You are enough

"Man Enough, undefining masculinity " by Justin Baldoni , a thirty-eight-year-old American actor, director, producer, entrepreneur, married, father of two children, and known for his role, Rafael Solano, in the hit series "Jane, The Virgin."

I recently finished reading the book, and it made me think a lot about one of the sustainable development goals (#SDG ), number 5, gender equality, and empowering women and girls.

In his book, Baldoni talked about his struggles to overcome stereotypes and how he had to deal with the concept of masculinity that society imposed on him for as long as he could remember. The idea of showing vulnerability made him less of a man; he always had to wear armor to fit into that society. And that bullying is a way of showing strength and thus being part of a group; to consistently prove his manhood.

In my Life

As I progressed through this book, I couldn't help to relate it to my own experience; Although we grew up in different societies and countries, I believe that some of my schoolmates were going through the same struggles.

I am sure that this has happened to many - because no matter what society we’ve grown up in and where we lived, the problem of masculine dominance pervades.

Proof of this is the low rate of women working in sectors that were "made" for men, such as mining, energy, and engineering. Nowadays, it is nice to see that this is changing, teenage girls and women are being encouraged and motivated to be who they want to be. To explore what they want to know and have the opportunity to join labor markets that men previously dominated. Such a breakthrough!

This led me to reflect; if I can ask each of you, how would you define a man? Perhaps they would respond as some of my already-married friends with children did:

? Must be a provider: the one who puts food on the table and pay bills (some friends see it that way)

? He must be protective: of his loved ones; A man cannot be vulnerable or talk about his feelings.

? He must be strong: He is a role model for his children, and he should teach them that they must always be brave to get ahead in life.

?Etc.

How do you evaluate these answers? What would you have answered?

Justin Baldoni analyzed the path taken by society to get to the point where we are now.

He not only talks about the marked differences between men and women (gaps that we must reduce quickly) but also talks about how these misconceptions of masculinity have led to social conflicts such as racism (we see it all over the world) and discrimination based on sexual orientation and religion.

Often times we do not realize that we influence someone with our attitudes or mistaken concepts because we have normalized these situations and patterns instilled in us since childhood. They’ve generated discomfort in others and can hurt those who do not deserve it.

The First Time

For example, three years ago I was on a road trip, with two of my dearest friends, and I heard the word “mansplaining” for the first time. This caught my attention, not only because my friend said it out loud and yelled at her husband, who interrupted her to explain a subject she knew more about. But also, because it is a word that is not used in everyday conversation. After listening to her, he understood what he did and said he was unconscious, and that it would not happen again.

For those who are unfamiliar with the meaning, the first time this term went viral was back in 2014 with the book "Men explain things to me" by Rebecca Solnit. The writer compiled experiences, her own and those of others, in which men seek to explain in a manner regarded as condescending or patronizing and teach women on a subject where they are experts. This type of behavior tends to deteriorate relationships and generate frustration.

How many times have we heard expressions like "you drive like a woman,"; "you play like a woman,"; "How sensitive, you’re like a woman!"? These words do nothing more than promote gender violence; Women worldwide have fought and continue to fight for recognition, and expressions detract from the effort and dedication they put into every project they undertake. Imagine what happens if a boy is told, "don't do the laundry, don’t do the dishes, don’t cook; that's for girls" we unconsciously tell them that these menial tasks are not for them. They unintentionally conclude that these simple tasks are not good for them and should be done by women/girls.

All of the Above

And how is it related to SDG 5 ??

If we learn and normalize respect for others, leaving labels aside, we are going to generate a more equitable environment.?

The gap between men and women will become lesser, and we can see more pay equity in the industry, more girls interested in studying careers previously labeled “only for men” and more female CEOs in large-scale companies.

In this intimate testimony, Baldoni invites us to do a self-analysis, identify our vulnerability, and understand that the best relationship we will have in our lives is with ourselves.

And this is a constant path that leads to daily learning; the only way we can gradually eliminate labels we unconsciously place on everything that surrounds us.

?"Man Enough" leaves me with a clear message: You are enough.

“I believe there is hope because there’s one relationship that’s impossible to escape, one relationship every one of us has the opportunity to choose without regret or remorse, one we can’t swipe our way out of; the one you have with yourself” – Justin Baldoni