You Are Enough

You are worthy. You are enough.

April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month.

• According to RAINN, Every 98 seconds an American is sexually assaulted. One in 9 girls and 1 in 53 boys under the age of 18 experience sexual abuse or assault at the hands of an adult (90% of the time it is someone you know and trust).
• 82% of all victims under 18 are female.
• Females ages 16-19 are 4 times more likely than the general population to be victims of rape, attempted rape, or sexual assault.
• Only 20% of female student victims, age 18-24, report to law enforcement.
• Only 32% of non-student females the same age do make a report.

That means we have millions of wounded people walking around feeling less than, broken, damaged, unworthy, undeserving of a good life. Never living up to their potential. Never really living the vibrant, joyful life they were meant to have. Often times the victim suffer long term emotional and social issues. They are depressed or suicidal. Victims often have body images issues and eating disorders. People who have been sexually assaulted are more likely to use drugs, cutting and alcohol as coping tools. Sexual violence also affects victims’ relationships with their family, friends, and co-workers. They have trust and intimacy issues. They have low self-esteem, lack confidence and the ability to focus in school or at work.

Several years ago when I was being interviewed for my book The Creative Activist: Make the World Better, One Person, One Action at a Time the reporter told me his mother told him on her death bed how she had been assaulted and she never told anyone. She didn't think anyone would believe her.

How many of you have felt that way?

I know I never told anyone until I was 21 years old that my grandfather sexually abused me for age 7-13 because who would believe the pillar of the community, a philanthropist could do such a thing. It was my word against his. Plus I felt so ashamed and guilty I had done something. Let me tell you right now. IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. You were a child and you counted on the adults in your life to protect and keep you safe. It doesn't matter what your age, whether you were drunk, you flirted with him, or wore something cute and sexy. THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR VIOLENCE.

Whatever your reason for keeping quiet, fear of reprisals, don't want to get anyone in trouble, fear of losing your home, family, financial resources I beg you to speak out. Find a counselor, a trusted friend to share your story. It will change your life and the world. When we say it only happened once, it wasn't that bad, he had a bad day, he was drunk...we are making excuses to keep ourselves as victims.

Look I know how scary it is. It took me a long time to share my story publicly. I organized an event at my local health club. I invited my sister and my mother who never really heard my story. With knees knocking I talked. Afterwards a young woman came up to me and said” you saved my life” I thought it just happened to me. That is the kind of experience I have wherever I speak. It is a powerful motivator for me to continue to share my story.

What is the conversation you want to be having a year from now, five years from now? You are meant to live a rich, meaningful, joyful and fulfilling life. Be good to yourself. You are worthy. You are enough. Share your experience.

I have interviewed numerous people who have shared their experience. I have put together some of my favorite interviews in package. You will get the interviews and the transcripts. They include Angela Rose who was abducted at gun point and Founder/Executive Director of PAVE: Promoting Awareness, Victim Empowerment PAVE and Anne K , Ream , author and the founder of the Faces and Voices Project and Kathy Barbini, producer of Boys and Men Healing and founder of Big Voice Pictures. Also included are Ellyzabeth Adler Multidisciplinary Artist, Founder/ Executive Director Danztheatre Ensemble: performance with a purpose, Mary Graziano a writer, poet, blogger on child abuse; Amy Oestreicher, TEDx Speaker, Author, Playwright, Actress, Artist and Michael Skinner, Musician, Healing Trauma, Abuse and Mental Health professional. Please contact me if you are interested.Only 19 dollars. https://bit.ly/2p9v8OF