You Don't Have To Own It To Enjoy It

Yesterday, I sat in a wicker chair at Black Pug Books, surrounded by... books! It was heavenly. I owned none of those books but I enjoyed being in that environment.

This morning, I had a heavenly shower. It was in my ladyfriend's home, I don't own a home of my own, but I enjoyed being in that moment.

Earlier in the morning, I was in paradise looking out of the window of someone else's home, enchanted by the gently falling snow - as happy as a child again. I did not own the snow, I did not own the home, I did not own the window, but I did own the moment.

To Own Is To Owe

For far too many of us the cost of ownership is to owe - to be in debt. This, of course, is not true for everyone, but it is true for the vast majority. Even assets you own often have costs to maintain. Paid off the mortgage? Excellent! But let me reassure you that you will never escape the council tax or the next invented tax that will remind you ownership is only part of the story. If you are part of any Nation, you will pay rent! But...

The greatest free asset is the moment.

Today, in the UK, millions of people will cook for themselves in a 'space' that they own to some extent. Millions more will watch televisions that they own - on their own. Will they be satisfied? I don't know. I know they will be distracted for the moment.

I am proud to be an introvert - after all, it gives me energy. In a sense this isolationist regime we live under suits me. I love my own space. I love quiet. I love to be alone. But I don't have to 'own' to enjoy being alone... and the high point of this week was a shared meal in somebody else's home with the most excellent company. Even introverts appreciate moments with specially chosen friends!

The magic is in the moments.

Magic moments!

I have regretted for a long, long time, not owning my own home. Instead, I have rented. I have rented houses in locations that put the price point beyond my capacity to own at that time. So, I have lived in Lulworth Cove - where the moon rises and falls over Durdle Door; I have lived in Ridge - close to the RSPB's reserve at Arne where the Sika Deer rut, the dragonflies zoom, and the birds flock in abundance; and I have lived in Swanage, in a flat overlooking the Ocean and the Isle of Wight - a view that brought me sunrise over the sea every morning. I have wasted my money on rent... but I have had 'moments' - a myriad magical moments - all of which are still with me in my memory.

[And on a poignant note, I remember the 'moment' Lady Weld introduced herself to me at a fete in Lulworth Cove. "Hello," she said, "I'm Lady Weld... I own the Cove!"!! Even now, years on, I am still puzzled by the value in telling me that.]

Over the last few years I've expanded the kind of crowd I mingle with. Now, along with those gorgeous arty-types, and intellectual bookish friends, I've rubbed shoulders with the rich and famous. For me, one of the most fascinating revelations has been the number of them who have confessed to not finding as much satisfaction in the things they own as they thought they would find. The Lotus and the Ferrari can turn out to be an exhilarating drive on the smooth race track but a bone-shaking coffin on bumpy country roads. Some of them have concluded that they don't have to own the object to enjoy it. Of course, they'd been way more sensible than me and are now financially independent - but independent to do what? What will we do with our 'freedom'?

Want to enjoy a sports' car? Hire one for the week-end my rich colleagues say. Want that luxury villa by the sea - hire it, don't own it!

Then and Now

'Now and Then' is a most excellent album by the Carpenters. I have had many happy moments listening to that album. (Nowadays, I am more likely to listen to that same album on Spotify - a new concept beyond 'ownership'.) Every time I listen again, I am in some ways transported back, or at least connected to, those earlier moments. Since first buying (and owning, I suppose) that album I have spent more time in 'Then' than I have in 'Now'.

What I mean is that I have been rarely 'in the moment' - but rather more often in some imagined 'Then'. The 'Then' was usually in the future - a bigger, brighter, better future filled with the material bliss of ownership. The bliss of owning one's own home. The bliss of owning one's own car. One's own television. The list will be never ending when we choose that path. I did... and the years have flown past.

What I lost, all too often, was owning my own time. I missed huge portions of the children growing up... and now the grandchildren. I missed that full moon, that eclipse, that blue tit on the bird-feeder, those buds on the honeysuckle, the Milky Way in Summer, the leaf-kicking in Autumn, those few snowflakes drifting down today. I missed out because I was 'out' - complete 'out of it' and not present.

Now I want to be present and correct. I've realised that that most precious resource - the present moment - is too often being spent trying to earn enough to own stuff. I've been seeking to buy future moments.

Of course, now I understand the vital importance of preparing for the future - but you and I don't have to live there in the 'Then' - nor do we need to dwell in the past - the other 'Then'.

Today, there will be moments. Blink and you will miss them. It's OK to blink - it's good for your eyes - but when you do have your eyes wide open, stop, pause, and look. In the moment I have just done that, a wren has cascaded down like an autumn leaf - a momentary glimpse - and a glimpse that was well worth it.

In conclusion then, you don't need to own everything to enjoy it, but you do need to be in the moment!

If you own anything, own the moment.