You don't know what you don't know

In 2022, I ( Laura Jonker ) decided to start motorcycle lessons. And I have learned a lot. Not only how to ride a motorcycle, but I also faced the psychological components of learning where XOET is focusing on. After publishing a weekly blog in Dutch, I decided last December to repeat this series in English. With today: Lesson 16. Stoic philosophy and self-regulation.?

To be honest, I doubted if I would take this class. Wouldn't I be able to pass my exam without it? Driving has been going well for several lessons and lessons are not cheap. Still, I decided to take the lesson. Why? Two reasons:?

1.?????If I don't pass the exam, I want to feel like I did everything I could.?

2.?????I may be able to drive, but I certainly haven't experienced all traffic situations and the things you don’t expect are the important ones

I rode today with someone I didn't know yet, but at first glance it seemed like a nice young girl. And she was. It turned out she had had lessons with another driving school before, but after failing twice she switched. She failed on "small things", she said. The examiner thought she was not confident enough on the bike.?

We hit the road and soon I heard a lot of feedback in my left ear. The feedback was not meant for me, but for the young girl. Some things I recognized. For example, looking in both mirrors and over your shoulder first when cornering or merging. But if someone doesn't tell you to do this, then you don't know yourself that you're not doing it. During the break she said that she had to get used to driving in a different way, but that she realizes that she can drive better. She also told some things about how it went at her previous driving school. I thought, "Jeez, that really wouldn't have something that suits me." Some things even sounded a little dangerous to me.?

Despite my experiences and sometimes irritations towards my instructor, I realize that I am happy with him. He may not be my type of coach, we could have matched better on a personal level and the way of giving feedback doesn't quite match my personal preferences (see earlier blogs), but I do feel that he taught me how to ride a motorcycle well and safely.?

My experiences from a psychological perspective?

Stoic Philosophy:?Another week and then I have my exam.??Of course, that is exciting. My preparation? Gaining self-confidence (see previous blog) and doing everything you feel you could have done. In my case maybe a few more lessons than strictly necessary. This philosophy also fits well within the Stoic philosophy. This philosophy is - despite its age - on the rise in popularity recently. It is important in the way Mark Tuitert approaches performance and also the performance and lifestyle coach of the soccer Academy of AZ ( Bart Heuvingh ) with it, amongst others.

Stoic philosophy is an old way of life by Epictetus with its origins about 300 years before our era started, which assumes - in a nutshell - that everything can be divided into two categories:?

1.?????Those you can control?

2.?????Those you cannot control and can at best be influenced?

When you put this wisdom into practice, it basically says that you have to accept that you don't have everything under control and that it's best to focus on the things you do have control over, such as your judgments, decisions, what's going on in your head and your emotions as a derivative of your thoughts.?

In my case, it means that I have no control over the temperature during my riding (see blog on prior exam on the heat), nor the decisions of other road users. I may be unlucky if something happens that I haven't experienced on the bike and I act incorrectly for example. I also have no control over the examiner's opinion - and it shouldn't matter of course, but we are all human - his mood. What I do have control over is my focus on the task at hand: do what I've learned and then see what the result will be. I also have control over the number of preparation lessons, allowing myself to gain confidence and experience with any unexpected decisions made by road users during those lessons.?

So, the philosophy of the stoics is not to focus on the result (e.g., passing my exam), but on the way you go into the exam and how you deal with situations that arise. If you have done everything possible, then according to the stoics, it is not important whether you reach the goal or not. Of course, I want to succeed, but if I've done everything within my control then that's what it is....?

Tips: If you notice that emotions such as tension distract you or thoughts of things you cannot control, focus on what you can control. Don't be distracted by factors beyond your control, but try to focus on your actions.?

Self-regulation is not something you do alone:?I don't think I'm the first to say that learning is more fun together, but most of all you do it together. During the workshops I give on self-regulation, I regularly get the comment that students/athletes/employees don't learn by themselves. Usually the next question is whether I can help them to do it themselves. Well, I have news: there is no such thing! Even though the word?self?is in self-regulation it doesn't mean you have to do everything yourself. In fact, great champions had a lot of support.?

However, the crux is to recognize that you are responsible for yourself and act accordingly. You don't have to do it yourself, but you are responsible for your learning and to organize the things according to what is important for your learning process.??

Tips: self-regulation is about taking responsibility. This can mean anything, such as looking for another coach like Carlijn Achtereekte did before she became Olympic champion in PyeongChang. This can also be about involving another coach on a particular event or expressing to your coach what you need. It is just what is needed at that moment. See also blogs 1, 7 and 9 on self-regulation. So, do not hesitate to take the initiative and do not be reticent. If you want something, you have to go for it.?

Self-regulation is also about knowledge?

Another question I often get is about self-regulation and people who don't have much experience yet with the topic at hand. Self-regulation is applicable in various contexts, but it becomes very difficult if you don’t have prior knowledge. For example, how do you know what your goal is if you've never played basketball before! In my first blog, you'll also see that my instructor kept it small. He let me get some experience and then he asked about that mini piece how it went and what could be better.?

Tips: If you want to get started with self-regulation, start small. For me, that consists of two things:?

1.?????If someone does not have much experience yet, give someone a short experience (a few minutes) and start asking specific questions about it. What went well? What could be better? What will be the next focus point??

2.?????Learning self-regulation takes time and energy. That means it needs training just like a physical skill. It really takes a few weeks to learn it and not everyone likes it. Don't spend an entire training session asking questions, but choose an exercise that takes a few minutes and ask your questions about it to get someone involved in the self-regulatory process.?

More on how to encourage people to self-regulate can be found in blogs 1, 7 and 9.?

Well, now the big wait can begin. Another week and then the exam. I'm looking forward to it.?

Want to know more about these themes? In '#GOALS. Tips to train (even) better' Prof. Dr. Nico van Yperen and I describe them in a sports setting. The book is available for athletes and trainers and can be ordered via:?https://www.sportsmedia.nl/goals-tips-om-sporters-nog- beter-te-trainen.html.

In 'From disposition to intelligence' I describe in detail the importance of self-regulation and why it is scientifically important. This book can be ordered via:?https://www.sportsmedia.nl/van-aanleg-naar-intelligentie-het-sporttalent-in-o.html.

Prof. Dr. Nico van Yperen wrote about stoic philosophy on his sportscience.blog. This blog and other blogs can be read at:?https://www.sportscience.blog/2020/02/23/controle#more-773.

Also Mark Tuitert wrote a book about his way of doing things in which the stoic philosophy has been important:?https://marktuitert.nl/drive-train-je-stoicijnse- mindset/gclid=CjwKCAjwu5yYBhAjEiwAKXk_eONKUAud8yWRuFT6cfiAholbV- __woQ82idYDgC6iiCCtwwWeaw6vBoC_RcQAvD_BwE.?