You are creating your own conflict! STOP IT!

Hello!

I’m aware I didn’t send a newsletter out in June, I was inundated with people being deeply concerned!

Not really I didn’t get one message! I’m very disappointed in you all.

Jokes aside I took time away from my desk for good reason, my son Lennie was born. I’ve taken time to slow down and be with my family as we welcome this new human into the world and have him know how much we love and will love him.

It’s also been really important for us to spend time with our 6 year old son Albert to have him feel as much of a part of it as we can.

Most of you won’t know this but this completed our 10 year journey of ICSI (form of IVF) since we were told we would likely never have kids of our own.

When I was 21 I went travelling and caught the mumps (I was vaccinated) and it left me unable to naturally conceive children which I didn’t find out until many years later when my wife and I began trying for children.

This created a deeply dark and troubling time in my life for me, I was anxious, depressed and worried about everything. It almost felt like shell shock, I was so easily triggered by everything.

I’m sharing this with you because this is the theme of this newsletter, how our journey of IVF has led me to the position I’m in now, doing what I love and being rewarded greatly for It both financially and emotionally.

What this journey has taught me is that our experience as a human is completely self-created. Not in the sense that I am at fault or to blame but that how we see ourselves, the world and our ‘problems’ is what we really experience.

I’ve gone from hating myself and my balls not working properly to being completely grateful that I had the mumps. That’s not because I have two boys it happened way before then, it was because I began to see how I was creating my own experience:

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Through judgements

Stories

Programming

Conditioning

Ideas

Beliefs

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These were all learned and they were experienced moment by moment which is normal but I was missing that there was so much more to it!

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Compassion

Forgiveness

Presence

Power

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To bring these things TOO our experience creates such richness, freedom, creativity and peace.

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To know how to experience the fullness and innocence of the human condition without acting in life as if it’s true is a complete game changer. Not only for me but for anyone!

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This isn’t a luxury it’s vital if we want to be relaxed, open and powerful in our lives. If we have goals, dreams and a vision for our lives, understanding ourselves and how we work is the difference between enjoying our life or being in resistance to it.

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This month I made a couple of podcasts about this you can watch them here:

Podcast 1: Anxiety, depression, infertility and success (most popular podcast this year)

Podcast 2: How to change your story and view of life

I talk in more depth about how to create more freedom from challenging or limiting self-beliefs and I don’t hold back, I share my experience with you and sometimes use real life coaching stories to create context.

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Take your time with these podcasts there’s a lot on there and please feel free to share them with someone who you think would benefit from hearing them today.

Client story: I don’t know what to do I’m confused…….

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I set up this newsletter in part to share client stories with you that will serve you, I truly believe that sharing stories is a powerful way to create inspiration and change in others. If nothing else it will create awareness of possibility which opens up space for something new in our lives.

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This month I’m sharing a story of a client who I’ve been working with for about 18 months now. We had a space between one agreement ending and another beginning to allow for some consolidation of what we’d covered.

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Something my client shared with me on voice note which prompted us to speak again was this:

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“Sam, I’d gotten life to exactly where I wanted it but things have changed really quickly and now I find myself back where I started, I don’t know what to do!”

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My client is a CEO of a couple of companies and one of the things we’d been working on was having him take a step back from business so he could spend more time with his young family, there were limiting beliefs in the way for him around that.

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But over the weeks we worked together this became a reality and he was really enjoying this new found freedom not only in his business and life but within himself! He was so happy he’d achieved something he wanted for so long.

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The problem was now, due to something occurring outside of his control he found himself being pulled back into the business and away from the life he’d created.

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He wasn’t sure what he needed to do, he came to me confused and unsure of what to do.

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This is a common issue, we believe the issue is a ‘doing’ issue when usually it isn’t, it’s a ‘being’ issue.

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I shared with him that his issue has nothing to do with not knowing what to ‘do’ that will become obvious soon enough, the real issue was a being issue.

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We went on to have a really profound session about what he sees isn’t possible and why? And it became obvious that it was more accurate to say he wasn’t sure how to implement the ‘doing’ because of what would happen as a result of that and how it would make him look;

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He had fears around not being liked, not being seen as a good guy and upsetting people he loves.

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He was unknowingly creating a conflict between the changes he needed to make and the desire to stay likeable and to be seen as a ‘good man’

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So we slowed down and got clear together, we worked through the judgements he had about himself being unlikeable (unloved) and what changes he wanted and needed to make to get the business back in a direction of what he wants in his life.

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The really cool part of the conversation was when my client realised that the changes he is making in his business don’t have to conflict with his desire to be liked as the business owner. Of course he needs to be willing to not be liked that’s part of being a leader, but he begun to explore how the changes he was making could mean he would be thought even more of, that it was an opportunity to give people/ staff even more of what they wanted too! everyone's a winner!

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My client left refreshed and we are now engaging in more work together.

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Please take this story and apply it to something in your own life

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What do you want?

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Are you clear on how to get it?

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What is in the way of you having it?

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If you aren’t sure we need to talk.

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Reflection

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So how about you, the reader? are you living your best life?

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Are you finding that you’re living how you want to live and getting what you want to get?

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Are you sure that as you go through life you won’t look back with regrets? (that’s a useful pointer to what we might want to change now)

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As someone who was very used to living life how I thought I ‘should’ or ‘could’ live

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Sending love

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Until next time

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Sam

P.s If you feel called to get the kind of support my client has, then send me a message directly and I will come back to you with a time to speak. This session is complimentary but please, serious enquiries only, this isn't only a 'get to know you' it's a coaching session where we will begin doing the work for you, in you and for your life.

You can email me here to register your interest: [email protected]

Sending love.