YOU are enough!

Tomorrow, a new decade begins.

When this decade began, I was a very young business professional with huge aspirations and a very limited perspective. I made decisions focused on myself, I bought what I wanted, did what I wanted, and I went where I wanted. Each decision I made was about me and how it served and affected MY life. I wanted to be and to appear “successful.” I thought this would be demonstrated in wealth, respect, and a nice set of wheels, so I pursued those things. I made decisions based on the goals that I had put in place based on what I felt successful looked like, and I allowed those wants and desires to own the focus of my decisions.

Then, within an instant, my entire plan was shattered. Everything I had been shaping and working toward was crushed. After being married 4 months and being the sole provider for my household, my employment was terminated. I had made a horrible, dishonest decision, and in my pride, I refused to own up to it for fear of letting others down. I didn’t want others to know the truth. I didn’t want them to see that I WASN’T successful, that I wasn’t a rising star, that I wasn’t who they thought I was. I didn’t want them to see that I was human.

That event took me to a dark place, and it weighed me down for years. I carried it by myself for a long time, even hiding it from those who loved me the most for fear that they would think less of me – that they’d see me in a different light. My deepest darkest secret, I kept locked inside for over half a decade, and it ate me from the inside out EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. Everyone I knew believed the story that I told. It was believable, reasonable, and I even had documentation to support my claim. But it was simply that – a story. It was a fantasy that I had developed in hopes that it would become my reality. A lie that I had hoped would become my truth. But guess what? It didn’t… because it wasn’t the truth.

When I finally built up the courage to own my failure to those closest to me, to reveal the mess that I was inside, you know what happened? They told me it was ok. My wife loved me, and she forgave me for lying to her for years. She supported me and encouraged me, and she thanked me for being honest with her. My mother also forgave me, and she apologized that I felt like I couldn’t share the truth and that I had to carry it alone. She built me up and supported me, even when I didn’t deserve it. Those people that matter most, they loved and accepted me for who I am, even with the scars and bruises, the asterisks and the checkmarks. They supported and believed in me even though I had failed, even though I wasn’t successful.

As I close out the decade, one in which I’ve experienced more spiritual, personal, and professional growth than ever before, I’m an older business leader, still with great aspirations, but with a much more clear perspective. What I mean by that is that I have greater clarity in WHO I am, WHOSE I am, what my goals TRULY are, and WHY.

Today, I’ll be honest that I still hope to be successful. I don’t want to keep that bottled up inside, as I’ve experienced the toxicity of doing that before. However, with new wrinkles and a few gray hairs come life experience and wisdom. With letdowns and failures come lessons and personal reflection. As a result, my personal definition of what successful looks like is no longer defined by the material goals listed above. Instead, it is defined by the impact that I can have on the world around me, how I can confidently lead people into being a better version of themselves. It is defined by how I can use my story to empower individuals to understand and believe that they are enough. That YOU are enough!

As a selfish 25-year-old in 2010, I sought out personal gain for personal gratification. In 2020, it’s my goal to seek ways to GIVE value to others, in whatever capacity I can. I hope to share in the knowledge, wisdom, hope and experiences that have shaped my perspective. If I’m lucky, I hope to be able to connect with and challenge your worldview, provide tools for self-reflection, encourage you wherever you’re at, and bring value to each of my connections by pursuing selfless and courageous leadership.

I’ve been equipped, and I’m up to the task, so let’s do this! Let’s make 2020 a launch pad for the best decade yet!