If You Don’t Know by Now, Knowledge is Not the Key

If You Don’t Know by Now, Knowledge is Not the Key

Imagine being a heart surgeon. Imagine seeing patient after patient with heart disease and sharing with them this undeniable fact: “if you don’t make changes in your diet, your exercise regimen, and your smoking—you will die.”

Next imagine that only one in seven patients heed the surgeon’s warning. It defies logic. We are talking about literal life or death and only one in seven people make the changes that will save their lives.

This is what it is like to be a leader. To be a parent. To be a mentor. To be a family member. We know what will make a difference for other people, we know the actions they need to take, they even know what will create change for themselves—but they don’t do it.

You can read LinkedIn all day long and find out what you need to do in order to be a good leader, or to get a promotion, or to find a job. It rarely works. We know what to do and we don’t do it.

So what’s required?

This study about the heart patients is referred to in a book that maybe holds the answer to how to deal with the fact that knowing what is needed isn’t enough. The book is called Immunity to Change by Kegan and Lahey. Their work basically states that we don’t do the things we know we should do because we have deeper hidden commitments that stop us. In other words, we have blind spots.

Enter a coach.

At our core, this is what coaches do. We help you discover your blindspots—because you can’t do anything with knowledge you don’t know you don’t know.

So you sit with a coach. He or she asks you big questions that help you see yourself in ways you have never seen yourself before. You may discover a hidden commitment or perspective that you had that held you back.

Here is just a short list of blindspots my coaches have helped me discover in the last 10 years:

  • I was more committed to meeting potential friends for lunch than working on the important aspects of my business because I thought my friends would stop being my friends if I said no. With my coaches help, I tested this theory and found it wasn’t true.
  • I believed for a long time that if my childhood would have been fundamentally the way I wanted it to be, my life would be better. A coach showed me clearly that what I had been wishing for would have made my life much worse.
  • I was more committed to “being authentic” in my blog posts instead of doing what I said I would do for my readers—thus eroding my integrity along the way.

What has your experience been working with coaches?

______________________________________________________________

Past Articles: Neurodiverse Leadership Resource Library

Want more resources on neurodivergent leadership? We are finding and creating resources for you. Watch this section expand every week.

Jan 17: More Resources on Your Neurodivergent Journey

Jan 10: Let’s Talk About Empathy

Dec 20: Leaders Talk to Themselves

Dec 13: They’re Called Coping Mechanisms for a Reason

Dec 6: Leadership is an Inside Job

Nov 22: Should I Stay or Should I Go?

Nov 15: People are More Difficult Than Algorithms

Nov 8: Leaders Don’t Want to Be Victims

Nov 1: "He Only Cares About Himself"

Oct 18: Neurodivergent Leaders and the Power of One on One Conversation

Oct 4: How to Be Disciplined When You Just Aren’t

Sept 26: My Boss Doesn’t Listen, Now What?

Sept 20: You Can’t Manage Time—Even if You Have Neurodivergent Superpowers

Sept 13: Breaking Through the "Nerd" Ceiling

Sept 6: You Are Not Alone

Aug 30: More than Ever, Neurodivergent Leaders Need a Coach

Aug 22: The Enneagram and My Leadership

Aug 9: Do You Really Want to Manage Up? Start here!

Aug 1: The Difference Between Good Leaders and Great Leaders is How Much They Care (About People)

July 25: Better Living Through Chemistry—Until There is a Shortage

July 19: Coming Alive is What We Are Meant to Do

July 12: What Is My Purpose? What Happens When High Performers Feel Defeated?

June 28: The Art of Really Listening…Doing a Listening Fast

June 20: "It's Everything"

June 13: Listening to Completion

June 6: Embodying Resilience and Grit

May 23: Taylor Swift Can Do It With a Broken Heart—So Can You!

May 16: Neurodivergent Executives (Like The Yeti but Real)

May 10: Focused and Distracted at the Same Time

May 3: All Brains Belong

April 25: No One Told Me I Couldn’t Do That!!! Expectations vs Agreements & Neurodivergent Leaders

April 19: I Can’t Deal with THIS Person

April 12 : Being Smarter is NOT the Answer

April 5: All Executive Coaching Eventually Becomes "Life Coaching"

Mar 28: The Best Leadership is Service

Mar 22: Neurodiversity Week

Mar 15: Without Empathy We're Without Leadership

Mar 8: You Aren't Who You Think (Or Feel) You Are

Mar 1: Thriving Uniquely vs Suffering in Silence: The Benefits of Confidential Self-Identification for Neurodivergent Leaders

Feb 23: Who Needs Productivity Anyway? Did You See That Squirrel?

Feb 12: Emerging from Shame: Illuminating the Path to Neurodivergent Leadership Brilliance

Feb 1: Always Do Your Best Doesn’t Mean Always Do THE Best

Jan 25: There is Nothing Wrong but Something Is Missing

Jan: 19 What’s a Vision Anyway? Why Can’t They Just Do Their Jobs?

