Are you a cryer? The way out is through ...

Why do we cry uncontrollably when we speak in a group?

If you’re a sensitive visionary, an ambitious empath, or a loving rebel, you know what I’m talking about.

A wave of emotion erupts like a tsunami from within.

15 years ago, during Fitzmaurice Voicework training, I found myself sobbing at the front of the room. Snot flying everywhere!

They’d asked me to open my heart, breathe, and be seen.

When I did, the floodgates opened. The un-cried cries came bursting out. The dam that was holding the tears and snot back (my energetic armor and jaw- tension-infused emotional mask) had finally released.

I asked my mentors, Saul and Cynthia, “Will I ever be able to teach with an open heart without crying?”

“Yes, you will. When they need you, you will,” said Cynthia.

“How,” I asked

Saul replied, “Find more safe spaces like this one where you can practice.”

So, I did. One breath, one room, one cry at a time.

Here’s what I learned: We cry because it matters.

And …

Sometimes, we’re also crying the uncried cries from our past. Sometimes we’re crying the uncried cries of the other people in the room. And sometimes, we’re crying the uncried cries of the world.

What happens when all three of those things happen at the same time? Yup. That tsunami of emotion explodes out our eyes and noses!

Suppressing doesn’t work. Trying to find a shortcut around the tears doesn’t work. Those are the strategies that stored the uncried cries in our bodies in the first place.

The way out is through.

The key isn’t to stop the cries; it’s to move through them.

When we move through the tears, that tsunami of uncried cries dissipates. When that happens, our emotions no longer overtake us and silence our voices. Instead, we get to the other side where we’re able to channel all that “stuff” into a powerful energy that touches our listeners’ hearts.

I’ve been practicing in sacred spaces for over 20 years. I’ve been holding those sacred spaces for other sensitive souls for 15 years.

The world doesn’t always feel safe. It certainly doesn’t feel sacred or supportive.

The world is the place that told us that we were “too much,” “not enough,” and “too emotional” all at the same time.

Practicing in sacred spaces, where we are witnessed, supported, and held is vital.

From the experience of going through the tears in a safe space, we remember that we are enough, we start to believe that our emotions are beautiful, and we create new body memories that help us know we can.

Then we can step back out into the world, share our magic, and show everyone, that it is possible to lead with an open heart.