You will disappoint someone: Here’s Why It Matters.
Christine Anastasia, Ed.M., M.C.L.C.
Life Coach for overwhelmed and stressed women on the hamster wheel | I help burned out women prioritize their wellbeing in micro steps. ???Recognized as one of the Top 15 Coaches in Boston
As a recovering people-pleaser, I've always been results-oriented, eager to meet people in the middle, and afraid of disappointing others. This mindset has been ingrained in me since childhood, where I learned not to ask for too much or be a burden. Now, in my forties, I'm re-evaluating these long-held beliefs and questioning if they're still serving me.
Beliefs that we once had can be limiting. Our mind can take over and often write the rest of a sentence or a story. Let’s take the examples of being in transition or looking for the right opportunity or next step. Along the way, in a transition, you can be fumbling around, networking, and doing what you can to see what opportunities and things reveal themselves. You may have good days. You may have boring days or not-so-meaningful ones. You may even feel unproductive or like nothing is happening or moving. Most of these are thoughts. Some can be worrisome. And others have validity, as money does pay the bills and expenses. But today, I’m hoping to offer another approach: Could you stay open to the process in the discomfort?
Maybe some of the things you're worried about will happen, or maybe none of them will. Being anxious and worried about your circumstances doesn’t create a lot of momentum. It can leave you stuck and discouraged. When we open ourselves up to reaching for the better feeling, we get out of all-or-nothing thinking. Whether that is gratitude or being mindful of our thoughts, we can replace being in scarcity with focusing our attention on the good. So let’s keep going.
You can’t help but be on LinkedIn and see so many #opentowork candidates. There’s also lots of information to sift through—from news to postings to general updates—and things that may resonate with you and may not. But I mostly know, behind every profile picture, whether you’re looking at the camera, haven’t updated the photo, or left the stock image, each person has a story. Every person behind the LinkedIn profile is struggling with something or facing a challenge. So many people on here get hammered with messages to their inboxes all day, and some may not even want to log into this platform because it’s just too much.
Wherever you are, know that if you’re feeling like you’re on unsteady ground, it’s not for lack of trying. Most well-intentioned people are doing what they can with the resources and knowledge available to them. But life is inundating lately. So much distraction. So much content. Hardly anyone can process all that is coming our way today.
So whether you’re on a job search, in transition, or feeling uninspired, the tides can shift. Our minds can shift. Sometimes it’s a conversation. Getting some fresh air. Shaking up an activity or leaning into something creative. Reaching for the better feeling sometimes can be hard. We can begin. We can take the step. Consider an option. Think about a way to shift. And make the motion towards it.
Our beliefs in our closets have been there for a while. Sometimes we have to give them space. And sometimes we have to have a conversation with them and let them know their stay won’t be welcome as long this time. Their visit is no longer going to take up as much mental space. And yes, you may disappoint someone or some situation along the way. But life happens. Following the breadcrumbs of your aspirations and goals is what you’re here for. So even when the mental monkey mind gets in the way, stay open. Breathe in compassion when your mind goes to worst-case scenarios. Most don’t happen anyway.
Most of us need light. Someone to see our light so we can pass on that light. When our lights are on, we inspire others, and that creates more inspiration and hope and ultimately touches all of us. So if you needed a bit of validation and motivation, I hope you see this today. I see you if you’ve been letting your mind worry you with stuff that is taking up too much space. Acknowledge it and also give space for you to pursue what is next. Here’s your permission to get after it.?
Have the conversation.?
领英推荐
Make the move.?
Take the step.?
Draw the line in the sand.?
You are worth it.?
You will disappoint someone along the way. But you won’t disappoint yourself, and that’s the best relationship that you’ll have—the one with yourself.
You’re not alone. Life is messy in the middle, and I’m here for it and see you out there.
If we haven’t met, I’m Christine, master certified life coach, mom of 3. I help overwhelmed and stressed women cut through the chaos of their lives and prioritize themselves in a way that feels good to them. I lead with empathy, support, and my intuition.? If you’d like to be a part of my community, feel free to join me here .?
Tech For Good Web Development Agency Founder - Delivering Hassle-Free, High Performance Web Solutions for Mission-Driven Organizations | PMP, ACP, CSM | RBC Women of Influence Canada 3x nominee
3 个月Like Wayne Dyer says - in a room of 1000 people you have 1000 reputations. Do you worry about each one? Forget it lol! Enjoy your life :)
*Holistic Mental Health Wellness* Licensed Therapist Consulting|Coaching
3 个月Thoughtful piece Christine Anastasia, Ed.M., M.C.L.C.
Leadership and Transition Coach, Advisor/ Cheerleader and Aurora Guide at REACHire
3 个月Love this. Once I hit 50, I changed my people pleasing mindset. It was liberating!