Are You Dating Someone You’re Conflicting With and Want to Know Why?

When was the last time you felt like your partner is on a different wavelength as you? Maybe you were pouring your heart out, only to be met with a quick, “Yeah, sure,” or they got annoyed with you for checking your phone notifications during what they thought was a serious conversation.

Relationships can feel like a thrilling yet perplexing puzzle, where even the simplest conversations can sometimes lead to confusion or frustration. These moments of misalignment often come down to the unique ways our personalities shape how we communicate.?

The good news? Rather than allowing these differences to drive you further apart, by understanding those deeper dynamics you can unlock the puzzle and bring you closer together.

How Our Brain is Wired

We all have unique ways of expressing ourselves. One popular assessment tool theories that our behaviours are shapedare, shaped by our DISC behavioural styles. Here’s a quick breakdown:

• Dominant (D): Direct and action-oriented, focused on "what needs to be done" rather than how it’s said.
• Influencing (I): Enthusiastic and love free-flowing conversations, thriving on connection and storytelling.
• Steady (S): Value harmony and prefer calm, empathetic dialogues.
• Conscientious (C): Detail-driven, seeking precision and logic in discussions.

For example, my mother-in-law tends to read through several reviews before making an informed decision to purchase an item. Her primary DISC style is very likely to be a Conscientious (C) style.

Understanding these tendencies can shed light on recurring patterns in your conversations and help you pinpoint the hidden reasons behind your friction.

Decoding Conflict Triggers: Recognising Friction Points

Ever noticed how some arguments seem to repeat themselves? That’s because conflict triggers often arise when DISC styles clash. A fast-paced, goal-driven D might feel frustrated by an S who takes a slower, more deliberate approach. Meanwhile, an I’s spontaneity could seem chaotic to a meticulous C who prefers structure.?

Let’s take public figures as an example: consider how Elon Musk’s visionary (likely D-I) style might clash with someone who leans more towards cautious, rule-oriented (C) tendencies. Recognising these differences isn’t about assigning blame - it’s about uncovering the “why” behind the behaviours.

The Secret Key is Adaptation, Not Aggravation

So, how do you bridge the gap? The key lies in adapting to your partner’s style. These are some strategies to communicate effectively with each DISC type:

• D (Dominant): Be direct, concise, and focus on results. Skip the unnecessary details or emotional appeals.
• I (Influencing): Bring energy and enthusiasm to conversations. Show genuine interest in their ideas and stories.
• S (Steady): Speak calmly and patiently, offering reassurance and empathy. Avoid rushing them into decisions.
• C (Conscientious): Stick to facts and logic. Be clear, organised, and respect their need for thoroughness.

When you adjust your approach, you’re not compromising who you are. You are simply creating a bridge for better understanding.

Stronger Relationships Through Knowing How People Tick

Understanding DISC isn’t just about avoiding conflict; it’s about transforming it into an opportunity for deeper connection. By recognising each other’s unique communication styles, you can approach disagreements with empathy and mutual respect. Imagine the power of being able to decode your partner’s behaviour and respond in a way that resonates with them.?

Start small: have a conversation about your preferences, explore each other’s behavioural tendencies, and commit to finding common ground.

Relationships flourish when communication thrives, and DISC can be the compass that guides you to a stronger, more fulfilling connection.

Comment below if you know what your DISC behavioural style might be!