You Create Confidence

Confidence

Mary stood in the entrance to the auditorium with her head held high as she surveyed the room. And as she began to make her way to the stage people took notice of the ease with which she seemed to carry herself.?

She smiled and greeted members of the audience along the way; shaking hands or elbow bumping, and some received a firm shoulder squeeze when she recognized a familiar face.

Mary gave her undivided attention (if just for a moment) to each person she greeted, and as she stepped up on the stage and positioned herself in front of the podium, no one could have guessed that her flight had been delayed and rerouted until the early morning hours.

Mary was prepared to deliver the talk of her life, and she was excited to connect with the audience and share her knowledge.

She was creating her own confidence.

What is confidence?

The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines confidence in these terms:

1. A feeling or consciousness of one’s powers or of reliance on one’s circumstances

As in, Mary had confidence in her ability to deliver this presentation no matter the hoops she had to jump through, and the lack of sleep she had to endure to get there.

2. Faith or belief that one will act in a right, proper, or effective way

As in, tapping into the energy with which Mary entered the auditorium, the audience had full confidence in her ability to deliver an impactful presentation.

We could also describe this confidence from the perspective of experience. Mary was confident because she was well-prepared, and had delivered similar presentations in the past, with success. This reinforced her belief that she could do the same on this occasion.?

And although she easily tapped into the whole “past performance is the best indicator of future success” thing, Mary was equally conscious of her power and ability to dictate her circumstances in the present.

In this case, she was focused on overcoming a rough day of travel uncertainty as just a blip on the radar; and she actually detached from whatever results she might experience (even though she knew would nail it).

Mary knows what we all can learn; that our inner perspective is where our power resides. It's where our confidence originates.

In this way, our confidence level is directly related to the attitude, energy, and conscious choice with which we apply ourselves.

And this confidence determines the extent to which we perform to our potential in everything we do.

With confidence, you have won before you have started. - Marcus Garvey

And it helps determine the extent to which we successfully deliver our leadership.

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Levels of Confidence

If I asked you about your current level of leadership confidence how would you respond?

Are you currently feeling (and expressing) low confidence levels? Are you performing with a feeling of helplessness, powerlessness, fear, or doubt??

To what extent do you associate your worth with performance outcomes??

Many of us in this situation employ strong coping mechanisms, such as feeling the need to deliver “false bravado” in order to mask our feelings of inadequacy.

We may only see challenges and not the opportunities that our circumstances provide us.

When we relinquish control or agency of our circumstances we limit our very potential and set ourselves on a path for certain disappointment.

At moderate confidence levels, we begin to see the good in any situation and we may notice we’ve begun to feel confident in spite of a few setbacks here or there, or when our performance doesn’t deliver our ideal outcome.

This is the gateway to seeing opportunities in every obstacle, where we start to feel a sense of inner calm and curiosity in spite of undesired outcomes. We look for new challenges.

Finally, with high to very high confidence levels, we notice a consistency in how we see most of what we experience. Confidence is mostly or even completely independent of outcomes, and we create it at will - with ultimate power.

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The path to greater confidence involves being highly aware of all the ways in which you are successful - right now.

It’s not the same as using experience to allow yourself to feel more confident, although that will certainly help.?

Experience tells you how to do something. Confidence allows you to do it.

What we’re talking about here is transferring your feeling of confidence in one area of life to another, or any that you choose.

It means recognizing your innate ability to create confidence wherever you choose and be successful in any aspect of your leadership and life.

As we consciously practice and recognize the skills that lead to success, we create even more opportunities to successfully navigate whatever situations come our way.

What would it take for you to buy into your ability for creating confidence?

How could you apply this confidence to perform better in every aspect of your life?

How could your leadership and your life be different?

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Brian is an ICF-certified life, leadership, and career coach. He combines a unique background of leadership roles in the military, manufacturing operations, and human resources to deliver powerful coaching and help his clients achieve their personal and professional development goals.