If you don't respect your opponent...

I don't remember when I first heard the phrase, nor even the way it was phrased to begin with. Looking back, I can't even recall the context with which it had been brought up. Actually, I had believed that it was an original thought. A belief quickly shattered by my client's response.

"If you don't respect your opponent..."

"...you don't respect yourself."

The truth in that phrase is fundamental to all achievement, and not just in competitive sports. But in sports, you can see the truthfulness so acutely. How many times have you seen a player or coach diminish the team they either have just played, or are about to go against? And yet, how does that reflect on the person speaking? If they win, all they did was defeat someone inferior to them. And if they lose? No noteworthy achievement can be had against an opponent unworthy of sharing the arena.

So then, who are our opponents, and how do we show them respect? It's tempting to offer introspection, and say it lies within. Yet that is all to often self serving, and perhaps not without a touch of pretension. Not to mention it can be as illusory as the windmills Don Quixote rails against with much vigor. More productively understood, at least from my perspective, is our opponents are everyone that is not ourselves. Those that compete for resources which are not as infinite as we would like to hope: food, money, prestige, and whatever else that we may seek to obtain.

With so many opponents, how can we possibly demonstrate the value that we perceive in ourselves? Our very sense of self-respect. Every opponent we face has their own fears, insecurities, regrets and hopes. By confronting them, not with a lance, but with compassion, understanding, and hopefully skill, we can defeat our opponents through making them stronger. Because when we look for ways to bring value to others, we inevitably make ourselves stronger, and get that much closer to achieving our dreams.