Jan 12: A Day in the Life of a Neurodivergent Leader: Navigating Autistic Demand Avoidance at Work

Jan 5: Redefining Autism: The Power of Self-Identification

Dec 21: Why Am I So Anxious

Dec 14: Cultivating Brilliance in Neurodivergent Leaders

Dec 7: Conversations Matter

Dec 1: The Trouble With Geniuses

Nov 17: Science Lesson

Nov 10: Living from Logic in an Emotional World

Nov 3: Communicating with Precision and Simplicity

Oct 27: Creativity and Innovation

Oct 20: How Neurodiversity is Making a Positive and Innovative Impact

Oct 12: It’s Lonely at the Top—Especially for Neurodivergent Leaders

Oct 6: Simply Different?

Sept 29: ADHD: The Kryptonite of It and Its Superpowers

Sept 21: Nerds (and Geeks) Are Leaders Too!

Sept 14 : Blind Spots: You Can't See Yours

Sept 7: People are More Difficult Than Algorithms

Aug 31: ADHD Kids Become ADHD Adults—but Sometimes the Tools Stop Working

Aug 25: Are you Dumb Enough to Manage Up?

Aug 18: Understanding the Avoidant Employee

Aug 10: Your Leadership is Not Served by You Thinking You are Less Than

Aug 4: Leaders Don't Want to Be Victims

July 20: Are You Overcompensating?

July 13: Why We Need the Outdoors

July 6: It's Not a Bug, It's a Feature

June 29: EMOTIONAL BIDS: What Do We Do When Someone Reaches Out to Us Emotionally?

June 15: The Boxes We Put Ourselves In

June 8: Please Just Tell Me the Answer!

May 25: Dyslexia and Leadership

May 18: Autism and Leadership: Advantages and Challenges

May 11: ADHD and Leadership

May 4: Hi Elon, I'd Like to Be Your Executive Coach

Apr 27: Surprise! Your Motivators are NOT Their Motivators

Apr 14: Managing Up Success Story

Apr 6: The Power of Routine

Mar 30: The Nerd Ceiling and Digital Body Language

Mar 22: Neurodiversity Makes For Better Leaders (Sometimes)

Mar 16: He Only Cares About Himself

Mar 9: Neurodiverse Leaders and the Power of One on One Conversation

Mar 2: What if My Neurodiverse Boss Sucks with People?

Feb 23: Why Am I So Anxious?

Feb 16: The Trouble With Neurodiverse Leadership (Forbes Article)

Feb 9: Your Straight Talk is NOT Authentic Leadership

_______________________________________________________________

Staying In Touch

What leadership challenges are you facing??We’d love to hear from you - feel free to set up a time to chat here.

Make sure you never miss an issue! Click the "subscribe" button in the upper right-hand corner of the page. For more articles and insights, connect with me here.

要查看或添加评论,请登录

Ken Carlson的更多文章

  • You Can Only Change Reality with Reality

    You Can Only Change Reality with Reality

    In other words, trying to solve a problem in your brain will never work. Talking to your friends over and over again…

  • Shelf Help is Usually Just That

    Shelf Help is Usually Just That

    I checked my Kindle today; I have 309 books on my virtual shelf. Granted, there are a few David Baldacci thrillers and…

    2 条评论
  • New From Petra Russell: Unlocking ADHD Innovation: Coaching Strategies for Neurodivergent Leaders

    New From Petra Russell: Unlocking ADHD Innovation: Coaching Strategies for Neurodivergent Leaders

    In early 2023, we began sharing weekly content (see below) with a focus on neurodivergent leaders and we truly hope it…

  • More Resources on Your Neurodivergent Journey

    More Resources on Your Neurodivergent Journey

    I picked up a magazine the other day titled “ADHD”. It’s a single issue magazine meant to have all the answers for…

  • Let’s Talk About Empathy

    Let’s Talk About Empathy

    The biggest lie told about autistic people is that they lack empathy. I can tell you that my experience is exactly the…

    3 条评论
  • Leaders Talk to Themselves

    Leaders Talk to Themselves

    The end of the year is near and although technically there is little difference between December 31st, 2024 and January…

  • They’re Called Coping Mechanisms for a Reason

    They’re Called Coping Mechanisms for a Reason

    I was going through a tough time. Emotionally at least.

  • Leadership is an Inside Job

    Leadership is an Inside Job

    Four things you can control (kinda) and one thing you can’t As leaders, we start with our intentions—the goals that we…

    1 条评论
  • Should I Stay or Should I Go?

    Should I Stay or Should I Go?

    A recent photo from Greece I was fed up. I was working my heart out but it seemed all my boss could see were my…

  • People are More Difficult Than Algorithms

    People are More Difficult Than Algorithms

    I feel for geniuses. They were probably doing math at a university level while they were still in grade school—maybe…

    2 条评论

社区洞察

其他会员也浏览了