You don't have to be infallible, but ignoring your mistakes ain't great

Like most people, my brain occasionally likes to relive every single time I've mucked up in excruciating detail.

I call this taking a trip down Cringe Lane.

It starts with wetting my pants in my Year 1 classroom (TMI?) and carries on to my most recent failure to facilitate a money/tooth exchange in a timely manner for one of my children.

In between, it takes some meandering detours into professional miscommunications, poorly timed jokes and that one time I asked my cousin-in-law if she was pregnant (readers, she was not pregnant).

No one's perfect, and we shouldn't expect ourselves to be.

But that doesn't stop the midnight regrets, tooth-grinding and wishing it were *any other way* than how it happened.

Over time, I've learned these stuff-ups are actually little gift-wrapped opportunities for richer relationships, though they come wrapped in embarrassment and discomfort to start.

They're gifts because you build trust by making amends for your mistakes, not by being infallible.

I had cause to think of this today when I was talking to my wonderful social media intern.

He's soon to be job hunting for a full-time role (side note: whoever gets him will be lucky to have him).

While chatting about how networking is important in Perth, he commented that you can't make a mistake because word gets around.

What a heavy load to carry!

The need to be correct all the time, to never slip up.

That's a tough ask of anyone, but completely unreasonable for someone new to the full-time work force especially.

I had to set him straight:

Mistakes don't ruin your reputation.

Negative reputation effects happen if you fail to take responsibility for your actions and/or make amends.

You will make mistakes, 100 per cent guaranteed.

Some will be minor, causing no more than an awkward moment or two.

Others will be ...significant.

Thinking of big mistakes always reminds me of my early engineering days at the BHP Billiton Safety Conference in 2006(ish). Don't be fooled folks - safety people know how to have fun and the conference was awesome.

I'd agreed to carpool from my hotel in Brisbane to the airport with a colleague. We set a time for her to meet me at my hotel.

While she was on her way, the traffic deteriorated. I knew we'd struggle to make our flight.

Another colleague spontaneously offered me a lift in his cab, and I grabbed it.

I let my other colleague know she was on her own via text.

Reader, I was sadly right - my colleague's cab did not make it to the airport in time.

She missed her flight.

I made mine.

I felt awful, but that didn't make up for her being put out so badly.

I sent flowers and a note to her at work a few days later, apologising for my shoddy choice and the inconvenience I'd caused.

She called to accept my apology, thanking me especially for the flower choice (I think it was an orchid), to say it was okay, and not to blame myself.

Of course, I still blamed myself :) Here I am, 17 years later, bringing it up again.

But it was so good to clear the air, to let her know that I knew I'd done the wrong thing.

Most importantly, I've never done it again.

We've all had moments like this.

Times when we've caused pain, harm, inconvenience. Inadvertently, intentionally - it doesn't really matter what you intended.

I think it's fair to expect we'll have such moments again.

Dear reader, should you learn you've caused pain, harm, inconvenience or something else unfortunate, I encourage you to grab that opportunity to build trust by taking responsibility and making amends.

A heartfelt apology will often be enough, but if you can help rectify the situation, that's probably worth a shot too.

Cheers,