"You Don't Own Me"

This blog continues my journey towards job search epiphany which started with the stop-start-change plan (read more in the previous post "10% or x10 on the job hunt"). With the plan in place, I found a soothing mantra in the song "you don't own me" (can you hear it?... don't tell me what to say, don't tell me what to do...). But "you" is not who you would expect. It's not the recruiter asking me the same questions for the 100th time, it's not an employer undervaluing my worth and offering a third of my current salary with a smile - No! it is me, my impatience and me counting time to result. I realized the same thing that got me accolades at the workplace - being results-driven and a doer - was now "owning" me and holding me back from feeling in control.

Strengthened by my enlightenment, I took my mantra with me to the next interview series. My interviewer took out a folded piece of paper with a long list of questions and commenced the session. Why us?, Why you? Why now? this time I wasn't just responding to the question, I was looking for an "in", an opportunity to change the exchange from a single-sided interrogation to a conversation. With a "what do you think of..." question, I found my opportunity and I quickly turned it around "that's a very interesting question, what do YOU think..." and there it was. An actual conversation, an exchange of thoughts among marketing professionals. I had learnt a lot from that conversation. It was almost even fun. I felt good at the end of the day but I had doubts regarding my strategy. I was showing my true colors, my character, and it may cost me the job.

In the car, stuck in traffic, I had plenty of time to reflect. This interview process feels a bit like dating. I had to dig deep in my past, but I could still recall some of the make-believe fallacy in dating. "Did you enjoy this wresting match?" he asks, "Sure I did, and you will enjoy the opera with me?", she retaliates. There is a good chance this relationship is doomed. But, I digress. Being true to myself in the interview process was an important step in finding an employer that values my skills and it is a strong indicator of a good working relationship. I found that when the interview turned from interrogation to conversation with ease, there was room to develop positive chemistry and the engagement was not almost fun, it WAS fun. I felt upbeat and proud regardless of the outcome.

My initial job search strategy was simple, get a job. Deep inside, I may have even added "any job". It sounds desperate and you may say that's not me. "Any job" was my sabotaging narrative; taking control and giving myself time helped me uncover it and toss it away. Now I enter an interview with anticipation and exploration. I recall my dating days with a smile, the fabulous guy I ended up marrying was great fun, he wasn't deterred by my strong nature, opinions or lack of skill in the kitchen. He thought it would make for an interesting relationship. And I'm making that my new job search strategy.