ARE YOU A DOPAMINE ADDICT?

The modern man is addicted to dopamine and not always the good stuff that leads to you becoming the alpha male and dominating in life, but the wet flannel kind that melts your brain. You’re a busy dad, you wake up in the morning, give your kids a cuddle, before walking out the door to exchange time for money. When you return, the responsibilities of being a modern man hit you in the face as soon as you walk through the door. You start cooking, cleaning, putting your kids to bed and listening to your wife moan about how you left the toilet seat up that morning. Instead of becoming frustrated at this unnecessary outburst, remember, you need to show concern for how upset she is, after all its not her fault, she’s had an emotional day and you better be sympathetic.

You are expected to earn a certain amount of income based simply on your age, all while being a roll model father and burdening your wife’s emotional vulnerabilities. You must always keep your composure in the household and remain masculine in the eyes of your wife, all while demonstrating enough love and affection so that your wife doesn’t find you an emotional stone and request a divorce.

Ahh the life of a modern dad! Gone are the days where all you needed to be in charge at home was a pair of testicals and a full time job.

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So how does a man survive in a world that fights against every instinct and emotional requirement he has, easy DOPAMINE!

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Dopamine is one of those words that we typically associate with sex and exercise and you would be right, as both seriously kick out a tone of the stuff. For those who don’t know dopamine is the hormone that is released during times of pleasure, so when your smashing a pint, eating shit food, sniffing Santa’s eyebrows or bench pressing in the gym. Dopamine can be your best friend and help you to remain focused and disciplined when it comes to achieving growth in your life. Or hunting daily dopamine fixes can be the one habit that ruins all of that and keeps you sad, depressed and failing to move forward in life.

Do you find balancing work and family life overwhelming? You want to regain control and become fitter, leaner and stronger but cant seem to find the time or motivation as its easier to sit on the sofa and eat crisps. If so then this blog is for you, as you my friend are a dopamine addict!!

Firstly lets just clarify the following, THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT.

Our brains are hardwired to want to seek pleasure on a daily basis and enjoy the dopamine rush that occurs as a result, for many its this alone that gets them through the day. What we need to do now is simply change the way in which you trigger dopamine and ensure you are using this feel good hormone to push you forward instead of sticking you to the floor.

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Daily dopamine triggers which are going to be working against you and turn you into a fat, emotional mess.

1. Porn: This goes without saying, it’s a waste of testosterone, makes you find your wife less attractive and makes you feel weak and pathetic after. Be the alpha male and get the prize, instead of watching someone else enjoy the real thing.

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2. Eating shit food: I know it tastes great and makes you feel happy but that’s why your overweight! The odd takeaway is fine and to be honest recommended. But when if it’s a regular habit, its just going to decrease your body confidence, increase your waistline and make your wife stop wanting to have sex with you.

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3.?Beer: Now firstly I love a pint and it’s the first thing I crave when I get home from work after a busy day, but beer is the killer of results! Not only does it effect your mental clarity, decreasing cognitive focus and productivity, but it also stops you building muscle. Alcohol supresses a process known as ‘protein synthesis’ from taking place, which is where your body repairs the muscle damage caused during your workout. So its literally ruining everything you want to achieve and that’s more money, improved body confidence and a better relationship with your wife. Get rid of it. Apart from on a Saturday night of course, everyman needs a treat.

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4.?Scrolling through social media: How much time do you spend scrolling through social media? Chances are its not that much because most of what’s on there aint worth watching. But that said its very easy to find yourself sitting on the toilet and scrolling for 20 minutes. This is due to dopamine but is a serious waste of time and energy both of which could be used more productively.

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5.?Watching Netflix until late in the evening: Do you think its just a coincidence that we like watching films which involve war or forms of bloodshed and heroism. Of course its not, we are hardwired to want to fight, win and be the hero. Getting fully emersed in a good film is also a high dopamine kicker. Don’t get me wrong, films are great and I love it when I get a chance to loose myself in a good film. The other evening I was finishing the ‘Busy Dad Bible’ landing page and so put on the film U571 to play in the background. I done 0 work and completely got sucked into life on a broken submarine. Films are great but how much of your time are you sat watching other people achieve their dreams on the TV? You want to be spending more of that time achieving your own dreams.

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There is a quote I love from Lamborghini;

‘We don’t do commercials, as our target market aren’t sat around watching TV’.

Let that sink in next time your monging out in front of the box with a beer in your hand.

All of the habits above can all be placed under one category and that is escapism. All of the above are a momentary release from the current life you are living. Instead of trying to escape your life, build one you are proud off.

So how do you do that and gain your dopamine from daily fixes that are going to push you forward in life and allow you to excel?

1.?Lift weights: This sounds simple but lifting weights regularly will have the biggest impact on your life and happiness. Let’s look at what happens to your body when you life weights 3x a week.

-? You become stronger physically and mentally.

-??Your body confidence increases and you start to feel proud of yourself.

-??Your testosterone levels increase making you want to have sex with your wife more often.

-??Your diet improves as you don’t want to sacrifice your progress in the gym by eating shit.

-??You become more mentally resilient and this impacts your focus and determination in other areas of your life.

-??It stops you sitting on the sofa drink beer and watching other men become successful.

2. Journal: The biggest excuse men have for not progressing in life is, ‘I haven’t got time’. This my friend is bullshit because I guarantee you have also never tried to find time. Journaling allows you to structure your day; without structure there are no objectives, without objectives there’s no accountability and without accountability there’s no progress. Start structuring your day for success instead of complaining about the fact you haven’t got time.

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3.?Set daily habits: A man is happiest in life when he is growing. Right now I want to introduce you to my mantra; ‘You are a walking representation of your daily habits’. It’s the little things you do everyday that determine who you are, what you achieve and who you become. Look at your daily habits now, are these helping you to achieve success in your life and grow? Or are they simply a representation of you just getting through another day with as many dopamine kicks as possible?

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4.?Go to bed early: This may sound simple but like weight training, this is one of the biggest variables in helping you get you regain control. Let’s say you get just 5 hour sleep a night, the next day your tired, which means you just roll out of bed without preparing yourself for the day. Your less productive as mental clarity and focus is reduced and you are also far more likely to increase stored body fat that day. An increase in cortisol levels (which occurs when your tired) increases fat storage in your abdominal area and also increases cravings for shit food. All this personal damage is not worth a couple extra hours watching MAFS on Netflix, so set a time to go to bed and stick to it.

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Remember all of the above is designed to help you build a life you DO NOT want to escape from. So STOP hunting dopamine fixes throughout the day and start getting that hormonal boost productively by becoming the best version of you. This is where true happiness lies.

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Kind Regards as always

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Coach James?

Click the link below to download your FREE 'Busy Dad Bible' and start to regain control. This audiobook will give you a strategy to follow and teach you everything you need to know about the 5 key variables.

busy dad bible download

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