Are You Driven by Purpose or Fear?

As a leadership coach, I have found it very powerful to ask my clients: Are you running toward something, or are you running away from something? This simple question can have profound implications on the way we lead, make decisions, and ultimately steer the course of our lives. When you understand the driving force behind your decisions, you gain clarity on your path, make intentional choices, and find a deeper sense of fulfilment. But to do this, you need to dig deep and be honest with yourself.

Let’s explore why this question is so impactful and how you can use it to make more conscious decisions in life.

1. The Impact of Running Toward vs. Running Away

When we’re running toward something, we’re driven by inspiration, passion, and a sense of purpose. This type of motivation often involves creating a vision for ourselves that we genuinely desire—a fulfilling career, a healthier lifestyle, or stronger relationships. It’s a proactive and positive force that energizes us, fills us with enthusiasm, and often creates a sense of alignment within us.

On the other hand, when we’re running away from something, we’re motivated by fear, avoidance, or discomfort. Maybe we’re trying to escape a job we hate, a past we regret, or a difficult emotion we don’t want to face. Running away can feel urgent, but it doesn’t often lead to lasting fulfilment because it’s reactive. Instead of seeking to create something meaningful, we’re more focused on simply leaving behind what we find unpleasant.

While both motivations can prompt you to make a change, the outcomes are typically very different. Running toward something builds confidence, resilience, and a stronger sense of self. Running away, however, can lead to repetitive patterns, superficial changes, or feelings of emptiness because we haven’t addressed the root issue.

2. Recognizing Patterns in Your Decision-Making

To identify whether you’re running toward or away from something, start by examining your recent decisions. Ask yourself: What am I hoping to achieve by this decision? or What am I hoping to avoid? Notice if you feel excitement and alignment about your choice, or if you feel a sense of dread or desperation.

Here are some questions to help you recognize patterns:

• Do I feel a sense of peace or excitement about this decision, or does it feel like a ‘quick fix’?
• Am I focusing more on what I want to create or on what I want to escape?
• Do I often make similar choices, yet end up feeling the same sense of dissatisfaction?

If you realize you’re constantly trying to avoid certain scenarios, it may indicate an underlying issue that needs addressing. For instance, if you’ve left multiple jobs due to toxic environments, perhaps the environments are less to blame than your personal boundaries or coping strategies.

3. Evaluate Your Intentions and Values

To make better decisions, it’s essential to understand what you truly value. Take some time to reflect on what matters most to you—both in your career and personal life. Are you aiming for meaningful connections, creativity, stability, or personal growth? When you’re clear on your values, you’ll find it easier to run toward things that are meaningful rather than away from things you dislike.

Ask yourself questions like:

• What does a fulfilling life look like for me?
• What values do I want to honour in my decisions?
• How do I want to feel at the end of each day?

Aligning your choices with your values can help ensure that you’re moving in a direction that brings true satisfaction, not just temporary relief.

4. Develop a Self-Awareness Practice

Self-awareness is key to understanding what drives your decisions. Regularly checking in with yourself, through journaling, meditation, or even just quiet reflection, can help you notice when you’re acting out of fear or from a place of genuine desire.

If you’re in a situation that feels uncomfortable or dissatisfying, take a moment to pause before making a decision. Try to observe your thoughts and feelings without judgment. Ask yourself if this is a reaction or a response.

5. Moving Forward with Intention

If you discover you’ve been running away more often than toward, don’t worry—it’s a common human experience, especially when life becomes challenging. The goal isn’t to be perfect, but rather to become aware and make small shifts in the direction that feels right for you.

Remember, there is nothing wrong with wanting to move away from a difficult situation. The key is to recognize that running toward something meaningful and intentional is far more likely to lead you to lasting fulfilment and growth.

As you continue to examine your motivations, be compassionate with yourself. Introspection takes time and can be difficult, but it’s one of the most rewarding journeys you can undertake. By being intentional, you’ll not only make better choices but also find yourself living a life that feels authentic and satisfying.

So ask yourself today: Are you running toward something, or are you running away? The answer could change your path.