ready to begin TRULY stepping into what it means to be a powerhouse woman, and see your relationships transform in the process... book a call in the link below
P.P.S. If you're a man and you're reading this and thinking daaaamn this woman knows some sh** and I want to work with her... you can also book a call ;)