You Don’t Have to be in Control All the Time
We live in a world where being in control of our lives and our destinies is considered as the highest expression of personal freedom. We even have political movements that are based on the concept of personal liberty. But, without exploring the limits of our current ideas of freedom, we should take a moment to understand that we can’t be in control of everything that happens in our lives.?That would be absurd. We can’t always exercise absolute control over our immediate environment.
If you’ve ever experienced the frustration of a missed flight or a cancelled train, a flat tire or a breakdown in the Internet, you’ll know how these simple events, which are completely beyond your control, can throw the day’s plans completely out of alignment. It can be very disheartening to do everything you can to make the day a success and then suffer the indignity of seeing your best laid plans thwarted by unexpected events. But, even though we can’t control everything that happens to us, we can absolutely choose how we respond.
The one place in our personal universe where we can exercise complete control is within the domain of our thoughts and feelings. That’s why it can be very helpful to reframe any situation in which you find yourself and ask a simple question: “What does this mean?” And that's because we add meaning to everything. So, we can safely say that the situation means whatever we want it to mean. We are free to choose. We can become angry or frustrated. We can remain calm. We can direct our energy towards something more productive than feeling annoyed at events that are beyond our control. We could turn our attention towards those areas that we can influence. We can exercise our creativity. It's really a question of making better choices.
Sometimes, these events can serve as a gentle reminder that we don’t need to be in control all of the time. We can learn to cultivate a sense of peace and equanimity that shields us from the old habits of stress and anxiety. We can learn to use our mental and emotional energy more wisely.